obsidian-goblet - Tumblr blog

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end of s1 Hayward: *handcuffed writhing on the ground foaming at the mouth choking on rage* CARPENTERRRR FIND A GOD OF SOBBING FUGITIVES LIMPING PREY-ANIMALS AND TREMBLING CREATURES AND PRAY TO IT DAY AND NIGHT AND HOPE IT ANSWERS YOU BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM THAT—

s3 Hayward: oh my goddd it’s Carpenter! hi, Carpenter! yeah yeah she’s an old friend:)

and this is why i am, unfortunately, obsessed with this man

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The Magnus Archives is like the SCP Foundation if they didn't Secure. Or Contain. Or Protect for that matter. So really they're like if you went to the SCP Foundation begging for help with the monster that had been tormenting you and some tired British academic just sort of nodded and said "Fucked If True." And then proceeded to Kubrick stare at you every night in your sleep for the rest of your life.

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we'll never be rid of each other

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HEY! Go read Murderbot!

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im making this its own post actually

found family is "i have endured the fucking horrors with these guys. i would both kill and die for them. i would rip my own bones out to make splints to heal theirs. there is no name for the bond we share"

found family is NOT "this guy is so dad-coded and these guys are so sibling-like and—"

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A comic based on a dream I had the other night.

The idea of something imitating my dog and coming into my home sent chills down my spine

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meet cute: it's raining and I see your battered bleeding body lying in the mud and I kick it slightly to see if you're dead

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does hayward fuck? (for all intents and purposes please do not take this seriously)

A question this weighty and provocative, with so many variables to consider, really deserves its own space - so I've begun work on a draft academic essay and analysis of this topic, suitably entitled Does Hayward Fuck?, which examines and lays out the available evidence and counter-evidence:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mWU_QRtlKFztbZFKo3KvFoekynlLWrAK7eDoQ9_tVbc/edit?usp=sharing

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How your email finds me 🚬💀

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Thinking about Kent from Stardew Valley, I've often wondered why basically all he talks about to you is about his trauma. Like that's fine I guess but I've casually wondered why it's pretty much the only thing he ever talks about to you.

But it just occurred to me that Sam, Vincent, and Jodi note that he doesn't tell them what's wrong. It's surprising to Jodi that he hates the sound of popcorn, Vincent and Sam both note that he's different but they don't know why, he goes to festivals even though crowds and open fields trigger him.

He's trying very badly to hide it but he needs to talk about it. And the farmer has no preexisting ideas about him. Depending on how long he's been gone this time, you may be the only person in town that didn't know him before he went to the front lines. He's trauma dumping to you and only you because he has no idea to live up to in your mind. You're a blank slate. A new relationship. He doesn't have to pretend to be strong around you. He can just be miserable in your presence and you let him and give him roasted hazelnuts sometimes and roasted hazelnuts remind him of his mom and that's basically what your relationship boils down to. You're the person that will stand next to the river with him and go "Damn dude that sucks do you want an egg"

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Ghosts that should exist soon if not already

Notifications/typing noises in otherwise empty spaces

People waving you over from the side of the road and asking if you're their Lyft. Disappear the moment you look away

Abandoned warehouses that sometimes reverberate with an unheard bass

'Cold spots' where you can't get signal (that cannot be otherwise explained)

That dispensary with the blacked out windows? It used to be a Blockbuster until the manager got shot. If it's the right kind of night and you look real close and cup your hands to block out all the light? You can watch it happen, but they might see you

Newsletters from startups that no longer exist

Hype House haunted by the reason they had to make an apology video

Pictures of a stranger in your camera roll

At 2:30 every morning you can hear a ringing bell coming from the elementary school. Thing is, they switched to a digital tone in 2013. Also, it cannot be captured electronically

Welcome to Denny's what can I start you on? You already ordered? Wait.. Tall, pink hair? *sigh* Been dead for a mtonth and she's still stealing tips

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WHY DID HE SAY THIS. WHAT POSSESSED HIM.

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oh we thought we killed a god and left it to rot but yeah. turns out that was basically just some guy or a vessel or whatever and the actual god was the rot itself. yeah im like super into decaying now. yeah the eternal rot. thats why im decomposing. get this though. the corpse of the god we killed? fresh as a patch of flowers

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JUST FINISHED THE DEATH SERIES my favorites are definietly Reaper Man and Hogfather

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You drank a snake oil salesman’s drink only for it to make you actually immortal in the old west now 300 years later you see that same salesman

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A story from back when I played D&D. It might have been 3.5 or pathfinder or fantasycraft or one of that ilk. Might even have been 4e. It was like a decade ago.

So. Standard D&D. A party of bold adventurers of diverse origins and skillsets gets together to explore a perilous dungeon and stop a cartoonish baddy. The usual.

I end up building a fairly typical character for me. A goblin Rogue/Assassin. A stealth/melee build designed to get the drop on an enemy, do a bunch of rapid damage, and then fuck off.

She was lawful evil, and firmly in the team-fortress-two-sniper school of "You know who has a lot of feelings? Men what bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards." school of being a mercenary. I think I even did an aussie accent.

Anyway her schtick was that she'd noticed 'Adventurers' got to do as much violence as they wanted without social consequences, and she loved violence! So she was gonna do a stint as an adventurer, so once she was done she could go home with a big sack of gold to spend on booze and cake and hot girls. But right now she was on the job, so she was an extremely professional team player with a strict code of conduct. Always be honest with the team, follow the plan, don't mess things up for the team, split the loot evenly. Standards.

Verna was a horrible efficient little murder gremlin who was also proudly guild-certified. * * *

Now, another PC was a chaotic neutral gnome bard who was leaning hard on the 'gnomes are amusingly racist to goblins and kobolds and think this is funny and endearing' thing. He teased Verna a bunch about being green and ugly, which she studiously ignored because - remember - she had Professional Standards.

Anyway, there was a human NPC we met that she didn't like, saying he was a bit stupid and very annoying. Our gnome bard decided it would be very funny to use one of his enchantment spells to make Verna suddenly horny for him and watch what happened.

Verna sees the gnome who keeps fucking with her walk up, wave his hands and babble some arcane nonsense, and now she has weird funny feelings she can't explain. She does some thinking and concludes that she'll pay the human for a snog later, because right now this guy's just obviously cast a spell to mess with her mind, which was Not Okay. Of course, she had Professional Standards, so...

She walks up to our gnome friend and basically informs him: "Hi! I know you just did some magical brainwashing on me, and I am not going to tolerate this! However, because we're in a team together, and I don't want this to become a problem, I am going to very generously allow you to settle the matter with me. We will have a bout of single combat to first blood, and then whoever wins I will consider the matter settled and my honour satisfied, and you won't do that again, and we won't mention it. This is a very kind offer of mine, because I have Standards; where I come from the normal response would be to say nothing and strangle you in your sleep tonight."

And our gnome, who is a spellcaster not a combatant, looks at this and decides he doesn't want to get shown up by her, and basically tells her that if she doesn't like getting messed with she can go back to the goblin village, and laughs at her.

So. Shrug. Quickdraw as a free action. I get a surprise round. You're flat footed, so it's easy to hit and I get sneak attack damage. 3/4 of his health is gone. Initiative. He says he wants to say sorry. I respond that he can say that when it gets to his initiative count, but right now it's my action and he's still flat-footed and here's my big pile of d6s for sneak attack and oh dear I think that's him on -10 hp, so he's not going to get the chance.

* * *

Anyway this kicked off a massive shitstorm ooc about how I just kicked off PvP and murdered a PC for no reason and the game fell apart because the gnome's player genuinely didn't seem to understand that 'mind control' is a hostile action. This was in the bad old days before safety tools and I was playing in a fairly neckbeardy group, so 'a man makes a woman horny against her will to humiliate her and laughs about it' was apparently not a deal-breaker while 'the woman stabs him for it' was.

I still think I wasn't the bad guy in this scenario.

There is no point to this story I just wanted to share it.

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i think there should be a third axis on the "is this thing good?" and "do i like it?" graph and that's "would i recommend this to someone else?" because there can be great things i love that i would not recommend to someone else unless very specific circumstances are met. there can be things that were kinda mid that i didn't like that i would ABSOLUTELY recommend to someone else because if you connect with one part of the narrative that i personally didn't or can overlook one thing that i couldn't, they'd be truly incredible. but the main reason is that there's a world of difference between bad things you love that you would NOT recommend to people (your own personal trash heap) and bad things you love that would take ANY REASON to recommend to people (dude, this thing sucks, PLEASE experience this with me) and i think that distinction is lost on the original