octavian-magister-blog

[octavian-magister-blog]

Take me to a world I've always dreamed of, a place where light defeats the darkness. A world where happiness is pure and wonderful

[octavian-magister-blog]

I love you, Always and Forever

Every time I'm alone i think of her. Everytime i close my eyes i see her. Everytime i dream I'm with her.When i open my eyes i realize she's gone. She's not dead but it feels like she is she says she's not ready for a relationship but she loves me. Sometimes I dont belive that, more often than not. It feels like a piece of me is gone and I dont feel whole, I don't feel like myself. Everytime I talk to her is a fleeting moment of pure joy, my heart beats fast and I get butterflies. But every time she texts me back I'm afraid of what I might read, everytime I go on social media I'm afraid of what I might see. One day I'll lose her completely and I'm not sure im ready to accept that, or maybe I've known all along. I cant tell her how I feel because I'm afraid I might push her away and make my fears a reality. I put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm ok and everything is alright but this fragile shell is cracking and I'm afraid that of what's inside. I'm not suicidal but it feels like I can't breath whenever someone mentions her or I momentarily let my guard down. This past year and a half has been one crazy ride, full of different emotions but at the end of the day I could call her mine. I guess that's selfish of me to want her to myself. All I want is for her to be happy and to be near her, next to her. That's all it took to make me happy, now I don't know what to do.