ofamin-a

[ofamin-a]

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐉𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄   ...

he could barely believe his ears . he was sure that avi’s phone had just been damaged in the fall , that the speakers were busted and he was making up what the other had been saying , because there was no way they were seriously suggesting that , right ?? it seemed insane , to think that flirting back would fix the genuine mistake ; at least , it had been genuine his end . by avi’s bright idea he was unsure whether his best friend had orchestrated the whole thing just to fish for a few extra compliments . “ there’s no way i’m flirting with you back . i don’t think you understand – my girlfriend is fit to burst and we explode whenever we attempt to discuss what we’re having for dinner . if juni found out that i was flirting with you back – “ well , the outcome was something he’d rather not think about . a hand was thrown to the sky in defeat , although such a movement didn’t translate quite so well through the audio capacity of a phone .  “ – can i owe you a flirt ?? i’ll pay you back once our kid is out and juni is back to not wanting to kill me every five minutes . “ 

AVI CAN FEEL THE METAPHORICAL HIVES slap them on the neck when jaden mentions juniper again. the distaste that follows only serving to light a fire under their ass when they say,  ❛ do i look like the type someone puts a RAIN CHECK on? ❜  this question rhetorical & not meant for jaden to answer outright,  ❛ you either flirt with me now or you flirt with me never, and the NEVER comes with a lot more drawbacks than benefits, okay? what juni doesn’t know won’t hurt the baby. ❜  god, even THAT TERM comes out sour & just a tad bitter, avi’s nose upturning from even having to let a word like ‘baby’ fall from their mouth in the least sexual way hey can use it. the DISTANT WINE AUNT PERSONA they’re choosing to adopt once jaden’s baby is born coming to life sooner rather than later, it seems.  ❛ i can list TWO THINGS off the top of my head, right now, what’ll be lost if you decide not to indulge me for one minute. one minute, jj. like — the christmas present i most totally bought you already? ❜  they most totally haven’t bought shit,  ❛ it won’t see the light of day. it’s gonna be TRAPPED IN A CLOSET for one too many music videos. ❜

[ofamin-a]

if you could kiss anyone from roswell under the mistletoe, who would it be?

❛ WHY NOT THAT GUY JEFF you were going on about earlier? so long as he has lips, a body, and a decent hairline, i'm not opposed to kissing strangers. ❜

[ofamin-a]

you and emilia used to be friends?

❛ EMILIA? my long lost bitch? ❜  their hand flies to their chest.  ❛ if we were, no one told me. i’m sure i’d be a GREAT ONE if she ever decides she wants to be less ... beneath me. ❜

[ofamin-a]

have you got your eye on anyone?

───   ☆    *     ANSWERED   !

“ i think the fact that me and avi promised that , if we were both single by forty , we’d pair up tells you all you need to know about how my love life has been going as of late . do you really think i’d settle for them if i had any other prospects ?? no offense , av -- i love you really -- but , please .  “

@ofamin 

[ofamin-a]

are you worried that you not getting along with avi may strain things with cyrus?

“Please, god, don’t make me get more anxious about that than I’ve already been. I’ve been a little worried; but I feel like it’s worth noting that Avi was a massive dick about our relationship, which is a really shitty thing to do to someone you call your friend, so... I have that keeping me going.”

[ofamin-a]

who are the people that caught your eye in roswell?

❛ LET’S BE HONEST, the list would be longer if i asked who're the people i've caught the eye of. so, ❜  they gesture vaguely toward the room,   ❛ who wants to admit it first? ❜

[ofamin-a]

do you think you could ever feel anything for someone here?

❛ LISTEN, i felt a lot of something on someone last night, ❜  they suggest, wiggling their brows to highlight the innuendo. though their shoulders eventually slump when they remember the rest of the story,  ❛ that ended in them breaking out into sobs over their ex, however, and i unfortunately didn’t have a broom nearby to pat their back from a distance ... so i had to be reasonable: i gave them a thumbs up & left. it was truly the LEAST I COULD DO. ❜

[ofamin-a]

what’s the deal with you and zef?

THEY BLINK.  ❛ i'm sorry, did you say jeff? ❜  a pause as they pretend to ponder.  ❛ no, i don't think i know who that is. ❜

[ofamin-a]

top or bottom?

❛ HMM, I USUALLY START OUT WITH putting bottoms on, first, and then tops, second, ❜  they muse, knowing that's not what the question is asking,  ❛ but if the morning after is already at my apartment, i'm not ashamed to say i forgo both. ❜

[ofamin-a]

now.. did you call jaden and flirt with him on purpose? c'mon, be honest.

MAYBE THEY WANT TO START DRAMA. maybe they hope juni is around to hear. maybe they’re bored & they might as well make things interesting.  ❛ god, yes — have you heard the poor bastard? always going on & on about how juni’s about to bust a gut, while he’s over in the corner busting in his hand, ❜  avi explains nonchalantly, lying out of their ass, but hardly noticeable if you’re not paying attention,  ❛ as one of his best friends, i did the VERY SELFLESS DEED of offering to help him ... if you know what i mean. it’s definitely a story to tell at our friendsmas this year, wouldn’t you say? ❜

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐀𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍   ...

ALI’S TAKING THE WOMAN’S LACK OF RESPONSE AS A GOOD THING, a small smile on his lips that grows astronomically as she only continues to prove his point. who you’re looking for isn’t here. it probably comes off as rude, but he’s laughing halfway through her sentence, nearly doubling over as he holds onto his stomach.   “ that’s what i’m talking about ! ”   he whoops, earning a glare from the receptionist, but ali doesn’t notice.   “ pay up, man. whoever you met was clearly messing with you. thank you for your help, ma’am. ”   that part was directed towards the woman, obviously, with a deep nod to go with it.

THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER IS NOTHING BUT grating to avi’s ear, annoyance in the form of an eye roll soon meeting their expression before they’re waving ali off with the flap of their hand. not about to take this loss so soon — not when avi has one last thing to prove.  ❛ ACTUALLY, we’re not done here, ❜  they excuse, turning back to the receptionist who looks as though she doesn’t get paid enough to deal with this,  ❛ you say i’m 14 years fashionably late, but as far as i’m concerned, that always means i’m RIGHT ON TIME. so — can you tell me the name of roswell’s late mayor ... margie? ❜  avi reads her nametag,  ❛ perhaps the man i met is still living off his glory days of when his dad was LARGE & IN CHARGE. ❜

the receptionist provides a long drawn out sigh.  ❛ dennis berger. if you want to know more history, the next tour of town hall is in two hours. ❜  which means avi should stop asking her questions — and luckily they do. instead, whipping their head around to face ali again, a knowing smile spread across their lips.

❛ wanna bet dennis berger’s son is who i was referring to ALL ALONG? ❜

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐑𝐀   ...

“ YOU SOUND LIKE A CATHOLIC VIRGIN :   saving your charm for the right person doesn’t make it any more special, avi. ”   she’s getting tired of this conversation, the back-and-forth far too much effort to waste on someone not worthy of her time, but it’s their use of the word APOLOGIZE that lights a fuse in her chest.   “ i have nothing to apologize for, ”   emilia snaps,   “ but of course you wouldn’t realize that, because god forbid you realize you did anything fucking wrong. one of these days you’re gonna get your head out of your own ass and realize all your fuckups, and i won’t be around anymore to say i-told-you-so. ”

A CATHOLIC VIRGIN? WELL, HAIL MARY THEN. the insult garnering a roll of avi’s eyes as they grow tired of holding their phone to their ear, wishing emilia would just cave & hang up on them by now. though — unfortunate, really — when the other brunette adds more FUEL TO THE FIRE, avi realizes that’s far from the case.  ❛ emi, honey, the only thing that’s been up my ass lately is a sexual experience that had me screaming ‘harder’, ‘faster’, & ‘don’t you dare stop’, ❜  they argue without missing a beat,  ❛ if you really want to keep pointing the middle finger, i have one to point right back, alright? it’s newly manicured, too. unlike your ability to take into account that if you REALLY wanted to make it to that interview, you would’ve gotten there — WITH OR WITHOUT ME. ❜

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋   ...

NOW THAT GOT THEIR ATTENTION. It’s a conscious effort for Asher to suppress the chuckle that comes out of his lips at the obvious curiosity and investment the other showed and how fast they seemed to move on from the previous rant. “I’m a photographer, yeah,” he confirms with a nod and chuckling at their words. “Sure thing, it’d be great to have it.” Of course, Asher’s on the lookout for more opportunities to expand his freelance work, seeing where his interest is captured. He takes their hand, giving it a shake. “You have your own shop or something? How does your business go?” Of course, inquiring more is only part of the process. He’ll naturally inquire about their Instagram account next, because there’s no way a model doesn’t have that and doesn’t put effort into it. “I’m Asher Campbell.”

AVI’S SELF-ASSURANCE SPARKS WITHIN THEM once the other’s hand meets theirs, shaking on what avi now considers a NEW BEGINNING.  ❛ avi amin, ❜  they greet in return,  ❛ and if by shop, you mean storefront, then no. my work is more FREELANCE than boutique. ❜  as in they work out of their living room, which has more sticky notes scattered around than finished projects.  ❛ i have a website with information on how to contact me if you want something commissioned. though the ways i’ve gained PROMINENT EXPOSURE is through social media & word of mouth, ❜  and then as a quick add on,  ❛ one can say i’m my own manager, agent, stage-mom, and financial advisor, so rest assured — i know what i’m doing. ❜

[ofamin-a]

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐄𝐃𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒   ...

“please tell me you’re not having that FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.” barbie can’t stop it from slipping out. that combination seemed like the fastest way to a heart attack. the waiter comes back to check on her and she places an order of fries and the milkshake avi described. “that’s true. i always keep my freezer stocked with ice cream.” if she was going to have a sweet tooth, it was going to be for ice cream. “i just hope i don’t regret it in a few hours. too much and i know my stomach will hurt.”

❛ IT’S CALLED A MUNCHIE CURE, not hangover. so i’d be eating it midday ... or five a.m. at the latest, ❜  avi excuses with a shrug, brushing off any further judgement when they’re greeted by the waiter. eventually ordering a milkshake for themself before they’re turning back to their opposing company. head tilting slightly.  ❛ oh, you’ll regret it, honey. FRIED FOOD & DAIRY? the perfect combination for a digestive disaster. ❜  though,  ❛ it’s worth it to me because i have a VERY FAST metabolism. it’s a gift, really. ❜  which is another way of saying ‘i’m a gift‘.

[ofamin-a]

❛❛   𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓   ...

and  eyes  instinctively  roll  .   avi’s  theatrics  is  something  that  used  to  be  familiar  with  .   hell  ,  matty  enjoyed  it  .   now  ?   he  thinks  it’s  just  too  much  ,   but  he’ll  play  along  .   “  it’s  either  this  or  a  knife  fight  and  whoever  wins  is  in  the  right  .  ”   he  jokes  .   but  in  all  honesty  ,  he  still  thinks  he  is  right  .   avi’s  too  messy  and  …   well  .   matty  needed  to  have  a  good  ,  responsible  appearance  if  a  fight  for  custody  of  his  daughters  ever  took  place  .   “  but  i’ll  buy  you  a  drink  if  it  helps  .  ” 

CONFUSION PAIRED WITH JUDGEMENT sooner crosses avi’s expression when matty says what he says. not sure where the sadistic humor’s come from, but avi takes it as matty admitting that he’s stabbed them in the back all those years ago. OR WAS IT A YEAR? avi can’t remember.  ❛ it’s cute that you think buying me a drink would help me decide if i want to burn the olive branch or cut it with a knife, ❜  they muse,  ❛ but strangely enough, i think i’ll have to pass. on the free drink, that is. because ALL OF THIS — ❜  avi gestures to all of matty,  ❛ still isn’t doing it for me. ❜