ofmalfi-blog

[ofmalfi-blog]

drunk romance askathon

(i’m drunk, cannot vouch for rebloggers) send a couple of numbers n reblog ! :)

what’s your worst sex experience?

have you ever kissed a stranger?

how old are you?

how long is your longest relationship?

what’s the worst date you’ve been on?

how old were you when you had your first kiss?

have you ever had a one night stand?

have you ever had a secret relationship?

what’s your sexuality?

how old were you for your first kiss?

how old were you when you lost your virginity?

what’s your drink of choice?

whats your opinion on virginity?

what’s the best date you’ve been on?

how many guys have you made out with?

have you ever dated a friends ex?

where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

how many guys have you had sex with?

what’s the shortest relationship you’ve had

how many guys have you dated?

[ofmalfi-blog]

#1 - Rach

Monday, May 15th, 2017 / 1:45am

Rach may well be one of the closest girlfriends i’ve made even considering the insanely short amount of time that I’ve been a part of the Dids group (a whopping eight months if my memory is to be relied on), we weren’t close until my breakup with my boyfriend Charley. Aforementioned Charley was, to my life, what that massive fucking asteroid was to dinosaurs. I was a shell of a person when he dumped me, but somewhere along the line, I found myself turning to Rach who was going through her own boy troubles.

Rach got me through my worst times, she still does but to a lesser extent nowadays. We spoke for hours on the phone, I told her about everything that had happened to me in the months that we hadn’t been that close, and in return she told me about her own lesser moments, her eating disorder; the boy she thought had fallen for her despite telling her from the beginning that he wanted to see other girls. Nearly detrimental to our relationship and my precarious position in the group also happened to be boys.

Prior to my high-intensity, however short-lived relationship with Charley, I was recovering from being fucked over by another guy. My great solution to that heartache was fucking a boy in the Dids group. Turns out that Max (Dids group boy) was speaking to a central girl in the Dids group (Bev), and had been for months, but he didn’t think to mention that until after I’d endured some of the worse sex of my 17 years. This stayed a secret for a few months, surely people had their suspicions since they’d known that I stayed over, but I’ve always found that denial gets people off your back when they realise you won’t speak. Then everything went to shit, Max got drunk at a lads night and told the guys he’d fucked me, and I got drunk at a girls night a month later and told everybody who didn’t already know. Within the couple of days before this girls night, Bev (who had since moved on to a new boy) found out about it as well. She also found out that her ‘good friend’ fucked him as well, I was the only one who she gave shit about it too. 

The real stinger is that when texting Bev the next day to say I hadn’t known about her speaking to Max, and that I wouldn’t have done it otherwise, and telling her that Max was a great guy and he never meant to hurt her, she was sending Max screenshots and Max was telling her about how shitty a person I supposedly was. Max claims the reason he doesn’t like me now is because I told Bev about the second girl he’d fucked, I think we all know that’s complete bullshit, he cares that Bev now know’s he’s a guy who’d stoop low enough to fuck trampy ol’ me.

The point of this tale being that Bev doesn’t like me, and where before she’d just generally not been that perceptive to me joining the group, she now had good reason to alienate me. As I’ve mentioned, Bev is part of this central girls group the ‘Rich Girls’ as they’re fondly known, as is Rach. Bev talked shit about me and then me and Rach had a completely unrelated night in together, one drunk tweet later, and there was full blown beef with the Rich Girls and me. It’s funny because the majority of the Rich Girls don’t actually dislike me, I just happen to be a social pariah. 

Rach then lost her virginity to a guy she met on Tinder (not on my recommendation). She told me and our close friend Tara, who had also lost her virginity to a guy she met on Tinder, and at that ‘girls night in’ they decided to tell Bev about it, because they were close with her. The first question that Bev asked them: “Did Lana tell you to tell me?”, Lana being me. Well no Bev, you fucking bitch, I told them not to tell you because you’re so fucking judgemental that there are people in fucking Alaska who could probably sense your judgement, and as a girl whose been subject to it before, I know a lot better.

As distasteful as the word ‘frenemy’ is, it’s Bev in a nutshell. You know that she was saying to girls how I talk to much about boys? And in the same breath texted me asking about why I hadn’t told her about a boy I was dating. Fucking bitch.

So Rach, as lovely and wonderful a friend as she is, must now be permanently held at an arms legnth, all because I fucked Max and she fucked God Knows Who from Tinder, and heaven forbid the Rich Girls find out that we’re still as close as Oprah and Gayle. I still text her and tell her about my pulls, she still tells me when she goes on dates and has terrible sex, but the three hour phonecalls? Sleepovers? Nope.