oceanicguardian - Tumblr blog

[oceanicguardian]

This is. Different. Hes different. So, so different. With him, I feel so.. warm. And comfortable. In his arms I feel safe. Secure. I'm not scared, not tense, I practically melt into him. It's so.. different.

[oceanicguardian]

Flustured, eh? God, you're fucking adorable.

God- Im so sorry I-

[oceanicguardian]

God- Im so sorry I-

[oceanicguardian]

Heh. Yours is alright too, I guess..

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

You are.. so, so awfully kind. Far more than you need to be.. thank you.

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

I don't get what you see in me, Rhys, I really don't.. I wish for a day I could see me through your eyes. You see me in a way that not many others have. I don't get why, but you do.

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

Well- well I did. Reioma held their guards to a high standard of excellence. When I couldn't abide, they'd handle things as necessary. Beyond the castle walls nothing is much different.

Opening up even remotely led down the rabbit hole landing me in the palm of a bastard's hand. And now I'm scared. Scared because I don't want anyone to touch me the way he did ever again. Scared because I don't want to be seen the way he saw me. Scared that any sort of love I give away will be disregarded and scared that I'm not more than a useless ragdoll, a broken vase waiting to be disregarded, unworthy of such affection..

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

Not in the real world. Not when talking out of turn leaves you with a gash across your face..

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

I just.. I don't want history repeating itself. When you're weak, you get taken advantage of. The predator chases the prey, just the way it's always been. I was.. weak. During my time training in Reioma. I was weak.

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

..Fuck, does this count? Sorry, I need to stop talking..

Dunno. Guess it just.. scares me a bit.

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

It's still hard to believe people can have good qualities at all. I was built as a metaphorical machine, not a.. person. Things still confuse me. I don't get how you open your heart up to people so quickly. Don't think I could ever really open up to anyone unless drunk..

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

Listen. I,, god. It's hard for me to understand you. I mean, you've been following me around like a lost puppy for a while now and the company is fine but I don't understand why you still do. I mean, I've completely blown you off dozens of times, met with only blank expressions. Why have you stayed?

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

Its,, a nice night, huh?

[oceanicguardian]

This person. Has been following me around. All day. He will not leave.

[oceanicguardian]

.. thanks?

Gym buddy! Hey! Hey gym buddy!

[oceanicguardian]

This is just how I look.

Gym buddy! Hey! Hey gym buddy!

[oceanicguardian]

I'm not sulking. Do I look like im sulking? Because I'm not.

Gym buddy! Hey! Hey gym buddy!