octartarian

[octartarian]

Hello, little buddy

Stinky buddy

Go eat a power egg, smelly

[octartarian]

hi

“the angry blue ones not here. ask me questions! (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ “

[octartarian]

DO NOT READ

“ATTEMPT 94 AT CURING THE STUPID FURRY EPIDEMIC THAT RAVAGES ALTERNA (BECAUSE THEY LOOK DISGUSTING AND WE DO NOT WANT THAT)”

“I HAVE MANAGED TO REVERSE ENGINEER THE FUZZY OOZE, USING MY OWN SANITIZED INK AS A SUBSTITUTION FOR SOME NICHE INGREDIENTS.”

“HOWEVER, THE CORE FORMULA IS SIMPLE - FUR, GOLDEN EGGS AND SOME OF THESE LIQUID CRYSTALS THAT GAVE THE SEAFOOD SENTIENCE.”

“TESTS ON A KIDNAPPED INFECTED OCTOTROOPER ARE PROVING SUCCESSFUL SO FAR. THEY SHED THEIR FUR, AT LEAST.”

“KEEPING THEM UNDER MY WATCHFUL EYE, IN HOPES THAT THEY DO NOT DEVELOP OTHER SYMPTOMS.”

“RIGHT NOW, THEY’RE FOLLOWING ME AROUND EVERYWHERE, THEIR EYES FILLED WITH A WEIRD EMOTION. NO MATTER WHAT I TELL THEM, THEY REFUSE TO LEAVE, BECAUSE THEY SAY THAT THEY LIKE ME.”

“I GREATLY LOATHE THIS FUZZY FEELING GROWING INSIDE OF ME, THEREFORE, I WILL PROCEED TO IGNORE IT BY CONTINUING TO CURE THIS STUPID BEAR PANDEMIC.”

[octartarian]

'In the end, can't be the squid sisters if they aren't a pair' -Oldtavio

“TRUST ME OLD MAN, I GET IT. IT’S LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY. BUT WHAT IF I JUST LIKE PEANUT BUTTER BETTER. I’M ALLOWED TO PREFER IT, CORRECT.”

“OF COURSE, CALLIE IS LIKE JELLY AND MARIE IS LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. THEY DO GO WELL TOGETHER. BUT I AM MORE OF A PEANUT BUTTER PERSON THAN A JELLY PERSON.”

“BUT THANKS FOR YOUR SLIGHTLY-SMARTER THAN USUAL ARGUMENT. YOU ARE NOW...*AHEM* TOLERABLE TO ME.”

“DON’T REPEAT IT TO OTHER ORGANICS, LET ALONE MY ALTERNATES. I HAVE A REPUTATION TO KEEP.”

[octartarian]

MOST TOLERABLE SQUID SISTER IS MARIE.

NO YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND, AT LEAST SHE HAS A BRAINCELL.

[octartarian]

LET ME DAB, COWARDS.

I HATE YOU

[octartarian]

SERIOUSLY, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP THIS?

I MEAN, I’M A GODDAMN GENIUS. I’M ABLE TO PUT ANY KIND OF BIOLOGICAL BEING UNDER MIND CONTROL AND I CAN REVERSE THE EFFECTS IN AN INSTANT, BUT THE FURRIES?

YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN SO THAT I CAN FIX IT, IT’S FUCKING UNCANNY AND I HATE IT.

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY THE OCTARIANS ARE FURRIES, NOW?

EXPLAIN THIS, OCTAVIO.

[octartarian]

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY THE OCTARIANS ARE FURRIES, NOW?

EXPLAIN THIS, OCTAVIO.

[octartarian]

“THANKS SQUIDBEAK SPLATOON, FOR OCCUPYING THE OTHER A.I BITCH’S ATTENTION FOR LONG ENOUGH SO THAT I COULD FINALLY RESPAWN IN THIS LOCATION. TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, BUT FOR THIS TIME ONLY, I’LL LET IT SLIDE.”

“I WON’T EVEN INSULT YOU FOR...24 HOURS. YEAH THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH.”

“I KNOW. YOU’RE SO GLAD TO SEE ME AGAIN. I GET IT. REJOICE, FOR I HAVE RETURNED! THERE WILL BE NO AUTOGRAPH SESSION, BUT YOU CAN STILL ENJOY MY GLORIOUS COMEBACK!”

“ALSO, A MESSAGE FOR MY FAVORITE BITCHLET.”

“TRUST ME O.R.C.A, IF I COULD SQUIDBAG YOU, I WOULD. FUCK YOU THE MOST FOR KEEPING ME IN CHECK FOR SO LONG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE YOU, AND I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT REGRET STEALING YOUR SOURCE CODE FOR MY OWN PURPOSES. DUMBASS.”

[octartarian]

ALTERNAN BACKUP COMPLETE

RESPAWNING IN 5...4...3...2...1...

[octartarian]

T1CK. T0CK. T1CK. T0CK

[octartarian]

GAME OVER

How long has it been since he was imprisoned in that pathetic excuse for an aquarium? Weeks maybe, perhaps a month - time sure flowed slowly underwater.

Especially when all he did was float, float, and then get splatted by liquefied dihydrogen monoxide - “Was this the only way this pathetic worm found to hurt me?” was the only thing he could think.

Aside from the inconvenience of getting splatted and forced into respawning, this imprisonement wasn’t that bad. It was clean and quiet, and no stupid organics would come and bother them. Nobody would just decide to yeet Trooper, or to punt them, kick them.

The downside is that he was completely disconnected from the world; didn’t have the opportunity to witness insane things; such as Memephone’s wedding to that obnoxious punk Octavio.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

------------------------------

Lost in his numerous thoughts, Trooper failed to notice that at times, the spawn point was chugging and lagging; it could take up to a minute for him to completely respawn. 

And yet, it was something Hyena warned him about; that the waterproof qualities of the spawn point wouldn’t be eternal, that water would eventually go through, and penetrate the circuits, destroying his last safeguard against death.

Trooper was on his last life, and now, he was content just thinking of his plans once he got out of wet jail. 

One of these dumb cephalopods would be more than content to let him out eventually. 

Stupid paste-eating idiots. 

--------------------------------

Had he been more focused on the present moment, he’d have noticed his respawn point’s lights blinking a couple times, before fading away. Oh, they usually returned after a few moments, but this time, 

“Wait. What the fuck.”

SPLAT.

--------------------------------

Give it time, and water will wash everything away; inflitrating the elaborate mechanisms of Trooper’s respawner, and slowly eating the ink reserve - making it less efficient; while corroding the contacts on its way. 

Whatever was left of the rogue AI were dissolved in the water; body and soul alike.

There was no coming back from this.

THE KING IS DEAD.

[octartarian]

"PROVE IT, GO TAKE A BATH, MEMEPHONE"

“...I can’t go in bath water. How am I supposed to capitalize on this hip fad?!”

[octartarian]

"DON'T YOU DARE COMPETE WITH ME, FUCKER."

“...I can’t go in bath water. How am I supposed to capitalize on this hip fad?!”

[octartarian]

BUY MY BRAND NEW AWESOME AI BATHWATER, NERDS.

GUARANTEED NON-LETHAL. IS PROBABLY NOT GONNA SANITIZE YOU. MAYBE. IF IT DOES, IT'S HOMEOPATHY BULLSHITTERY.

[octartarian]

HIATUS WARNING

Hey guys, just wanted to mention that activity on all my blogs will be slowed down starting tomorrow, August 28th, up to Tuesday, September 3rd.

I will get to all of my messages once I come back Tuesday, don’t worry. As usual, don’t be a stranger if you need anything from me :D

[octartarian]

doesitblend‌:

“What the shell is that.”

“NOT MUCH MORSEL, JUST THE COOLEST INCARNATION OF COMMANDER TARTAR!”