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they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

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I've been realizing how much my conception of various personal relationships and certain types of boundaries are determined by other people, not in the sense that I don't know what I am or want, but in the sense of "you are using a scale/categorization schema that I'm very disconnected from, so I feel how I feel and you get to put me wherever is most comfortable for you."

Like, is this relationship platonic or romantic? It's not really a meaningful distinction for me, but it's usually a VERY important distinction for other people, so they get to make the call. (My first marriage was romantic and my second is platonic and the love feels exactly the same to me)

It's similar when it comes to physical affection. I don't want sex, but if you take that off the table (and start viewing other acts of physical intimacy on their own terms instead of as stepping stones with an end goal of sex) I'm pretty indiscriminate and other people probably have a much stronger personal sense of what is desired/appropriate than I do. Nothing feels especially marked or hierarchical to me, but I still have to navigate that some things are much more societally loaded than others. Really I just want to live in a fantasy setting where I can soulbond with all my best friends but sadly that isn't an option irl so the closest substitute is as much physical affection as possible of whatever kind people are happy to give me.

Honestly gender is kind of the same: my internal sense of gender is "null," but I'm going to get gendered by existing in the world and that doesn't really bother me (my experiences are not universal and this bothers some agender people a great deal, obviously), but it's something that people do for their own comfort & understanding rather than reflecting any kind of meaningful truth.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but like. It's interesting. For a while I was very hung up on the idea that if a category or feeling was real/important to other people I had to figure out some way to make it real for me as well, and I'm glad I've chilled out and stopped tying myself into knots about it. And simultaneously, sometimes when you hit a point of "this isn't real to me" it can be tempting to swerve into "this isn't real, full stop" which is also not great because other people's experiences are important too. You gotta be dialectical about it, I guess. Sometimes a concept is real when someone you care about needs it to be and otherwise it isn't, and that's fine.

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I think being autistic has made me realize how extremely hostile the environments we have designed are. And I don't mean "this environment is uniquely hostile to me because I am autistic" I mean that even normies are just existing in brutal, stagnant spaces, they have just internalized them as normal. We could have it all, we could live in such a beautiful and fascinating world, designed by humans and for humans who actually enjoy life and it's complexity and wonder. but even now it's like, seen as kinda hippy-dippy bullshit to have "excessive" indoor plants in a workspace or something

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YOU play video games to feel powerful. I play video games to feel new, previously undiscovered shades of grief and sadness. we are NOT the same.

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"live every day like it's your last": scary. weirdly foreboding. not a good thought process if you get anxious easily. stressful. so much pressure that it loops back around to making you do nothing. "live every day like it's your FIRST": everything becomes fascinating. renews the excitement of discovering things for the first time again. makes you feel like exploring stuff. #mywisdom

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emily dunlap

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just can't stop thinking about how different grizzop's choice could have been if the cult hadn't taken vesseek but instead took one of the clutch

because grizzop swore an oath to his god and he knows his partner can handle themself, but he made an oath to the clutch when he adopted them, and they're just children, and he's meant to be their father!

and azu and hamid come racing down the stairs and grizzop is shoving adamantine into moving parts of the factory, and he's got to keep moving because there's a job to do there's a task to finish-

-and azu comes up to him, giant hand on his small shoulder. "they have our family. they have a baby goblin. grizzop, are you a father?"

and it hits so hard because he was expecting them to take vesseek! anyone who knows grizzop knows vesseek is the most important person to him, hardly anyone even knows about their clutch! but azu's eyes are round and her hand is trembling, only slightly, and he knows he underestimated them.

"who?" he asks before he can stop himself, but azu didn't know about the clutch, let alone who each of them are. there's one of his children, kidnapped and scared, and he doesn't even know which one.

grizzop made a promise to artemis that he'd finish this hunt and save as many people as possible- and the stake right now is most of the entire world. but he made a promise, too, to six orphaned goblins without a chance in the world, and it's because of him and that promise that one of them has been taken and used against him.

he's gonna have to break one of those promises

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The men who are doing "walking challenges" around the world make me so mad. Oh you're casually walking through Iran and Afghanistan and Azerbajdzjan and whatever. Oh the people are so nice? Oh you're happily sharing a room with 3 other male strangers? Oh you got picked up by a nice group of friends who drove you for a couple hours to your next stop with no incident? Fuck you

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huh it is weird how purple is so often used in video games for stuff like corruption or dark magic or whatever

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The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.

-James Baldwin

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(Most of) the dragons in How to Train Your Dragon Live Spectacular.

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do kids these days even know what endless 8 is

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hey guys sorry i’m late my sword had a breakdown on the way here

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Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

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Flopped down on the floor next to one of the cats and he was like so surprised like woah you do that too that’s so crazy that we can do things that the other does. I’m gonna try to use your phone now why is my furious swiping not making the buttons work

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i'm just so exhausted by the alienating and infantilizing of autistic people. it's to the point that when ppl find out i'm autistic i DREAD them telling me they have an autistic relative because they almost always immediately overshare about that relative's personal life to me for no reason whatsoever.

i'll say i'm autistic and someone i barely know will be like "omg! my cousin is autistic! he's nothing like you though. he doesn't talk and he has meltdowns all the time. if he gets really overwhelmed sometimes he bangs his head on walls."

like ok 1. consider i'm not always verbal and i also have meltdowns but that's neither here nor there.

imagine if i told you i have a cousin [allistic] and you said "omg! i have a cousin too! [allistic]" I bet you would either end there or tell me something fun about her like a hobby she has or where she goes to school. I bet you wouldn't tell me how she acts when she's completely overwhelmed and having a terrible day. I bet you wouldn't tell me, within 5 minutes of meeting me, that when your allistic cousin failed a big exam she cried until she threw up and got a migraine.

because that would be weird for me and invasive for your cousin. so you wouldn't say that, if she's not autistic. you respect her privacy, because she's not autistic.

i swear a lot of y'all talk about your autistic siblings/kids/nieces/etc. like they're family pets