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“They all said the same thing. Gerard.”

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yall be in relationships? LMAO

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plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over

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it’s not about that i know how to do laundry. it’s that when i was four i knew how to fold clothes; small hands working alongside my mother, while my older brother sat and played with his toys. it’s that i know what kind of detergent works but my father guesses. it’s that in my freshman year of college i had a line of boys who needed me to show them how to use the machine. it’s that the first door they knocked on belonged to me. it’s that they expected me to know.

it’s not that i know how to cook. it’s that the biggest christmas present i got was a little plastic kitchenette i never used except to climb on. it’s that my brother used it more, his hands ghosting over pink buttons and yellow dials. it’s that when my work needs cake for a birthday, they turn to me. i get it from costco. i don’t even like cooking. a boy burns popcorn in the dorm microwave and laughs. a week later, i do the same thing, and he snorts at me, “just crossed you off my wife list.” it’s that i had heard something like this so many times before that i laughed, too.

it’s not that i don’t love being feminine. it’s that i came home with bruises from trying to be a trick rider on my bike and heard the word “tomboy,” felt my little mouth say, “but i’m not a boy, i’m a girl”. it’s that they laughed. it’s that until i was sitting in my pretty dress and smiling with a big pretty smile and blinking my big pretty eyes, i wasn’t given back the title “girl”. it’s that until i wore makeup and styled my hair i was bullied; it’s that when i don’t wear makeup i’m a slob, that my mental health diagnosis hangs on the hook of being dressed up. it’s that my therapist sees me returning to bright red lipstick and tells me i am looking happier and i have to explain that i am more sad than i have ever been. it’s that i dress myself in as many layers as i can every time i ride a train because it’s better to be laughed at than harassed. 

it’s not that i know how to clean, it’s that my brother’s chores were outside where i wanted to be, and mine were inside. it’s that i would have weeded the garden better than he did if they had just let me. it’s that i am put in charge of fixing other’s messes, expected to comply without complaint.

it’s not that i can’t open the jar. it’s that you ask my brother first every time. it’s that i am pushed into docile positions, trained to believe that my body when it’s strong and healthy is ugly, trained into being less, weaker. it’s that the jar is also science, is also engineering, is also every job, every opportunity. it’s that you laugh faster when he tells a joke, that you take him seriously but wave off me, that when he raises his voice he’s assertive but when i do i’m hysterical. the jar is getting into a car with a stranger as a driver and wondering if this is our last ride. the jar is knowing that if something happens to us, it’s our fault. 

it’s that i’m weak and i don’t know if it’s because i just am or i was trained to be. it’s that we need to sit pretty with our pretty smiles and our pretty words trapped pretty and silent in our throats, our hands restless but pretty when idle, our bodies vessels for nothing but a future white dress. it’s that we are taught someone else needs to open the jar for us.

here’s the secret: run metal lids under hot water, they’ll expand faster than the glass they’re around. here’s the secret: when you keep us under hot water, we do more than boil. we expand over our edges. and we learn how to open our mouths, our claws, our screams hanging in kites over cities. just give me a chance. give me a chance when i am four when i am seven when i am twenty-three. i promise i can be amazing. give me the jar. i’ll show you something.

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Me: They need a delivery service, but like, for drinking.

Friend: To reduce drunk driving?

Me: No, so I don't have to put on pants.

Friend: Oh.

Me: Or, you know, to reduce drunk driving.

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You tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.

Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love (via unextinguished)

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FIREFLY: most iconic quotes  [insp]

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Putting these up for anyone who needs them today.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Why Does he DO That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

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Them: Why do you even care who runs the country?

Me: 

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I came home from shooting and my dad hadn’t seen me since I had [the mustache] and I opened the door on Thanksgiving and he looked at me and was like “nope, nope, nope.” He said it felt like he was looking in a mirror.

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I just lost 6 followers for pointing out that there aren’t a lot of women in lord of the rings. I lost more followers than there are speaking female characters in the nine hours of lord of the rings

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Don’t Tell Girls

“You’re too pretty to be single” Why is one person’s idea of ideal aestheticism A basis for a relationship status And furthermore What is so goddamn shameful or pathetic about being single anyway Is confidence and comfort in being by one’s self intimidating to you

“Swearing is unladylike” Bullshit Swears are only words And these words do not negate my intelligence, or passion, or define anything about me as a person or my character Men are never told not to swear Swear as much as you fucking want

“Your standards are too high! Just give him a chance” No You are invalidating a woman’s right to say no She doesn’t need to explain herself to anyone She doesn’t owe anyone anything Ever Everyone should have standards for themselves, and not feel like they need to lower them to please anyone Or be shamed for leading someone on when they know it would never work Because that happens too

“If you dress like that, boys will get the wrong idea” What idea might that be? That women might actually feel beautiful and confident in their own bodies? Heaven forbid Because obviously women’s bodies belong to everyone else except themselves

“Don’t frown - someone might be falling in love with your smile!” Why Is it my responsibility to always smile no matter how I feel I am a human being who is allowed to experience pain, or confusion, or sorrow, or boredom Men are never criticized for having “resting bitch face”

“Short hair makes you look like a boy!” This is assuming That there is one certain way for “boys” and “girls” to look Not so Some boys have long hair, some girls have short hair, some people who are both or neither also have hair Hair has no gender Humans are allowed to look different from each other and express themselves how they like Gender identity and gender expression are not the same

They aren’t “real” girls because they were born with a penis Anyone is a girl who says they are a girl Stop trying to undermine someone’s identity They know themselves better than you do Anatomy and identity are different, and sometimes separate Why are you so obsessed with other people’s genitals anyway

“You’re going to break a lot of hearts one day” Why would you ever Ever Say this to a girl A young, impressionable girl Breaking hearts is not a compliment, or a goal Coming from someone who has broken at least one From simply being honest and being myself It is a burden - a guilt that has been (mis)placed on my shoulders since childhood I never wanted to be labelled a heartbreaker simply for existing

“You don’t want kids? You’ll change your mind one day” No I won’t Even if I do, one day, that doesn’t make my opinion right now any less valid or deserving of respect Stop disbelieving people about their own life choices Also, having children is not a necessary milestone for a successful or fulfilling life

“Don’t have sex before marriage - boys really want a virginal girl” Sure they do And are boys ever held to that same expectation To stay virgins until marriage? Because as women are shamed for “impurity,” boys are applauded for “experience” I love the smell of double standards in the morning

“You shouldn’t wear so much makeup” The natural look is great The makeup look is great The anything you feel like doing or not doing to your own face look is great Let people do whatever they want to their own bodies Whatever makes them feel good Why do you care

“Selfies are just for attention” Maybe Maybe not What’s so wrong about liking attention What’s so wrong about feeling beautiful and confident in your own skin And wanting to share that feeling with others We were taught for so long to hate our bodies What is so threatening about finally loving them

“Cat-calling is flattering! Learn how to accept a compliment!” “I like your hair” is a compliment “You’re a really talented writer” is a compliment The gross, vulgar things that men shout at women they don’t know on the street Are not compliments They are harassment - meant to imply ownership and dominance and even violence Compliments should not make people fear for their lives walking home Compliments should not actually get people killed

- angelxhunter (x)

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Chris Evans photographed for Rolling Stone Magazine

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