octoberscrye - Tumblr blog

[octoberscrye]

First meetings (angst-based.)

Requested by anon!

❝Whoa, hey. You alright there?❞

❝Do you need me to call an ambulance?❞

❝Don’t you talk?❞

❝You don’t have to be afraid of me.❞ 

❝Take it easy, you just passed out.❞

❝Take it easy, I think you just had a seizure.❞

❝I already called 911.❞

❝Excuse me? Sorry to bother you, I just feel– like I’m gonna–❞

❝Have you had a bit too much to drink?❞

❝Where’s the nearest hospital?❞

❝Don’t do it.❞

❝You can’t talk me down, I don’t even know you.❞

❝Hey, watch where you’re going!❞

❝I just wanted to say, that was really unfair. What they just said to you.❞

❝Do you have a place to stay tonight?❞

❝You took that hit pretty hard, you gonna be okay?❞

❝You look like you need someone to talk to.❞

❝You look horrible.❞

❝You’ve got blood on your–❞

[octoberscrye]

She couldn't help but laugh. Some things in her life stayed consistent, a soothing constant that she could go back to. If everything fell down around her, she would find his office in the rubble with Jamie inside, hunched over some papers he needed to grade and coffee that went cold three periods ago.

Tobi cringed at the sight of him sipping at said coffee, knowing very well that it couldn't taste that good, but that cringe quickly melted into a smile. She reached for the paper, her eyes quickly scanning the words before she immediately made a disgusted groan.

"What is wrong with these kids?! I am judging, I am judging until my very last breath. Get some taste!" Tobi handed the page back over and flopped into a chair opposite his desk.

"Did you know Fifty Shades is Gerard Way's fault?" She cocked a brow as she manuevered her legs so she was sitting crosslegged on the chair.

"Can't believe we went from national traged to terribly written published fanfic smut," She rolled her eyes and then shifted to roll her shoulders.

"Like, your student just admitted their favorite book is just...bad literary porn. Boo." A disapproving grumble.

"Maybe they're trying to get your attention," A shit eating grin crossed her face. Tobi got up, shuffling some paperwork aside and perching on the edge of his desk, her feet dangling over the side.

"They want you to call them in for some one on one time."

She peered down at him, green eyes alight with a playful gleam. She smirked at him for a moment before she started to cackle, breaking the immersion.

"They probably just wanted to fuck with you, to be honest. That's nobody's favorite book."

Some things sort of just stuck with you, whether you wanted them to or not.

Though it had been months since the masquerade, Jamie couldn't shake the almost-moment he'd had with October. It piled on top of all the other almost-moments they'd had, almost flattening everything else in comparison. What was once something he thought he could shake was now akin to a fever he couldn't sweat out.

The holidays got his mind off of it a little bit. With a monthlong break he could focus on writing his novel for once, watching more movies, getting to those things around the house he'd procrastinated on for far too long. He'd actually made a dent in his writing, too—mostly because he found out it was the only thing he could sink into effectively without being distracted by thoughts of Tobi.

Still, a dent was a dent.

He needed to count small victories these days.

The semester began just a few days before his birthday, though it was the last thing on Jamie's mind. He was in the middle of grading his students' introductory essays—the first thing he always assigned at the beginning of a new semester was a short paper on your favorite piece of media and why you liked it so much—when he heard a knock on the door. He didn't even get a chance to tell her to come in; a second later, he was smiling at Tobi, of all people.

A pang of guilt hit him that they hadn't talked much since before break (and even then, it was intermittent, finals and all preoccupying their time), but the blonde always greeted him like they'd just seen each other yesterday. He liked that about her; he never felt chastised for having a full plate.

"Trust me," he said, pushing his stack of papers aside, "if I was partying, I would've invited you." His own way of saying that he missed her, too.

He took a sip of his now-cold coffee and gestured for her to take a seat across from him. "Oh, I think you're still the reigning champion," he chuckled, picking a paper off the top of his pile and presenting it to her. "This kid's favorite piece of media is Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm not judging, but c'mon."

[octoberscrye]

In a crowd

Being Uncomfortable

“C-can we get out of here..?”

“There’s a lot of people…”

“It’s really crowded, I-I don’t like it…”

“I think I wanna go home now…”

“People keep bumping into me, I hate it.”

“Can I hold your hand..? I-I don’t wanna get lost…”

“Too many people, w-way too many people…”

“I-it’s too loud…”

Noticing Discomfort

“[Name] are you okay?”

“You look a little pale, is it the crowd..?”

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Come on, we’ll go somewhere quieter.”

“Hold onto me.”

“You’ll be okay. I’m right here with you.”

“I have headphones if you need them.”

Lost

“I-I’m lost…”

“No no no, I-I thought they were right behind me..!”

“I can’t find them, I-I– I shouldn’t have run off..!”

“Dammit all, they said they’d follow me..!”

“I-I can’t see my [friends/parents/siblings] anymore..!!”

“Wh-where did I end up..?!”

Seeking

“[Name]? [Name]?!”

“We lost [him/her/them] in the crowd!”

“Gah, there’s too many people– I lost track of [Name]!!”

“[Name] doesn’t do well in crowds, we need to find [him/her/them]!!”

“I told them I’d be right behind them, and now..!”

“Dammit, I told [him/her/them] not to run off!!”

Actions

[GRAB] - Sender grabs hold of receiver in a silent plea to leave.

[GRABBED] - Receiver grabs hold of sender in a silent plea to leave.

[DISTRACTED] - Sender get’s distracted and starts wandering away from receiver.

[DISTRACTEE] - Receiver get’s distracted and starts wandering away from sender.

[SILENCE] - Sender has gone suddenly silent after being overwhelmed in the crowd, receiver notices.

[SILENT] -  Receiver has gone suddenly silent after being overwhelmed in the crowd, sender notices.

[LOST] - Sender has been lost for a few hours in the crowd, and receiver finally finds them upset in a quiet alley.

[FOUND] -  Receiver has been lost for a few hours in the crowd, and sender finally finds them upset in a quiet alley.

[octoberscrye]

The holidays felt like they had swept her up and taken her along without her consent. October managed to fight through her classes without fighting any people, having a breakdown, or her body (completely) giving out, so she called it a win.

However, the masquerade was...less so. It was a wonderful time of dancing and joking about stupid things and admiring outfits, but once more, it felt like the universe was taunting her.

She and Jamie had found a quiet corner so Tobi could breathe. Her back was pressed to the wall as she peered up at Jamie, her cheeks flushed and a smile touching her lips despite her exhaustion. He looked handsome as ever in the lower lighting, his cologne washing out the conflicting smells of people and foods around them. Tobi's gaze was fixed on him, still grinning like a fool. "You look good, but I think you look better in your cranky professor get up," she teased, breathless. He had looked at her, his expression familiar, a mirror of how he'd looked at her back in her apartment before her brother barged in. It didn't matter if she was imagining it or not, because another professor had come to check on them. An evening cut short.

Today was the first day of the new semester, and Tobi had fallen right into old habits. She gently knocked on the door but didn't want for a response, sliding into the small gap between the door and the doorframe and absently using her hip to shut it.

"Old man!" She greeted, grinning wildly as she moved towards him. Tobi leaned forward, resting her palms against the edge of his desk so she peered at Jamie. Her dark green eyes were a mixture of affection and mischief.

"Missed you. How was your winter recess? Don't tell me you partied too hard without me. Can't have that." She smirked, rocking her weight back and forth on her heels.

If anyone asked whether or not she thought about their moment at the dance, she would lie until she hit the grave. That didn't stop her thoughts, and it didn't stop her flushing a little as the thought process hit her. Tobi bit her lower lip.

"First day, any new candidates for favorite student, or do I still hold the title?"

@pacificgrims

[octoberscrye]

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

who else knows you're still alive?

don't tell me i'm the only one that knows.

i never should have believed their lies.

how could you keep this from me?

they lied to you. they knew it would break you if i died.

i staged it all.

there's no way this is happening.

i'm never letting you go.

i promised you i'd never leave you.

but i saw you die! this is impossible!

no. no. this isn't happening. this can't be real.

i watched it. i watched you die and now you're standing here.

how is this even possible?

they might have exaggerated just a bit.

we needed to make it look like i was dead.

you just let me spend all this time thinking you were dead?

did you tell anyone else?

this was your master plan? fake your death, see what happens?

i don't know whether to be pissed or be thrilled to see you again.

i've just seen a ghost.

you saw what they wanted you to see.

you're not real. i must be dreaming.

did you look for me?

funny. i don't remember falling asleep.

you just let us all believe you were dead?

it was the only way to do this. i'm sorry.

when were you going to tell me?

i watched the life leave your eyes...

you kept this from me.

oh my god... no. no no no. this can't be happening.

how did you... how did you even do this?

someone pinch me.

you look pretty good for someone that's supposed to be dead.

i watched you die in my arms.

they told me you died.

i promised you i'd come back.

they lied to me? all this time?

trust me, i wanted to tell you. i really did.

i think i need to sit down.

i'm gonna need some time to process this.

are you real? can i touch you?

what was all this about you dying?

you've kept the truth from me all this time.

had you just told me, i could have helped you.

i begged them to let me tell you, but they said it would ruin our plans.

the blood was fake. i'm all right.

yes, i'm alive! would you please come over here and give me a hug?

i didn't think i'd survive it, either.

i knew you'd come back for me.

we had to make it believable from the start.

there was no other way.

i should have told you.

i tried to get a message out to you.

they said you'd moved on, so i figured i should, too.

i wish i had all the answers for you.

i know you expect me to be okay with this, but things have changed since you died.

[name]... i thought you were dead.

will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?

i'll never leave you again.

i swear on my life, this wasn't supposed to happen this way.

i take it you got my message.

everything got out of hand.

they didn't tell you?

glad you could make it.

i'm sorry i didn't reach out to you sooner.

all of a sudden, you come back into my life.

i'm back and better than ever.

i don't want to hear your excuses.

[octoberscrye]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬: a little assortment of sexual action prompts for rp purposes. remember to tag your usft and suggestive content. do not reblog this meme if you're under 18. add +reverse to swap the roles.

[ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender is asking if they can touch receiver sexually. [ 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐲 ] : sender and receiver are having a steamy makeout session. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are interrupted. [ 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞] : sender removes an article of receiver's clothing. [ 𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 ] : sender and receiver are having sex half-clothed. [ 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 ] : sender plants kisses on undressed receiver's scar/s. [ 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 ] : sender pleasures receiver with their hand/fingers. [ 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 ] : sender pleasures receiver with their mouth. [ 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are having sex for the first time. [ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ] : receiver is having a wet dream about sender. [ 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 ] : receiver is thinking about sender when masturbating. [ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 ] : sender pins receiver down by the wrists during sex. [ 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 ] : sender and receiver are having sex in a public place. [ 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 ] : sender and receiver are having sex to reduce stress. [ 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐬 ] : sender helps receiver to have an orgasm. [ 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 ] : sender and receiver are having sex with no strings attached. [ 𝐫𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 ] : sender and receiver have sex after being apart a long time. [ 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] : sender and receiver are having lazy morning sex. [ 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 ] : sender and receiver are cuddling after sex. [ 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 ] : sender and receiver are trying to conceive.

[octoberscrye]

save rock and roll.  (  fall out boy lyrics.  )

❛  you are a brick tied to me that’s dragging me down.  ❜

❛  doesn’t it feel like our time is running out?  ❜

❛  release the doves, surrender love.  ❜

❛  we are like jack-o-lanterns in july.  ❜

❛  burn everything you love, then burn the ashes.  ❜

❛  my childhood spat back out the monster that you see.  ❜

❛  in the end, everything collides.  ❜

❛  you got room for one more troubled soul?  ❜

❛  i’ll check in tomorrow if i don’t wake up dead.  ❜

❛  invite me in so we can go back and play pretend.  ❜

❛  i don’t believe a word you say but i can’t stop listening.  ❜

❛  my old aches become new again.  ❜

❛  my old friends become exes again.  ❜

❛  i know i expect too much and not enough all at once.  ❜

❛  you know, i only wanted fun and you got me all fucked up on love.  ❜

❛  anything you say can and will be held against you so … only say my name.  ❜

❛  i’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday.  ❜

❛  letting people down is my thing, baby.  ❜

❛  i don’t have the right name or the right looks but i have twice the heart.  ❜

❛  i can’t stop it when there’s chemicals keeping us together.  ❜

❛  if you ask me two’s a whole lot lonelier than one.  ❜

❛  love is just a pyramid scheme.  ❜

❛  we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it.  ❜

❛  i know you said not to call unless i’m dying -  ❜

❛  i just hope when you see me i’m not see-through.  ❜

❛  you were my picket fence.  ❜

❛  i miss missing you now and then.  ❜

❛  i will sing to you every day if it will take away the pain.  ❜

❛  sometimes before it get better, the darkness bigger.  ❜

❛  i wanna see your animal side, let it all out.  ❜

❛  we love a lot so we only lose a little.  ❜

❛  you can wear a crown but you’re no princess.  ❜

❛  we’re gonna die, it’s just a matter of time.  ❜

❛  hard times come, good times go.  ❜

❛  i’m either gone in an instant or here ‘til the bitter end.  ❜

❛  i’ll be your favourite drug, i’ll get you high.  ❜

❛  tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds.  ❜

❛  it’s all over now before it has begun and we’ve already won.  ❜

❛  come on. make it easy. say i never mattered.  ❜

❛  remember me as i was not as i am.  ❜

❛  we’re all fighting growing old.  ❜

❛  you need to lower your standards ‘cause it’s never getting any better than this.  ❜

❛  i cried tears you’ll never see. so fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean.  ❜

❛  you are what you love and not who loves you.  ❜

❛  how’d it get to be only me? like i’m the last damn kid still kicking that still believes.  ❜

❛  i need more dreams and less life.  ❜

❛  i need that dark in a little more light.  ❜

[octoberscrye]

REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️

[octoberscrye]

𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝘿𝙎  &  𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏 𝙎𝙆𝙄𝙉   ,   𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚂𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚈 . (  a collection of not safe for work prompts with a focus on realistic writing rather than highly scripted adult film writing . also consent , because consent is sexy and we don’t see enough of it in sentence starter memes . all prompts are gender neutral .  )

❛  can i touch you there , [ name ] ?  ❜ ❛  fuck , i can’t get enough of you .  ❜ ❛  you look so pretty like this , [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  are you sure ? we can stop if you want .  ❜ ❛  i’ll be gentle , don’t worry .  ❜ ❛  please be gentle with me .  ❜ ❛  god , you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for you , [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  pull my hair , please .  ❜ ❛  do you like it when i do this ?  ❜ ❛  i want you . body and soul . i want it all .  ❜ ❛  can we do it this way ? i want to be able to see your face .  ❜ ❛  careful , love . i don’t want to hurt you . ❜ ❛  tonight is all about you , [ name ] . let me take care of you .  ❜ ❛  look at you … all flushed and wanting , just for me .  ❜ ❛  can we try something new in the bedroom today ?  ❜ ❛  i love you . i love you , [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  take me , please . i want you .  ❜ ❛  we’ll have to put some ice on those bruises / bite marks later , love .  ❜ ❛  do you want to be on top tonight ?  ❜ ❛  can we try switching roles / positions / dynamics tonight ?  ❜ ❛  fuck , [ name ] , you feel so good .  ❜ ❛  here , in our bed , you need only be yourself . i will love you regardless .  ❜ ❛  you are my blessing , [ name ] . let me worship you tonight .  ❜ ❛  i’ve been thinking about this all night .  ❜ ❛  you don’t need to cover yourself here , love . you’re perfect to me .  ❜ ❛  don’t hold back - i want to hear you .  ❜ ❛  tell me what you like , [ name ] . i want to please you .  ❜ ❛  is desk sex off the table ? … pun fully intended , by the way .  ❜ ❛  don’t laugh ! so what , my voice cracked , but at least i was trying to talk dirty !  ❜ ❛  i wish we could stay here forever , and i could feel you in my arms for the rest of our days .  ❜ ❛  i love you . ❜ ❛  no matter what you think of yourself , i will always think you are worth loving .  ❜

[octoberscrye]

For the Sick

For those muses who might not be feeling their best. Companion piece to For The Hungry!

For the Worried

"I'm okay, yeah, don't worry."

"It's just a bit of a cold."

"I've got the sniffles."

"a-choo!"

"Do I really look that bad..?"

"I feel okay. I think."

"I'm gonna be sick."

"I feel dizzy."

"My legs feel all... weird..."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm not hungry.. I don't wanna eat."

"Whoo. Give me a minute?"

"You don't need to take care of me."

"Thanks for being here."

"I just want to lay down."

For the Sick

"Lay down, would ya?"

"You need to rest."

"I can get you some soup."

"You're really warm."

"You're burning up."

"You need water."

"Stop fighting me, I'm trying to help."

"You have a fever. I'm running you a bath."

"Hey, okay, I got you, lean on me."

"It's just me! It's just me!"

"I want to take care of you."

"You're allowed to let me help, y'know."

"You're not going to work tomorrow."

"Rest. That's not a choice."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

[octoberscrye]

My muse has just been grievously injured…. Send me  ‘ l i f t e d ‘   for my muse’s reaction to yours picking them up and carrying them to safety. 

[octoberscrye]

aches and pains … sentence starters

tw for chronic illness / chronic pain and body dysmorphia 

“Shit, it hurts!”

“I’m used to it hurting.”

“It’s nothing. It just hurts, again.”

“I just can’t ever get comfortable.”

“My whole body just feels… wrong.”

“No, it’s normal pain. I’m used to it.”

“I wish these scars would just go away…”

“It hurts too much to stand up, I need to sit.”

“I’m tired of feeling off all the time, that’s all.”

“I think I need a hot shower and some painkillers.”

“It doesn’t even feel like this body is… me, anymore.”

“God, I wish I could be healthy for one day. Just one.”

“No, it doesn’t really hurt today. It’s just uncomfortable.”

It’s a bad day, again. I might need some help getting up.”

“It just feels like there’s something in me that’s not… me.”

“I don’t even remember what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep.”

“What’s it like waking up and NOT always hurting? Must be nice.”

“Man, if I hurt this much already, it’s really gonna suck to get older.”

“I need a hand up. If I start crying, don’t stop, it’s manageable pain.”

“I’m only (age)! I shouldn’t have the aches of a 90 year old woman.”

“I feel like a burden. I wish I was healthy so no one has to look after me.”

“This doesn’t even feel like a body, anymore. It’s just a big ball of pain and ick.”

“It feels like my body’s never… right. Like there’s always something wrong with it.”

“I don’t want to stay in bed, ‘cause my brain’ll tell me I’m lazy. But, it hurts too much to stand up today.”

“I don’t want to have to ask for help. I wish I could just do these things by myself, but my body won’t let me.”

[octoberscrye]

@rubiesintherough

“I keep trying to atone… but, it just never seems to be enough.” ( mahia / corvus )

"And you never will."

His voice was soft, gentle green eyes trained on his calloused hands as Corvus carefully untangled Mahia's hair. There was a pause as he considered his next words.

"You can't atone when there is nothing to forgive, my love." He absently traced one of the scars on her back, ever wary of brushing against her wings.

"You are a beautiful, merciful thing that was cast onto a wretched, merciless world."

Corvus leaned and pressed a gently kiss between her shoulderblades.

"In the early spring, my best friend in middle school told me to look for a robin. Said they were the sign that winter was finally going to be over. So I did, every winter, I looked for that robin. When I thought the long nights and bitter cold was going to last forever, I looked for those robins.

The robins, of course, didn't know any better. They didn't know they were a beacon of hope for a scared, abused kid. They were just doing their best to survive." He smiled as his fingers gently started to pull Mahia's hair into a braid.

"Stop trying to be the canary in the coal mine, and just let yourself be the robin."

[octoberscrye]

PROMPTS FOR CARRYING/BEING CARRIED *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

all right! up you get!

i'm going to carry you, of course.

stop squirming! i'm losing my grip on you!

you're safe in my arms.

can you walk on it?

maybe i need to carry you there.

i don't want to be carried.

no! i can walk just fine by myself!

you're a lot lighter than i expected.

falling asleep in my arms, are we?

how long was i out?

have you been carrying me this whole time?

i don't remember being picked up.

this was your master plan all along, wasn't it.

have i been sleeping this whole time?

no! put me down!

can you at least be a bit more gentle when you lift me?

i could get used to this.

if you need a break, you can set me down.

you pretended to twist your ankle just so i would carry you.

i didn't ask you to carry me.

you're quite handsome at this angle.

if i'm not careful, you'll ask to be carried everywhere.

are you comfortable like this? i can switch arms.

could you put me down?

ow! that hurts when you move like that!

you can put me down right here.

just lay me down over there.

please don't tell anybody you did this.

if they find out i let someone carry me, i'm dead.

well, this is a bit awkward.

you're very warm, you know.

you smell nice.

you can go to sleep if you'd like. it's okay.

let me get you somewhere safe.

oh no. i'm not climbing on your back.

just stay quiet. i've got you.

you look rather beautiful all curled up in my arms.

i don't think i can walk that far.

we will never speak of this arrangement again.

just tell them i hurt my leg.

stop smiling down at me!

apparently my shoulder makes for a good pillow.

would you do me a favor and pick me up?

i'm not sure i can walk all the way.

i appreciate you helping me out in this way.

stop smirking at me. i see you.

no, i don't like this! i'm humiliated!

i won't let anything happen to you here.

do you do this often? twist your ankle just to make someone else carry you?

how about a piggyback ride?

[octoberscrye]

@rubiesintherough

“What happened was horrible, and cruel, and unfair. You’re allowed to be angry.” ( aedus / tobi )

If there was anything October wished for in the world, it was that she could be angry. Maybe if she was angry, it would take away the hurt. If she god mad, if she was so furious that all of the pain disappeared maybe she could get through those awful, miserable nights.

Instead, she was hunched over the table, her head buried against her folded arms. Tobi desperately wanted to be filled with rage, because he was right. It wasn't fair. The cruelty and sick, depraved things she had been subjected to had earned her more than her fair share of rage.

Gods knew that she had spent a good chunk of her childhood leaning into that rage, getting into fights, biting other children, and literally tearing down bedroom doors if they were left closed at night. Lately, though, all she had the strength for was to be tired and sad.

"I don't know if I have it in me, anymore." Her voice shook a little.

"I don't think the fire is there. I spent my childhood burning through so much rage, I don't think there's anything left."

[octoberscrye]

@rubiesintherough

“You think solitude keeps you safe. It doesn’t. It keeps you lonely.” ( bren / corvus )

Corvus sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. He couldn't look at Bren.

He didn't need this.

Bren didn't know his life. Nobody knew his life. The closest person to knowing him, to knowing what was going on in his mind was Tobi, and even she didn't truly understand him. He had fought tooth and nail to survive his childhood, protect what was precious to him, and now just...live in peace.

Loneliness was so quaint and numb compared to the horrors that letting the wrong people into his life could be. Dark green eyes shifted up to glance at Bren, narrowing in thought and agitation.

After a few seconds, he started patting his pockets, seeking cigarettes he knew weren't there. He made an agitated noise, rolled his eyes and unfolded himself from the ball he had subconsciously tucked himself into on the couch.

"Listen, I didn't ask for a fucking therapy session," he grunted, fixing his hoodie as he stood up.

"And if there's one person who knows how to keep me safe, it's me, okay? It's kept me safe, kept October safe, and it works. I don't need to be happy, I don't need to be stable, fuck, I just need to be here."

[octoberscrye]

@rubiesintherough

“I’ll keep you safe… the way they should have.” ( bren / tobi )

October made a show of being as independent as she could. Anyone who wasn't in her direct circle likely fell for it, too. She would force a smile until she couldn't hold her head upright, disguise any grief with every bit of energy she had, and bite her tongue if she had to.

Bren, unfortunately, got to see her in her most intimate moments. He was there when she didn't have the energy to mask. He witnessed the nights, the tired mornings, and the long travelling days that wore her out until she couldn't pretend anymore.

It was another night where October fought with herself, which left her curled up in a heap on the bathroom floor, all tears and shaking limbs when he knocked on the door. She didn't want to need anyone.

Maybe if he was anyone else, she could have lashed out and told him how to shove it up his ass.

But he was Bren. He never judged her. In fact, he spoke of her fears like it was completely normal. He would help her off the floor when her legs gave out, and instead of admonishing her, just check for bruises before asking where she was thinking of going for dinner.

Bren made her feel safe, but never judged.

Maybe that is why she felt safe enough to just sit and sob.

"You shouldn't have to. Nobody should have to. But they fucked me up, and now I'm too broken, and nobody wants broken things."