oddepoch

[oddepoch]

*walks up to you*

*starts loudly choking*

*grabs your hand and coughs these into it*

*is gone before you look back up*

[oddepoch]

whole foods employee catches me stealing valuable artichoke water and tries to apprehend me but i quickly jump through one of his gauges and escape

[oddepoch]

whatever. Ten thousand vampire bats

[oddepoch]

It's the cruel beast that you feed It's your burning yearning need to bleed Through the spillways Through the spillways of your soul

Ghost – Spillways

after 7 years of non drawing I returned to post this art piece and now going back to design

[oddepoch]

[oddepoch]

[oddepoch]

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

[oddepoch]

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

[oddepoch]

[oddepoch]

the holy grail types of fanfic

[oddepoch]

Fun thing about football right now is that there's a move called the "brotherly shove" that the Eagles do when they're very close to scoring, where the whole team puts their hands on the ass of the guy with the ball and physically propels him over the line into the endzone for the touchdown, and all the other teams' fans hate it because it's got such a ridiculously high rate of success for the Eagles and doesn't really seem to work for any other team. People are straight-up calling for this move to be banned, claiming it's "unstoppable" and gives an "unfair advantage" but it really and truly is a skill issue. The whole league hates this move because it only makes the Eagles win more often and nobody else can figure out how to do it right

[oddepoch]

while im talking bad fanfic lubes: rosin is only used with bowed string instruments, not plucked ones! it goes on the bow hairs to make them grip the strings better! most importantly, it comes in a SOLID CAKE and is STICKY. it's literally the opposite of lube. and jaskier thewitcher wouldn't be carrying it around anyway, because he plays THE LUTE

[oddepoch]

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

[oddepoch]

fear me

[oddepoch]

perhaps ripping this one little piece of skin off my lips will at last render them plump and moisturized

[oddepoch]

[oddepoch]

my mom’s books, my wine 📚