octogramsmiles - Tumblr blog

[octogramsmiles]

The birds from above know I am nothing more than a meal for the woods. My flesh shall be devoured before it can rot. My brains will be emptied into the river. My soul will be ground by the tide.

[octogramsmiles]

Chipped nail polish and keys between my knuckles and pressure in my head and bugs in my back and the wind and breeze and cool air on a summer day and the gentle tide of the river and the sand under my feet and the coolness that shakes me to my core and the hot sweat down my face and the mud clinging to my legs and the blood dripping down my arm and the gentle hum of the computer and the burning smile and the eyes that see right through me. I will be at peace I will be at peace I will be at peace

[octogramsmiles]

I can see them all around me. The warm and welcoming summer breeze cuts deeper deeper into my bones. I see them. They shall guide me. I shall be at peace.

[octogramsmiles]

My friends are busy. My gf is busy. I just self harmed so much!!! Wow this is so so fun! This makes me so so happy! I'm not gonna kms but I am gonna think about it a lot.

Im allowed to 😇

[octogramsmiles]

My toxic trait is believing I'll be able to pull the trigger a second time like BLAP BLAP. nah bitch you'll be dead after the first 🙄

My otp is my brains and a 9mm round 😇

[octogramsmiles]

My otp is my brains and a 9mm round 😇

[octogramsmiles]

*when 😇

Very funny to consider that if I do kill myself there is a 90% chance that YouTube will be playing music in the background

[octogramsmiles]

hey howq's it going if you're reading this stop by and say hiiiiiiiiiiiii i promise i'm not scary or anything i promise im so so oka y and not scary at all, okay? Love you love you love you love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 < 3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 < 3< 3< 3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3

okayyyyyy byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee love you <3

[octogramsmiles]

if you know who i am no you dont no you dont no you dont no you dont no you dont no you dont

[octogramsmiles]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy vision blurry and tunnel vision and headache and pyantom senses and number and number and numvbers and number and numbers and numbers and numbers heyyyyyyyyy you're so cool you're so good you can kill you can kill you are unstopable you are invincible you are unstoppable it's okay it's okay you are so so strong your wrteched flesh is just a casing on your mind and you are so strong and if you die then you die and if you die then you die and if you die the nyou die hello hello hello hi hello hi hello hello hello helllo hello heell o hei hi hio hi hi hi hi hello hi hi hellow hello hello hi hi hi hello hello hi hi hi hello hello hello hello hi hi hi hello hi hello hi hi hello hi hello hi hell o hello hello hi hi hi hi hi hello hello hello hello hi hey hello hi hey hi hi hi hello hey hi hey hi hey hello hi hi hi hi

[octogramsmiles]

5735735537555473325357357333573511531115311521112233357533575515335795135735735735735735553337775437537357555735753335575533557753357775555555555333333333355553355725473354753573573573573573555576644254124558547455448754551122235459786812257325515568477617775545122123245488466765735735735515335733573357573573333357357333573557355735555735753477755357323573573253357

[octogramsmiles]

Nah joke's on you I have adblock

Very funny to consider that if I do kill myself there is a 90% chance that YouTube will be playing music in the background

[octogramsmiles]

Like one sec I'm about to commit lemme watch this 15 second ad

Very funny to consider that if I do kill myself there is a 90% chance that YouTube will be playing music in the background

[octogramsmiles]

Very funny to consider that if I do kill myself there is a 90% chance that YouTube will be playing music in the background

[octogramsmiles]

: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

[octogramsmiles]

I want to cut so many cute stars into my arms and legs and tummy and chest. I wanna smell blood again over and over and over. I wanna see see see see see hello hello hi hello hello hello see hello hello hello hello see hello

The orange light o wanna break it it's hurting me it's a young me the metal the metal fuck on my foot it hurts the metal the light fick the light I hate it. My vision is so narrow like I can only see one inch diameter and I can hear every fucking thing I'm not going to kill myself but I wish I wish I wish I could crush my body. I can't deal with these emotions I can't there are people ficking watching me and they are getting closer and. They are watching me and I need to be ready they are watching me and they're gonna take me and I gotta be ready before they get here they're coming theyre coming they're ccomingt why can't I see why cant I see there is haze there is a fucking fucking filetsr a duckong filter a fucking filter a fucking filter ha ha ha ha ha ha set it all the fuck on fire ha ha ha ha ha it's so over fuck you fuck you fuck you I wanna cut o wanna cut fuxk you i hate you so much I wanna cut so bad fuckkkk its so over I xanr do this its so over I xant i cant fuck fuck fuck

[octogramsmiles]

ow ow ow fuck why did I do that to myself

hey sweetie I'm just like you now

Hey you remember the cold basement floor

and the dark lights

aand hte little flame in your hand as you singed the blade

and the markings up and side and across and side and down and on and on until the mark was carved into your flesh

And you remember the tug fo flesh as you pulled the knife across the open wounds

criss cross on the skin, getting stuck in the flap of flesh and making you wince

It didn't hurt as bas as you thought

if you weren't a coward you would have cut deeper

till your little belly was ready to burst out of the gashes

But you insisted on thin cuts methodical cerminoical symbolic of the stranglehold she had over you

how old were you, do you remember?

HOW FUCKING OLD WERE YOU

I'm so fucking glad they touched me. I'm so fucking happy to be this broken. I can see them watching me wherever I go. You set me up. YOU fucking made me like this. Thank you. Thank you. Your singeing scalding burning hands follow me every fucking step I take and I just KNOW KNOW KNOW YOU DON"T EVEN REALIZE IT. YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BADLY YOU FUCKED ME UP

FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD. FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD. FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU oh good lord thank you for fucking ruining me so young the loud clap of leather and the blood and the threats and the fucking pleading and the terror that at any moment it all goes away. I know I know I know you fucking saw right through me I fucking know you could see into me see my miserable evil soul see that I was going to fucking hell to burn and suffer forever.

And when I cry and cry and cry to the priest that I'm a tainted sinner with a body fucking ruined he fucking feels me up and tells me he can make it okay. thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU FUCKING 1 INCH THICK WALLS OF PLASTER BETWEEN ME AND MY CLASSMATES TO FUCKING SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING THANK YOU THANK YOU

eht fucking blood dripping down my leg right now. its for you its for you for you that did this to me for you that broke me for me and you and everyone else my warm wretched intoxicating blood is for all to enjoy, splattered on cool tile or asphault or sharp rocks in the woods

I know it's coming. I know it's close. I CAN SEE IT COMING I CAN SEE IT COMING I CAN SEE IT COMING I CAN SEE IF FUCIKING COMING ITS COMING FOR ME AND I FUCKING KNOW IT ITS COMING AND I"LL BE READ Y FUCKING READY TO RFIGHT AND DIE AND BURN AND SUFFER AND ILL FIGHT AND ILL BURN AND ILL DIE AND ILL SUFFER I KNOW ITS ALMOST HERE I JUST KNOW IT I KNOW IT I SEE YOU I SEE YOU I SEE YOU I SEE YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU I SEE YOU I KNOW YOURE THERE YOU FUCKING REASE ME HEN IM LIKE THIS AND I FUCKING JUST KNOW JUST KNOW JUST KNOW YOURE WAITING FOR ME TO LOOK AWAY WAITING FOR ME TO MESS U P WAITING TO FUCKING WRAP THOSE FINGERS AROUND MY FSTUPID FUCKING THROAT AND KILL ME

: ) : ) :) :) HI HEY HELLO HI HEY HI HEY hell o hi hey hello hi hey hellow ha ha ha hope you'fre fucking happy you freak i know exaclty how much this hurts but it's exactly what you deserve awalys tryng to blame this shit on other people its so easy isn't it going though life guilt free oh the touched me oh they hurt me oh they showed me stuff they shouldnt good good good good fucking grow up and stand up and liten to yourself right now you bleeding whining stupid whore yourte the fucking wretch youre the fucking pervert youre the fucking miserable child who never outgrew her fucking delusions hello hello hello hi hi hello youre happy arent you fucker this makes you happe smile for me fucker smile so so wide smile for me fucker smile for me so wide youre so happy so so so happy~~~ so happy ~~~~~~~ you just know it ~~~~~~ so fucking happy hello hi hello hi you're so you you toy you yo u oyu oyou ooyou uoouoyuoytouytruotyr o