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Ok, I'm gonna teach all you bitches how to make the Hunger Games dried plum stew cuz no recipie on the internet is doing it right. It's a cury/Nigerian stew. It's served over rice. IT'S NOT LAMB SOUP. That being said, here's my recipe. Bone Apple Teeth Bitches.

Curry base:

- 1 spring onion

- 1 small yellow onion

- 1 elephant garlic clove

- 1 red pepper

- Seasoning??? (Salt, Pepper, other shit to make it yummy, follow your gut or look up good lamb seasonings)

- Olive oil (in the bottom of the pan)

- Agave vinegar (or balsalmic)

- Dried plums (like, at least 20???)

- Water

Other stuff:

- More veg to taste

- Chunk of lamb (shoulder works)

- More plumbs Possibly (dried/not dried, whatever)

- Spring onion to garnish?

Sauce Steps:

- Sautee the spring onion, yellow onion, pepper, garlic, until all soft and caramelized. Toss in the vinegar in this stage.

- Add a bottle of water and your plums to simmer. Do the plums little by little.

- Once everything is soft and the water has boiled out, let it cool, then blend it until 85% smooth.

- Boom. Curry sauce/Base.

Rest of Steps:

- Cut the lamb into roughly 2 inch chunks

- Season your lamb. I recommend using the same stuff you put in the sauce, but you can add whatever tastes/smells good.

- Sear the outside of your seasoned lamb chunks, throw them in a crock pot/slow cooking vessel with half of your curry base and some water. More water if you want to add veggies and eat it like a soupy stew, but that's wrong to serve over rice so fuck you

- Let it cook all day/night whatever, throw in a few more plums, spring onions, or whatever you need when it's almost done.

- Make rice. I like basmati. Wash your rice for protection from the angry mulan man, and season to taste. I'm bougie so I add truffle salt and herbs de providence.

- Put rice in a bowl, leave a little moat area in the rice. Put your lamb curry/stew thing in it.

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Question: Every culture and people across Tamriel has their particular hard-to-make dish, whether that be the godawful tedium of making puff pastry, the ordeal of more advanced meringues, or the process of making Moon Sugar lokum.

What is each culture's easier "cheater" shortcut to make an approximation of their (or their neighbor's) culture's stupidly hard to make dish?

Let's face it, none of us want to make filo pastry, consommé, or even roux from scratch sometimes. These are a few tricks the Men and Mer of Tamriel employ in the kitchen when appetites are high and patience is low. However, some of the approximations below may end up being more of a long-winded journey than a shortcut, as you shall see...

Altmer

Don't even get me started on the complexities of High Elf cuisine, because we'll be here for a couple of years. In terms of quick replacements, chickpea water (aquafaba) stands in for egg whites for meringues. This quintessential sweet treat is an Altmer favourite, and by beating the aquafaba with sugar, you get a vegan alternative that's tasty too!

Argonians

Argonian cakes are notoriously time-consuming and difficult to make, and some prefer shortcuts to slaving away over a pot of condensed coconut milk. While it is standard practice to leave certain desserts to set or gel, which takes some time in the moist and hot climate of Black Marsh, some quicken the process by adding agar-agar, or algae jelly. This helps desserts develop a firm finish faster, without compromising on flavour.

Bosmer

Every good dish in Valenwood is slow-cooked, and it's impossible to replicate twelve hours over the fire in under two. Or is it? The Bosmer love their clay pots, which absorb and keep heat well, thus speeding up the slow-cooking process. Rather than cooking dishes over the fire as is usual, these clay pots are filled and popped into a huge stone oven (more of a furnace really). The Oblivion-like temperatures work together with the clay pot to give perfectly tender results, every time.

Bretons

A universally acknowledged fact is that catching, cleaning, and cooking crab is a pain in the ass. Enter the Bretons, who have concocted a very surprising crab substitute made from reconstituted seafood that someone didn't have the heart to throw out. The imitation crab is made by mashing the seafood leftovers with flour, seasoning, and food dye, making it look (though not quite taste) like real crab. Crafty, and much easier to deal with than the real thing!

Dunmer

Making the ideal ash yam stew takes a lot of patience, due to the tuber's fibrous texture. In order to cook ash yams right, they cook best when subjected to the 'low and slow' method of cooking. When you don't have that sort of luxury, ash yams are frequently replaced by sweet potatoes or ube yams on Vvardenfell. While the flavour is a little off, they cook fairly quickly by comparison, and thicken up like a regular ash yam stew with the help of some mashed saltrice.

Imperials

Argonian culinary influences in the Blackwood region have spread across Cyrodiil over centuries, making some Argonian dishes surprisingly part of the staple Imperial diet. Due to the availability of fresh ingredients though, sometimes you've got to make do with what's available. Take, for example, bantam guar dumplings. These rice paper dumplings are either steamed or fried, and are stuffed with a spiced mince of bantam guar. While the rice paper required to make these dumplings is a cheap and plentiful export from Black Marsh, bantam guar is a lot harder to source. Minced chicken and pheasant are more commonly used across the Province, though they lack the same umami flavour of bantam guar.

Khajiit

One shortcut that's frequently taken by the impatient in Elsweyr (yours truly included) is buying our moon sugar dulce de leche, rather than slaving away over the stove for another ingredient as if it were alchemy. Dulce de leche, like butter, can be bought from dairies and grocers alike, and it is an important component of many Khajiiti desserts, for which there is not really any equivalent approximation. That's why the wide availability of moon sugar dulce de leche is important- it's essential, and there's nothing like it!

Nords

Dried, salted cod is a major export of Skyrim, and one of the major purchasers are the coastal Redguards, who make a fish dish called bacalhau. In Hammerfell, it is simply poached with aromatic herbs, onions, and garlic, and dressed with some olive oil. In Skyrim, we love the idea of Redguard bacalhau so much that it somehow became an ubiquitous household dish, yet the first Nords to cook with it clearly had no idea what they were doing. These days, bakalao (as it is spelled in Skyrim) is a stew of salted dried cod in a rich and herby tomato sauce. It's a bit off the mark compared to the original, but it's absolutely delicious in its own right. However, I'm not entirely sure if this counts as a shortcut, as it seems to be the other way around in hindsight...

Orcs

The Wood Orcs of Valenwood eat in a similar way to their Wrothgarian brethren, but keeping an identical diet in two wholly different climates is a difficult thing. Wrathberries, which are native to Wrothgar and a quintessential ingredient in Orsimer cooking, are still much prized and sought after in Valenwood. Due to their rarity and price, however, they are used sparingly, like bay leaves and juniper berries, rather than letting it become a flavour that dominates a dish. An approximation that Wood Orcs use when there are no wrathberries to be found are dried cranberries, boiled with a bit of bittergreen and a thimble of pork or beef blood to form a syrup.

Redguards

A popular shortcut that Redguards take in cooking is diluting rose syrup to make a light rosewater in a jiffy without having to boil a bucket of fresh rose petals. Making one's own concentrated rose syrup in advance, or buying it, is far preferable to obtaining a garden's worth of flowers, and tastes and smells exactly like the original, if a little sweeter depending on how much sugar is used. Rosewater is an absolute staple in Redguard desserts and refreshments, so this is, like moon sugar dulce de leche for the Khajiit, absolutely indispensable.

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(((((: my fave snack is bruschetta but not really bc i make it funny

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i made my sister look through my skyrim cook book for things that she actually would eat if i made it and one of the two recipes she bookmarked was the apple cabbage stew. i made it last night and it was definitely good, but i doubt i’ll be making it again. i don’t like sweet things and going into this i knew it would be at least a little bit sweet so i didn’t follow the recipe exactly the way the book said, i did not have leek /: * i used a small yellow onion and i added the thyme to the butter before i added the onion. after i had added the cabbage and said sister walked into the kitchen and said “is that thyme? i don’t really like thyme..” * so i added rosemary * i also sautéed the apple slices (i think it says diced, i sliced thin and then kinda sliced little 1cm pieces) and i had a chicken breast that i needed to use so i cubed it and threw it in. i also think i didn’t add as much water as the recipe called for bc i didn’t have enough bullion )))))): it was supposed to be chicken, the recipe says chicken, but i had to use one beef and i added about 2 tablespoons of flour, and i salted the HELLLL out of it

it was definitely a little bit sweet, but it was really good, i ate pretty much the whole thing, i made my sister get at least seconds before doing so tho

/: and i didn’t take pictures, i didn’t think about it until i was cleaning out the pot. i don’t think i’ll make it again tho bc it was pretty bland

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i’m quick pickling mushrooms! i’m rly excited about it, i’ve never pickled mushrooms before.

i just used my usual pickling mix of garlic, mustard seeds, and 4 types of peppercorn, but i’m out of dill so i used rosemary bc i know it goes well with mushrooms and i have like a huge paper bag full of rosemary that i picked and dried so. like i use rosemary in everything.

i don’t like sweet pickles so i used equal parts sea salt and light brown sugar* (about 1 teaspoon each) with equal parts of water and white vinegar (1/2 a cup of each) for my brine and i’m gonna let it sit in my fridge overnight, tho i’ll probably test them in at least a few hours and then i’m going to fry them bc i really like fried pickles but i didn’t want to buy cucumbers so i’m pickling mushrooms instead

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oh yeah these bitches fire, i tested them after two hours and was pleasantly surprised, they’re super good AND ready to fry. 10/10 i recommend

i cut up more mushrooms and put them into the brine and put it back in the fridge

i’m quick pickling mushrooms! i’m rly excited about it, i’ve never pickled mushrooms before.

i just used my usual pickling mix of garlic, mustard seeds, and 4 types of peppercorn, but i’m out of dill so i used rosemary bc i know it goes well with mushrooms and i have like a huge paper bag full of rosemary that i picked and dried so. like i use rosemary in everything.

i don’t like sweet pickles so i used equal parts sea salt and light brown sugar* (about 1 teaspoon each) with equal parts of water and white vinegar (1/2 a cup of each) for my brine and i’m gonna let it sit in my fridge overnight, tho i’ll probably test them in at least a few hours and then i’m going to fry them bc i really like fried pickles but i didn’t want to buy cucumbers so i’m pickling mushrooms instead

[oateyes]

i’m quick pickling mushrooms! i’m rly excited about it, i’ve never pickled mushrooms before.

i just used my usual pickling mix of garlic, mustard seeds, and 4 types of peppercorn, but i’m out of dill so i used rosemary bc i know it goes well with mushrooms and i have like a huge paper bag full of rosemary that i picked and dried so. like i use rosemary in everything.

i don’t like sweet pickles so i used equal parts sea salt and light brown sugar* (about 1 teaspoon each) with equal parts of water and white vinegar (1/2 a cup of each) for my brine and i’m gonna let it sit in my fridge overnight, tho i’ll probably test them in at least a few hours and then i’m going to fry them bc i really like fried pickles but i didn’t want to buy cucumbers so i’m pickling mushrooms instead

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Bright-Throat Mango Sticky Rice

The Bright-Throats of Murkmire are one of the few friendly groups in the area, and their passion for cultural exchange means sharing many of their dietary customs freely with outsiders. This traditional dish is a hearty dessert that combines the juicy flavours of fresh mango with coconut milk-drenched sticky rice. A true treat for Argonian cuisine lovers!

You will need:

250g glutinous rice (you can use arborio in a pinch but Asian glutinous rice is best)

1 large mango, peeled and chopped into generous chunks

1 can coconut milk

3 tbsp coconut cream

1 1/2 tsp salt

3 tbsp sugar

Method:

Soak the glutinous rice in a mixing bowl overnight. Change the water, rinse, and cover with fresh water (about 3cm).

Cover the bowl with a plate and microwave on high for 7 mins, taking out to stir halfway through. Stir again, then return to the microwave for another 5 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes. The rice should be firm but sticky. Remove from the microwave to cool. Once at room temperature, refrigerate.

Combine the coconut milk, salt, and sugar in a pan. Bring to a simmer. Divide the chilled rice into two portions, then top with cut mango and pour on as much coconut milk mixture as you like. Drizzle with coconut cream to serve. Mix together and enjoy!

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Korean Instant Pot Short Ribs (Galbi Jjim) This Instant Pot short ribs recipe helps you create authentic Korean flavors with fork-tender braised beef swimming in a savory and fruity sauce.

Recipe => https://omnivorescookbook.com/korean-instant-pot-short-ribs/

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FLOUR TORTILLAS

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