officialhyperion - Tumblr blog

[officialhyperion]

Hyperion would like to remind you that unlicensed use of VIP Emergency Exits is punished with immediate: Incineration. Or electrocution, in case of fire.

[officialhyperion]

Man-made monsters beyond your pay grade!

[officialhyperion]

Hyperion thank you for releasing that official Handsome Jack Body Pillow I love you

Buy 10 and you may pre-order the 15 Year Handsome Jack Memorial Body Pillow now!

[officialhyperion]

If: you're worried your boss is going to echo you in your free time, you: have too much free time!

[officialhyperion]

And hello to you, temporarily embarrassed crypto bazillionaire! 😉

[officialhyperion]

There is a 2.5% margin of error accounted for by the time it took our research team to hand out fireproof questionnaires 😃

Did you know?! 😳

97.5% percent of people claiming to be "burnt out" are actually still very flammable! 😉

[officialhyperion]

Did you know?! 😳

97.5% percent of people claiming to be "burnt out" are actually still very flammable! 😉

[officialhyperion]

Hyperion! Because if killing them with kindness doesn't work - bullets will!

[officialhyperion]

shitty hyperion pride logos because surely rainbow capitalism exists in space, too

[officialhyperion]

Actually the pitch and frequency of my voice modulator are precisely calibrated to make sleep virtually impossible within earshot of my announcements! 😄

Did you know that Atlas employees are served decaffeinated sandwiches? That's the real corporate crime!

I would rather: Not eat all! 😄

[officialhyperion]

This is how they get stuck "sleeping" several hours per week!

Did you know that Atlas employees are served decaffeinated sandwiches? That's the real corporate crime!

I would rather: Not eat all! 😄

[officialhyperion]

Did you know that Atlas employees are served decaffeinated sandwiches? That's the real corporate crime!

I would rather: Not eat all! 😄

[officialhyperion]

Did you know? 🤔

Hyperion commends the enterprising spirit of any and all employees that decide to replace their limbs, tissue, organs or other body parts with some of our cutting-edge cybertronic technology! We also reserve the right to collect and reassemble your removed body parts into fun and unexpected new creatures. 😃

Legal Disclaimer: All creatures / people-adjacent beings assembled from removed tissue are by definition a new form of life. Previous tissue owners, singular or plural, have no legal claim to salaries paid to or profits made of their labour.

[officialhyperion]

Like anything Vladof -

Quick 🚫

Short-lived 🚫

A great big miss 🚫

People like to complain about: Rainbow Capitalism. 😃

But have you ever noticed how there is no Rainbow Communism? 🤔

We are: Just saying! 🌈

[officialhyperion]

People like to complain about: Rainbow Capitalism. 😃

But have you ever noticed how there is no Rainbow Communism? 🤔

We are: Just saying! 🌈

[officialhyperion]

🌈HAPPY PRIDE ^_^✨🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

🌈⭐ BUY HYPERION ✨🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[officialhyperion]

happy pride from hyperion, pumpkins <3.