offoxtails-blog

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my god am i changing my tag system.

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aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

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shameless sentence starters.

“ last time i checked, penis goes into vagina. ” “ you think you scare me? bring it, bitch! ” “ i will make this kitchen my bitch. ” “ they’re having a party for kids across the street. no booze. ” “ a shrink at school says I’m one of god’s mistakes. ” “ i believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you! ” “ did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ” “ i can’t handle anything up my ass without alcohol! ” “ baby, you know what this means, right? i got a magic dick! ” “  i’d be crying right now if i wasn’t so high. ” “ i’m not my dad. you hear me? i’m not my fucking dad! ” “ ever try to play pool with a rope? ” “ you don’t need a will, if she’s not technically dead. ” “ pretend you’re being a doctor today and tell a doctor’s kind of lie. ” “ if you’re looking for money, i don’t have any yet. ” “ am i going to have to learn how to do that when i start having sex? ” “ how do you feel about metal splinters to the eye? ” “ can’t a man/woman get one fucking minute of peace?! just one minute?! ” “ are you out of your fucking mind?! ” “ oh, could you be a little more vague? ” “ you came all the way down here to talk about my pubes? ” “ familiar with the term “quid pro quo”? “ �� well, this ain’t macy’s, bitch. you ain’t window-shopping. “ ” you know, you misspelled your last name. “ ”  i can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pussy you’d be in juvie. “ ” who’s that puking on his timberlands? “ ” he’s got nausea, shortness of breath, blood in urine, severe illness and death. “ ” i want normal people problems. like, am i getting enough fiber? ” “ hey, i think i just insulted myself. ” “ wanna see how fast i can unhook your bra? ” “ it’s tough, huh? my parents suck too. ” “ you married a drug lord’s daughter to hang on to your ear? ” “ front door was locked so i came in the back. no pun intended. ” “ half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ” “ you’re nothing but a warm mouth to me. ” “ i never said it was yours. you just wanted it to be. ” “ wouldn’t be the first time somebody’s disappointed me. ” “ when you’re poor, only way to make money is to steal it or scam it. ”

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Friends or more? Sentence Starters

aka “sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?” type of things

(send a name and a sentence)

“You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?”

“We always share blankets on the couch, I’m sure sharing the bed for the night is fine too.”

“Your lips are getting really close to mine.”

“I’m not jealous, but, like, come on, movie night is just for me and you only.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

“No, go on the Ferris Wheel with me, not them.”

“You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”

“Why is your hand on my ass?”

“Cuddle with me.”

“I just kissed your forehead, chill.”

“Shit, how’d you make me blush like this?”

“Are you trying to turn me on?”

“Let’s hang out, but I’ll pay for everything, and we can go to this fancy restaurant– No, not a date.”

“Okay, I guess this is a date, actually.”

“Stop with the tongue thing, it’s strangely attractive.”

“I keep telling them we’re not dating, but they keep telling me friends don’t normally make out when drunk.”

“I don’t want to be friends with benefits, but I do want something more, I just can’t figure out what.”

“When did you get so beautiful?”

“If you’re going to dress like that, I’m not going to let you out of my sight.”

“Their pick-up line wasn’t as good as any of mine, I’m just saying.”

“No, I don’t know how I got a boner, It just kind of happened! It’s because of how you were eating that ice cream, I bet!”

“I’m holding your hand because the movie is scary, alright?  It’s a… Terrifying… Rom-com… ….. .”

“Why’d you let go of me?”

“I accidentally called you my girlfriend/boyfriend today.”

“I kissed you because we were drunk.”

“I kissed you because I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Could you not talk to him/her, please?  I think they’re trying to date you.”

“I wish we could stay like this forever…”

“I had this dream where we were dating.”

“I had this dream where you kissed me, and I kind of want to try it now.”

“Why do you always call me when I’m on a date?”

“No, I can’t hang out, I’m on a date and you know that.” 

“Okay, maybe I am a bit jealous.”

“Just remember, he/she’s not the one who taught you how to kiss.”

“It’s weird how we’ve been friends for so long, but never went through that ‘crushing’ phase.”

“Maybe I want to kiss you because it’s cold and about to be cuddle season.”

“I say this a lot, but, look, they’re not good enough for you.”

“You’re always wrapping your arms around me in lines.”

“I was listening to that love song, and you came to mind.  Weird, right?”

“You know this voucher only works for couples, right?”

“Are you implying that you want to kiss me?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re blushing so hard, all I did was say “I love you” in French.”

“I could get used to waking up next to you, actually.”

“Right… Well… I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that…”

“I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date.”

“We would make a pretty good couple.”

“The date didn’t go well.  Yeah, she/he didn’t like how I kept mentioning all of our adventures.”

“How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?”

“Sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?”

[offoxtails-blog]

’ Let’s play a little game called, Russian Roulette,                                          — the winner, obviously gets to live. ‘

「 ( reblog / follow ) for a starter in your inbox. 」

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🙇

Chanyeol furrowed his brows in confusion. He was sure that strangers would never hug... randoms off the street. But this... this was new to him. He hadn’t met this person properly, so he could only assume he was mistaken for a face they had seen before. He could comment on it, question why this person had chosen him to hug. But wouldn’t that sound like he didn’t want it? Shaking his head, he just took the hug for what it was, some sentimental thing that would end faster than it began. He patted the male’s back, hoping it would get it to end sooner.

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❝ I can feel you staring at me, why don’t you just come in? ❞

A slow blink followed by his mouth opening and closing was all Chanyeol could muster at that moment. He didn’t want to intrude, but he needed to grab a few things. But those few things could wait. He covered his eyes, shaking his head and squeaking out an excuse that sounded stupid even to his own ears. “I can wait! No need!” He scrambled away, almost like a kit with it’s tail tucked between his legs.

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Send '🙇' for my muses reaction of yours giving them a hug.

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flvries:

@offoxtails from here

( ✉ → channie ) both is too much for me ( ✉ → channie ) unless... ( ✉ → channie ) you plan to join me for dinner?

( ✉ → lulu ) i’m coming over ( ✉ → lulu ) betsy will be with me ( ✉ → lulu ) we’re going to have a harry potter marathon

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❝ I know you’re scared of my mother but contemplating arson isn’t the way to fix this. ❞

“But arson would be the best way to go! If I can’t win her over with this, then I can’t win her over with anything. I am not worthy.” The fox clutched at his shirt, his other hand going to press against his forehead. He feigned a sigh and fell back into his chair, eyes falling shut. He shuddered at his own act, straightening up immediately to meet his gaze. “Tell me. How do I win over one’s mother? I want our friendship to be approved of before I do anything remotely involving coming over and playing video games.”

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❝ Did you just throw a sock ball at me!? ❞

Chanyeol peeked over at the male from behind the couch, ears on full display and a set of brown eyes watching him. He could play innocent, blame someone who didn’t exist. But he knew that would not work, because this was Luhan, and Luhan knew him way too well. The innocent facade could only work so long before he gave in to a laugh way to pleased. “Maybe... but I swear it wasn’t on purpose!” A lie. It was to get his attention because he felt bored and there was that rumbling in his stomach that told him he was indeed hungry.

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For the next five asks, my muse cannot tell a lie.

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while i take the time out to play a few games, i can be found on aim. the moment i’m done, i’ll be doing replies and following those i have not!

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obscenely domestic starter sentences

❝ Stop man-handling the ice cream! ❞ ❝ Change the channel and I’ll kill you. ❞ ❝ You actual shit, you started without me!? ❞ ❝ Since I’m up, by default I will get your _____. ❞ ❝ Did you just throw a sock ball at me!? ❞ ❝ How about this, how about you fight the rest of the cereal by yourself and I’ll courageously make pancakes for those of us who want a little warmth in our mornings. ❞ ❝ Whiskey is a breakfast staple, anyone who says otherwise is fucking lying. ❞ ❝ My underwear are now bright pink because of you, thank you very much. ❞ ❝ Can you stop kicking me? ❞ ❝ I don’t go shopping I get and retrieve. I have a narrow focus, unlike some people. ❞ ❝ Did you walk the dog? ❞ ❝ You, me, PJ’s, pizza, bed. The PJ’s are optional. ❞ ❝ Only you could make the idea of beating up already dead meat sound attractive. ❞ ❝ I can feel you staring at me, why don’t you just come in? ❞ ❝ Good news; we have internet again! ❞ ❝ I don’t want to file taxes, why don’t you be the adult? ❞ ❝ You snuggling me over an open flame is an invitation for my nipples to disappear. ❞ ❝ I know you’re scared of my mother but contemplating arson isn’t the way to fix this. ❞ ❝ I installed a stripper pole while you were gone because it made me think of you. ❞ ❝ All I was doing was helping the barista learn to spell my name properly. The song and dance should NOT have gotten you that embarrassed. ❞ ❝ How about we just never mention this again? ❞ ❝ Have you seen my earrings/necklace/rings? ❞  ❝ You are literally the child we both want/neither of us want. ❞ ❝ Did you call the doctor about that? ❞ ❝ Let me pop it, just let me pop it, nothing bad will happen, I swear! ❞ ❝ You almost left me at the gas station! ❞ ❝ Alright look! Next time you want to barbecue with the hair dryer, just make sure I’m home! ❞ ❝ I didn’t think the sink had this much water inside of it. ❞ ❝ Don’t be mad, but _____. ❞

Bonus for multi-lingual situations: ❝ Can you translate the news for me? None of this makes sense. ❞ ❝ What is the word for this? *points at ____* I keep wanting to say ‘printer’ but I feel that is wrong. ❞ ❝ Next time she calls you a ____ you just reply with _____. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry but my pronunciation must sound really bad to you. ❞ ❝ Shit! The government doesn’t have my alphabet, put this in a way I understand! ❞ ❝ Can you finger spell that for me, I’m not quite up to that level yet. ❞ ❝ That was said so horribly wrong but you sounded very cute while trying. A for effort. ❞

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Well, what do we have here?

He mustered a slow blink of the eyes before his head tipped to the side, gaze exploring the other’s features. He was confused  because he didn’t know what they had there, nor was he filled into whatever it was. So of course, the only think he could say was the first thought that came forth. “What do we have here ,exactly?”

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( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?

( ✉ → lulu ) why not both?!( ✉ → lulu ) both would be good on a day likes this( ✉ → lulu ) especially for dinner

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                                                           follow. plot. read.

  A fox is as sly as it’s namesake, as clumsy as it’s stature, and as affectionate as it’s heart desires.