ofdelinquency-blog

[ofdelinquency-blog]

Today has been a very long, negative day from start to finish. I apologize for my inactivity lately, but life seems to be throwing things at me without mercy. I want nothing more than to write but with the plethora of bad news, I’m finding it very difficult. My heart feels so heavy right now that it hurts and it’s hard to find muse. I’m sorry.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

        he’s gonna join Isu.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    THERE was a pause in Nishinoya’s actions, a minor shift of seating punctuated by silence. A cognac gaze flicked to the lollipop, taking it between his fingers with an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Sug-” He stopped, not having expected such a heartfelt statement. Sugawara could see through him ( everyone probably could seeing as how Nishinoya was an awful liar ) and it bloomed unease.

   “YOU work so late, is that really good for ya’?” It was clear, he was avoiding the topic. At least he WAS until it dawned on him that his friend was sitting here at three in the morning because he cares. Yuu owes him at least some explanation. 

   “MY mom is gone for the next four days- my house just felt too empty.” He hates being alone.

       Suga didn’t like the sound of it. of any of it. With a sigh, he sat down next to Noya, placing the bags between his knees as he stretched his legs before him. It was quiet, the hour meeting most people inside the warmth and comfort of their own abodes. ‘You shouldn’t underestimate me, Nishinoya,’ he said softly, looking up at the dark sky. There were no stars.

       ‘I just got off work. I was on my way back home and had some shopping left to do.’ He leaned down and pulled out a soda-flavoured ice lolly. ‘Here. My little sister is teething and she likes to chew on those for relief… Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, okay? You know I’ll always be here, Noya. Always.’

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    NOYA blinked, fatigue weighing his lids until a sweetly familiar voice gave him enough energy to look up. Dark eyes gaze tiredly at his friend, only for a moment before shifting away slightly. “’m fine, I just wanted to be outside.” It wasn’t a lie, but it certainly wasn’t the full truth. 

    THE full truth made him look like a coward, ( in his mind at least ) . “Why’re you shopping in the middle of the night?”

       The weight of the shopping bags in his hands slows him down enough for him to try to appreciate the quietude of the streets around him. The figure sitting not far from him catches his attention. Making his way over, he gently kicks Noya’s shoe, his brows furrowing as he looks down, worry marring his features.

       ‘Noya? What are you doing out here at this hour? It’s pretty late, is everything alright?’

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    IS sitting at the park, ( it’s three A.M., in the morning ) . The rain stopped an hour ago, but the sounds of droplets from the leaves on metal made his eyes droop lazily. Maybe he’ll just sleep here tonight.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

ouzokuu replied to your post:ouzokuu replied to your post “mattzun replied to...

always.

   GRAB your coat, I’m taking you for ice cream.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

ouzokuu replied to your post “mattzun replied to your post “    UHM? ” he got a badonk    ...”

have my vote.

    SUCH A GOOD KOHAI!

[ofdelinquency-blog]

mattzun replied to your post “    UHM? ”

he got a badonk

    MATSUKAWA knows what’s up.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    UHM? 

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    SO this was anxiety, this was insecurity- of course, Nishinoya had felt these things before, ( about his height, about how his actions affect his mother, about his grades ) but never like this. This was crippling, making his bones feel as though they were made of liquid metal. This is what Asahi felt all the time, something Noya had only made worse for him.

   “NO, I should apologize- ‘specially if this,” the hand at his heart pressed more firmly to his chest, as if the pressure could stop the pain. It didn’t, of course, but it was worth a try. The younger didn’t finish his sentence, just stared at the floor as though some deity would come to be his salvation from this ache. 

   “YOU can yell at me, too. I yell’a lot anyway so ‘s not a big deal.” It was a huge deal, the first time they argued Nishinoya felt RIGHT. He had felt that his reasoning was solid, it had been, but now- now was different. Now he’d just imposed ( burdened even ) and that wasn’t acceptable. 

   “MAYBE- I should-” What was he going to say? Was he going to leave? “I’ll think more, from now on, about what- about the things I say and do. I’ll try to- keep to myself more.” Yuu genuinely meant these words despite the looming threat of ADHD at his back. The younger would TRY.

The quiet words caused the irritation that had bubbled up to dissipate almost instantly, the realization that he’d allowed himself to snap at Noya like that-

He wasn’t the type of person who got angry, not at other people, anyway. Never blamed anyone for anything, it was always himself, that was how Asahi operated-and Noya meant well, of course he did, he’d always meant well in his teasing, in the way he pushed him, and he knew that.

He curled his fingers, feeling the nails digging into his palms just slightly as he tried to figure out what to say, tried to figure out how to fix this without making it worse.

(He was very good at that, it seemed, making things worse)

“I’m just…it’s not…I shouldn’t have…” He let out a rather frustrated groan, pressing his face into his hands instead, trying to force his voice to steady. “Don’t apologize, Noya. Please.”

[ofdelinquency-blog]

@effodiiunt

He can’t even remember what started this, it was probably something stupid, some offhand comment the other boy had made that exploded into…well, this.

And he hated it, honestly, he didn’t want to be upset with Noya, didn’t want to push him to the point of shouting at him (again, his mind helpfully supplied) and yet somehow the words had just kept coming, the frustration pouring out almost too quickly to stop.

“I didn’t ask for anything-!” And he hadn’t, and maybe that was more of aproblem than a reassurance, maybe he should’ve asked for more. “I don’t want anything from you, when have I ever asked for anything from you?”

(   MISTAKES-   )

 (  MISTAKES-  )

  ( MISTAKES. )

    THAT’S the only coherent word that ran through his mind at this point. It was an acceptance of a reality that Nishinoya, Yuu never allowed himself to acknowledge. Yuu makes a lot of mistakes- in school, with his family, with his friends. Now that the reality had been shown to the libero, all of his actions began to play back to him. 

    THERE was a long silence after Asahi spoke because he was RIGHT. Really, Nishinoya should have left the older boy alone a long time ago because CLEARLY he wasn’t needed or wanted. The second year didn’t panic often, anxiety wasn’t a huge part of his life ( reserved only for when his family paid a visit generally ) but it was present at this moment. 

    A small hand shifted to grip at his shirt, directly over his heart where his chest was seemingly contracting. It was as though his body was collapsing in on himself. 

    ALL he wanted was to help- all he wanted was to be someone that people could rely on and yet all he’d manage to do is make them frustrated or annoy them. This self inflicted truth was seeping into the libero’s mind like a cerebral parasite. It was a false belief and any clear thinking person could see that, but Noya wasn’t clear thinking at the moment. 

    SO after long moments of silence, with steadier breath than he’d thought possible, Yuu spoke. “You’re right,” the words were too quiet, too accepting ( he was giving up ) . “I’m sorry.”

[ofdelinquency-blog]

( GET YOU A STARTER FOR ONE LIKE. )

[ofdelinquency-blog]

come add me  ( URLs please )

[ofdelinquency-blog]

Send me a ▲ for my muse's reaction to yours:

(You can find a random generator here. Or send the number of your choosing instead.)

attack hugging them

falling asleep on or next to them

giving them the best back massage they’ve ever had

holding their hand for the first time

hugging them from behind when they weren’t expecting it

hugging them way too tightly

kissing their forehead or cheek

kissing their neck

kissing them softly on the lips

playfully whacking them with a pillow

sneaking up behind them and blowing a raspberry on their neck

surprise kissing them

telling them they love them for the first time

tickling them

waking them up by holding them and playing with their hair

[ofdelinquency-blog]

Send me “Did you just cough up blood?!” for my muse’s reaction.

[ofdelinquency-blog]

Send (╯°□°)╯ for my muse’s reaction to yours punching out someone who was flirting with them!

[ofdelinquency-blog]

    THE libero winces purely out of fear, Hisashi’s touch was light enough to avoid any pain that may have befallen Nishinoya. However, it was his heart that ached then. How could he get hurt this close to the end? Now Yuu wouldn’t be able to finish out the game with them. 

   “YEAH right, as if you could.” There was a sweetly sad smile then, once that was as thankful as it was mournful.

Kinoshita took the bag of ice from Yachi’s hands and placed it gently on the libero’s ankle.           “Someone has to. Listen, we have a big lead in the game and it’s almost over. Just take some time to rest. If you don’t, I just might take your place.” Hisashi gave him a cocky smile trying to make light of the situation, even though he could never actually become a libero.