official-contrabasshorn - Tumblr blog

[official-contrabasshorn]

Yeah

y'all imma make a skype group chat for the deity squad (or sms/imessage or something else if you want) hmu if you want in

[official-contrabasshorn]

Soprano Flutes and Contrabass French Horns ❤

There are only 2 genders

Please people thee are only two genders…. I can’t believe that Tumblr is allowed to exist and make up all these ridiculous identities and not have all its users in mental health facilities. 

[official-contrabasshorn]

Do not worry my loyal subjects I hath returned... I've just been doing some -uh- spring cleaning? I 100 haven't forgotten to update because I have 13 side blogs I was cleaning the WHOLE time. Now I've heard recently that the "humans" have a new "president" which I'm guessing is their version of a queen. He's orange and loud so I'm guessing he's for the brass party? Anywho I pray that humans don't all end up in fire and can continue to play us. And another thing, I have decided to Knight @official-frenchhorn @official-trumpet @official-trombone @official-tuba and @official-baritone because APPARENTLY I CAN KNIGHT PEOPLE Who wants to be the royal jester?

[official-contrabasshorn]

4

@official-clarinets @official-clarinet @official-eflat-clarinet @official-bass-clarinet Hello :)

[official-contrabasshorn]

Oh my... Um...This is so sudden... But ... yes, @official-sopranoflute, I guess I “ship” us too!

Things that I ship now

@schoenberg-official and @charlesives-official

@fredericchopin-official and @franzliszt-official

@percyaldridgegrainger-official (me) and @edvardgrieg-official (luv u 2 sweetie <3)

@official-hectorberlioz and opium (I mean, duh)

[official-contrabasshorn]

@trumpets-official YES! RAISE OUR BRASS ARMY, WE WILL CONQUER! But, I think the low and high brass must unify first, oh bother.

I'm waiting for an official-flugelhorn and an official-cornet so we can rise up and take down the lower brass

@official-trombone @official-tuba @official-euphonium @official-frenchhorn @official-sousaphone

[official-contrabasshorn]

Why of course, your majesty, that sounds like a plan.

Trombone > every other instrument.

[official-contrabasshorn]

Wait why make an alliance with other instruments when we rule them?

No but I mean that you are actually a real life clarinet

I can neither confirm nor deny that I am a real live clarinet

[official-contrabasshorn]

'Twas a sad day for all.

What happened to @official-flaute? I never quite figured that out.

they’re in windsock heaven now…. 

for real though, the mod of official-flaute decided she liked soprano flutes so much that she just had to make an official account for them. and because shitposting as a wind sock gets tiring after awhile, that blog was deactivated and this one was created. 

[official-contrabasshorn]

@official-altotrombone I must say, you are adorable! Can I adopt you??

[official-contrabasshorn]

Very useful, I declare this loyal horn law

standard transpositions every horn player should know:

-horn in C -horn in D -horn in E -horn in F# -horn in Q flat -horn in $ -horn in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) -horn in 💃 -horn in saxophone -corn

[official-contrabasshorn]

Guide to the Orchestra:

Piccolo: SCREAMING

Flute: Every time you talk to them they just look at you like you're a piece of trash.

Oboe: FUCKING REEEEEDDDSSSSSS

English Horn: Actually I get a lot more than Dvorak 9 there's Rhapsodie Espagnole and Roman Carnival Overture and

E-Flat Clarinet: HIGH NOTES HIGH NOTES HIGH NOTES

B-Flat Clarinet: Arpeggios wheeeeee

Bass Clarinet: Grumbling both with their instrument and their vocal chords.

Bassoon: NOOOO NOT VIVALDI

Contrabassoon: LOW NOTES YESSSSS

French Horn: TUTTI PARTS YES TIME TO BLAAAASSST

Trumpet: FANFARE TIME doot da doot dooooooot BAP

Trombone: FINLANDIA YESSSS

Bass Trombone: FINLANDIA EXTREEEEMMMME VERSION

Tuba: *skips rehearsal and leaves a foghorn in their seat. Nobody notices*

Percussion: more like concussion lol

Harp: LEVERS FUKCKCJRSJJS

1st Violins: IF THE WINDS ARENT PLAYING WERE PLAYING THE MELODY

2nd Violins: IF WE ARENT PLAYING THE HARMONY WERE AN OCTAVE BELOW THE 1st VIOLINS

Viola: WHAT AM I AAAAAAAA

Cello: MELODY IN THE HIGH RANGE YESSSSS

Double Bass: JUST PLEASE GIVE US OUR OWN PART NONE OF THAT CELLO BULLSHIT

[official-contrabasshorn]

[official-contrabasshorn]

Just uncouth is it not?

“Please be careful… No tromboner has ever been in me before… Only hands…”

[official-contrabasshorn]

School:We don't allow bullying if you bully we will fuck you up

Student: I got bullied.

School: The fuck do you want us to do about it?

[official-contrabasshorn]

OFF WITH THE OBOES HEADS

How do you get 5 Oboes to play in tune?

Shoot 4 of them. 

[official-contrabasshorn]