oatmealaftermidnight - Tumblr blog

[oatmealaftermidnight]

If you’re going to write them something, at least give them some sort of hope

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Love ain’t always fireworks. Sometimes love just comes softly

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Hi. I used to care.

I used to care if he sent me a message.

I used to think about his hair and glasses.

I used to send him pictures of breakfast.

I used to let my heart skip a beat around him.

Now I don't care. I don't think. I don't send. I don't skip anything because he is nothing to me anymore except a memory of growing up.

I used to care.

But now I don't.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

I realise that I came here a lot after he died. And for some reason I felt relief by sharing my pain with the open void of this... thing. I realise I was very broken. I realise I am still breaking.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

You shouldn't drown yourself in your sisters pool. Mostly out of courtesy for the pool cleaners and your two year old niece. You shouldn't slide knives up and down your arms. Mostly out of courtesy for your skin, even though it's screaming for you to open it. You shouldn't lie to a boy who loves you. Mostly out of courtesy for his heart, but sometimes he doesn't seem to get it. You shouldn't be sad. But you are. You won't. You won't. You won't. Find a five seconds.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Later

After all this time, I still miss you. It still hurts. The sting hasn't left. What I'm trying to say is.... I still miss you

[oatmealaftermidnight]

I adore the living shit out of you

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Goodbyes to the life

Here's a shout into the void to say that I loved you. I loved you. You stupid little beanie baby with your ripped eye and your missing tail. I loved you so much. I hope you're staying warm, wherever they took you. I don't think I will ever forget you. I love you, Pugsly. And I miss you

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Here is a secret :: I wish you were laying in bed with me. With your body very close to mine. Staring at the ceiling. So I wouldn't be staring alone.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Goodbye backpack

On top of everything else, I lost Pugsly.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

More than anything

I'm just laying here. Laying here and thinking about you. I miss you so much that my chest hurts. I didn't realise my heart could feel like this. But it can. And it hurts. Everything hurts without you. Nothing makes sense. Sometimes you don't realise your world until it's ripped away from you. I miss you. More than anything.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

The best thing to say when you don't know what to say is, Putin de merde

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Moving out

Everything hurts. I'm sunburned from head to toe. Your songs fill my head and are breaking my heart. It's hard to breathe. It's hard to laugh. It's hard to be alive without you. I keep crying and not crying. Everything hurts. I miss you.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Give less of a shit and care as much as you can

[oatmealaftermidnight]

And here I am. Laying on the floor. Laying on the roof. Laying on the dirt. Laying on the rug. Wishing it was not the way it is. Crying because it felt lonely. But a twinge of happiness. Because there is someone on my side. Even if he isn't right here. And even if he doesn't always buy me a birthday gift. He loves me and will protect me. No matter how old we get. It's okay. Even though it's not okay.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

Even if it’s the end of life as you know it, at least you know you tried.

[oatmealaftermidnight]

What steps can I take (other than the obvious recycling, water conservation, etc.) to feel less depressed about climate change? Sometimes it feels like people just don't care and it's really discouraging.

It’s not going away, that’s for sure and it’s not going to get better for a long long time. It’s really only going to get worse and our weather and droughts are only going to get more extreme. It’s all happening twice as fast as even the most dire of models had predicted. What engages people to take action in their lives, unless they are pretty conscious, is when something effects them directly. There will be no hiding from the effects of climate change. It will effect all peoples in all places and the effects will only become more acute over time and will only become more apparent that it is related to man made climate change. That will begin to accelerate care and action. The sooner we act the less political upheaval and social turmoil there will be. That said it’s still going to get ugly, there will be Climate Refugees and scarcity of food and water. There will be sea rise that will inundate coastal cities in the near future. The best thing you can start to do is to begin to electrify your life. The sooner we stop burning carbons, including “Natural Gas” the sooner we will start to diminish the harms of Man Made Climate Change. The good news is the technology we need to transition from a carbon energy world is at hand. The economics are on our side to make this transition. Awareness is building that this cleaner future is at hand, and people are already adopting Solar and Wind at a record breaking pace every single year. The cost of electric transportation is also plummeting. Global oil prices have artificially plummeted but that too is working in our favor with the most devastating extraction techniques being held at bay while the Clean Energy Revolution unfolds. It’s going to be slow going and we are going to have setbacks but the more we stay engaged the more we are willing to take direct action when the time comes the faster we will see a just energy system come into being. I would say have some faith, do what you can in little ways to decrease burning fossil fuels and tackle the big things like heating and cooling and transportation when you can. We are all in this together. This is the time when government can do a lot. It’s a lot like mobilizing for a war. No one every complains about that when the time comes to fight, they never think there is too much government then. This will be another kind of mobilization, a peaceful one that promises greater peace by manifesting it’s existence.