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closed starter @hazysolstice
location: bottoms up.
never had milo expected to be seated alone in the corner of a bar waiting for nino of all people . if it weren’t for the few shots he downed almost immediately he probably would have walked right back out that door and crossed his fingers that the repercussions weren’t that bad . yet .. here he was , sipping from a rum and coke while he attempted to recite the various verbiage he was to spew at his ex — all while finding the means to not jump across the table and STRANGLE nino for getting him in this position in the first place. ’ you’re right. i was wrong. you’re right .. ’ thoughts were clouded by the sudden reminder that he was forced into agreeing to a lie he’d spend the last six years trying to disprove . what the fuck had he ever seen in nino to begin with ? if he had just kept a level head long enough to realize what he was getting himself into .. if he had just never fallen for someone when he knew it would never work out . wandering thoughts were halting as his hazy vision was finally focusing on the face of the figure walking toward him and the sudden realization of just how real this was settled in . how the fuck had he gotten himself in this situation ? ‘ h - hey , ’ and despite very awkwardly addressing him , he offered a lazy hand gesture toward the seat across from him . ‘ thanks uh .. for coming , i guess . ’ clearing his throat , a long few moments passed before finally forcing a red brimmed gaze to settle on his ex . ‘ did you ned a drink first ? NOT on me but — i just don’t really want to be interrupted once we start. ’
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johnny.
johnny could only roll his eyes & laugh at the notion that milo was irresistible to him — he was certainly something, but he figured he’d been resisting him well enough up until this point. resist was the wrong word for it, he thought ( whatever anyone called it, johnny was less and less in the mood to keep it up now, today of all days ). ‘ cocky bastard, ’ he muttered like it was an endearment, body turning more fully towards milo nonetheless, the corner of his mouth lifting. ‘ who exactly have you been sharing sexually fueled looks with ? are you sure i wasn’t looking at the vinyls ? ’ he was certainly talking tough considering the way he sucked in a breath a moment later when milo reached for him, the way tilted his chin upwards an inch and found himself biting down on his lower lip, conscious of the other’s gaze. that can i was all the permission he needed himself, & johnny leaned across the console to kiss him, his own hand coming up to cup the back of milo’s neck and tug him closer. his eyes fluttered shut. though it was embarrassingly tentative at first — it had been a while — he wanted this, wanted him. whether he was irresistible or not, johnny could feel the draw now, & it was so easy to give into, felt good to do so in ways he hadn’t expected. he wished, suddenly, that he’d brought another joint, that he could suck in a hit and press his hand to milo’s jaw, breathe it back out for his benefit and laugh against his lips. & then all he was thinking about was the feel of their lips pressed together. he was quick to deepen the kiss, quick to open his mouth to it and lick at milo’s, johnny’s fingers scratching gently at the hair on the nape of his neck as he let out a soft noise of satisfaction.
milo had always been a confident man , patient when necessary and right here with johnny proved why . something had told him all those months ago that he wouldn't be the only one feeling the spark between them . any question in regard to the other's thoughts on it were answered all too quickly though , feeling the hand on the back of his head and those soft lips against his own . at least something good was coming of all this . finally able to close his eyes , relax , focus on something other than the chaos surrounding them all . instead he found himself lost in the kiss , lips moving slow with johnny's as he returned every ounce of wanting given to him . there wasn't much room to think .. every move he made simply instinctive . hand slid back , long digits curling into his thick locks as his head was tilting and his own lips parting in response . he knew it wasn't just the drugs they'd shared , he'd had plenty of weed induced kisses and none had felt like this . the hunger had grown over the past few days , and he hadn't realized quite how badly he wanted it until he found himself in the small space and somehow still feeling too far of a distance between them . ‘ can't believe you tried to deny that you found me attractive , ’ teasing words broken apart between slow kisses , the tugging lightly at his strands just as a shiver from his blunt nails ran through him . he was suddenly despising the consol separating them , attempting to lean across it and using his forearm for support while deepening the kiss .
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nino.
he should’ve expected this , yet the corners of his mouth still tug downward into a frown at milo’s dry - cut answer , unable to comprehend the reasoning for such blatant distaste after so much time has transpired . looks like he won’t be getting that drink anytime soon , just his luck to tap on the shoulder of someone who hates him . ‘ you’re still doing this ? aren’t you tired of accusing me of something i didn’t do ? ’ annoyance falls across soft features as facial muscles tighten , back straight ━━ he knows he’s right . definitely . absolutely . he’d remember fucking milo over . ‘ i know being an asshole is your new thing or whatever , but i didn’t think you’d keep up this story for this long . ’ he exhales , buzz fading with each passing moment . what a bummer . ‘ we broke up . you found some made - up reason to end things and it worked . why keep going ? it’s done . ’ he’ll watch the other curiously , no shred of timidity that would usually be found in confrontations like these ━━ it doesn’t make sense to him , nothing ever does when it comes to the other , milo’s hatred for nino refusing to fit within the cookie - cutter fantasy his mind has formed . content and careless memories up until their separation disjointed by his psyche’s need to cover up feelings of disgust and guilt . innocence isn’t feigned , it’s what he truly believes , what he needs to believe .
there was a hefty list of things milo had done wrong in life .. but he still couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve such blatant disrespect . all too often he'd attempted to convince himself that the other had zero power over him , that he was choosing his own anger as a means of reverence in regards to the truth he was being denied . there was an obvious roll of eyes accompanied by a scoff , hardly able to keep his focus on nino as he felt a twist of distain brewing in his chest . ‘ how did you pretend for so long that you ever gave a shit about me ? ’ it was a genuine question , blinking back at the other . suddenly distracted as the fresh drink was slid over to him , easily taking a couple gulps and willed himself to get a grip . nino wasn't important , he had been doing a great job at avoiding him and all he needed to do now was continue to simply pretend he didn't exist . eyes closing briefly only to force a locked gaze on his ex and his jaw was clenching . so much for a night of just letting loose . ‘ why the fuck would i need an excuse to break up with you ? if i was unhappy i would have dumped your sorry ass , trust me when i say i wish i had done it sooner . i was under some misguided impression that we were mutually interested in eachother . ’ it wasn't often milo even spoke about this , something he'd done as good a job as he could at burying it deep in his past . ‘ i might be an asshole nino , but at least i can own up to my shit . are you just so scared of people realizing just how vapid and deranged you are ? i can't believe that you could possibly have really convinced yourself you are right . there's no way you're that illogical . ’
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a peak inside the mind of milo yun.
PLAYLIST & PINTEREST BOARD
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johnny.
‘ hey, i’ll hold your hair back if you need it, don’t worry, ’ johnny reassured, grin lazy and teasing. a vague thought entered his head: milo had great hair. that was a new one. it wasn’t that he’d never noticed that the other was good looking — it was hard not to at least think about it when someone was consistently blatant about wanting to get into his pants. but something had certainly shifted in johnny the past few days, surprisingly good talks leading to a certain agreement, & as his high really settled in and he started to let the anxiety and upset of the day seep away, he couldn’t help giving milo a considering look as he spoke. ‘ that would be a real fucking shame, ’ he said honestly. he couldn’t really imagine the trophy husband life — couldn’t imagine the husband life at all, but it’d always been in the back of his mind when his mother was still around, that wish to make her proud, give her the gift of knowing he was happy with someone, had a family. he shook those thoughts off as quickly as they came, though, & added: ‘ what was it i was saying the other day ? that i’m not gonna mess around with you during work hours ? ’ it should annoy him, that he often took on the brunt of the work when milo was on shift too — & some days it did. but he was never all that shy about letting him know, or asking for help on the occasions the store actually did need more than one person on hand. today he could only laugh. the work hadn’t even been able to distract him from the shitshow his life in this small town had turned seemingly turned into in moments the night before, but milo was distracting him now, could surely be even more of a pleasant distraction if johnny really put his mind to it. as he rested against the back of the seat, he raised his eyebrows, gestured between them. ‘ clearly i exaggerated. a lot can change in a couple days, i guess. ’
‘ thank you , i appreciate your priorities. ’ a laugh left him , hand raising to card through his dark locks teasingly . there was a small nod of agreement , genuinely contemplating for a moment if he would STILL have tried to get johnny into this car for some weed and shameless flirting if there had been a ring on his finger . something told him it wouldn't stop him , and something else said to not admit that fact out loud . he was already getting enough shit for the things he did openly .. ‘ yeah , you said something like that . as long as it doesn't interfere with work .. i know it can be hard to resist me sometimes , ’ words spoken in a nonchalant tone , playful smirk tugging at his lips , listening as johnny went on . mirroring the way his eyebrow rose , he couldn't help the way he was leaning in closer in attempt to minimize the space between them . ‘ a lot can change .. does that mean your mind has ? ’ his curiosity was piqued, gaze moving along his features before a hand slipped over until his fingers were dancing up from his knee . ‘ suddenly realizing how much more fun work would be if we were doing more than sharing sexually fueled looks ? ’ his smile had grown fully now , hand lifting until the back of his knuckles were brushing against his prominent cheekbone . ‘ technically , we are on a lunch break right now .. probably the best time to make up for all the times you didn't let me kiss you when i could have . ’ brow-raising suggestively , not hiding his blatant stare at johnny's lips that lasted a few lingering seconds . ‘ so —— can i ? ’
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mina.
how long she was going to put on this facade of confidence , she didn’t know . for the time being it felt good , acting as if she had a shred of control over her life . she’d soon learn she had absolutely no say when it comes to the aches and pains that come with life , but for now , everything was going to be fine . “ me ? “ she hadn’t really pondered the question considering everything going on with everyone else . “ oh , i’ve been great ! “ she won’t speak of the unpaid bills sitting on her counter , or the fact she hasn’t spoke to her parents in months. some things better left unsaid , especially now , with this ‘ tori ‘ running around & ruining lives . “ but enough about me , gosh . how are things with you ? “ eyes follow movements around the room , an eyebrow raising at milo’s comment about body shots . “ that’s just the variety i’m talking about . “ sliding into a chair , her head rests on her palm , patiently waiting for the poison to be served . her thoughts slip away for just a moment , sounds of ice cubes hitting glasses bringing her back to reality . she listens with intrigue , eyes following the flow of the liquid as her mind races elsewhere . “ i can think of a few more things i’d like to savor , too . “ shifting her posture , mina accepts the glass , holding it out to meet the others with a clink . “ yes , to us . “ she throws her head back , taking in a good amount of the drink - enough to make her cringe at its warmth travelling down her throat and into her stomach . “ we should do something , yeah ? “ pulling herself out of the chair and back to her feet , she takes another sip before finishing off her thought. “ roll one up and watch a movie , maybe ? or just roll one up , i’m good with either . “
body turned toward mina once he'd finished preparing the drinks , and although she'd answered .. he couldn't help but wonder exactly what was so great in her life . they'd started talking and less with time , things becoming a shell of the way they'd begun and it likely had something to do with the rope milo continuously pulled from her grip . ‘ i've been okay , just trying to stay out of all the shit i keep getting pulled into . ’ there was a dramatic eye roll , as if he weren't to blame for majority of whatever shit he had found himself in the middle of . it cost to be a selfish person .. but it wasn't stopping him. the smirk on his lips grew as mina stood and their glasses clinked together , watching as she downed her own drink before quickly catching up and swallowing down a few large gulps . tongue peaked out to lick the remnants of the burning liquor from his lips with a pleased him . ‘ to us , and savoring the finer things in life . ’ one arm easily slipped around her waist , plucking mina along with him toward his room as he kept grip of his own glass . ‘ we could watch a movie and get lit , ’ milo agreed with a nod , stopping once they'd emerged into his room and setting his drink onto his night table . giving a quick kiss to her cheek before he was climbing into bed and reaching for his laptop . ‘ you pick out the movie ? i'll roll us a fat joint , ’ milo was suggesting before sliding the laptop with netflix open toward mina to stream onto his television . reaching for the container next to his bed, teeth sunk into his lip as he was settling back against the headboard and carefully began rolling a fresh joint with the ground up weed he'd purchased the other day . after a couple of minutes he was finishing the tightly rolled joint and setting the rest aside . ‘ voila ! ’ a pleased grin took over, sitting up enough to offer it over . ‘ do the honors ? it's only fair the prettiest should go first . ’
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cody.
𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 , broken promises and meaningless reassurances had left their mark , much like bloody seeds and cherry pulp make a home out of honeyed digits in the summertime : the rotten stench of fruit slowly seeping into the barren wasteland that is cody’s heart . and concealer and nameless pills could only erase the trembling bouts of insecurities so much before he were to reach a breaking point . and yet still , he eagerly continued to set himself aflame , burying his need for comfort and security away for the sake of others , role coming to him easily when he was in the vicinity of loved ones . a delicate smile plastered upon cherubic features , dark gaze smudged with mirth , all the right comments and remarks tumbling from strawberry brims . moonlight spills from a decaying heart all too willing to douse another with affection , a desire to be useful washing away the nightmares that coiled around frail organs : tremulous frame burdened by the vicious winter storms that brewed within a desolate chest every time he was made to witness the other in such a state , sensitivity once again reducing him down to someone that would willingly set himself aflame for milo : magnificent light show cackling amidst a pathetic grave , a transient sacrifice . nerves crawl up his spine as he’s ushered into the dwelling , barely able to nudge off his sneakers before he’s being led into the bedroom , concern proliferating upon honeyed features . gentle in the way he crawls up next to milo , raven locks grazing a pillow as he lays next to the other , unsure of whether there should be boundaries between them or not . ’ don’t worry about me . are you okay ? do you need me to get you anything ? ’ candied whisper was laced with a delicacy unheard of when it comes to cody , svelte digits tangled in milo’s locks as they card through them . ’ though , i’ll admit … my feet are still cold so … if you wanted to warm them up , i wouldn’t be opposed . ’ honeysuckle nectar dripped from the words , bidding farewell to the underlying meaning : the distress tucked away behind his tongue , uncertainties threatening to bleed through .
a part of milo contemplated whether or not he was just imagining this , cody shuffling behind him before crawling into bed without a second thought . things had been .. tense lately to say the least , and although half the time he really had no idea what was going on , at least cody was here NOW . it was all too easy for milo's arms to wrap tight around the other while his head tilted toward the digits splaying through his hair . a gentle hum built from his throat , tired eyes falling closed and it was a little too easy to find comfort despite the spinning of his head . ‘ no —— just stay right here . ’ it was a simple request, finding his own hands squeezing around the fabric of cody's shirt and he was shifting enough to slip a knee between the other's and his head came to settle against his chest . there was no way to place what exactly was calming him down , if it was the way he could hear each beat of cody's heart and time his breathing along with it .. or the simple act being embraced by one of the only people who cared . he tried hard not to care or notice that he was practically exiled by most of the town , although it was becoming increasingly harder to ignore , instead he’d chalk it up to a rough few weeks later on when he went back to the avoidance . ‘ 'm .. i'm really not going to touch your feet cody , ’ milo finally responded, head shaking against his chest only to bury his face against it briefly, finally tilting up and eyes fluttered open in attempt to focus on the other male . ‘ i'll warm anywhere else .. keep your iceicle toes to yourself before i cut them off . ’ the words an empty threat, an amused grin pulling at his lips . ‘ i'd offer to let you raid my sock drawer , but i'm too comfortable .. your feet will warm up eventually . ’ eyes closing as if to emphasize his point while his face practically nuzzles into his best friend , glad to not be stuck alone in this state . ‘ thanks .. for being here . i owe you . ’
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johnny.
there was some reassurance in milo’s words that managed to break past whatever it was johnny was feeling — a little bit hopeless, quick to assume he’d fucked up something good for himself in a way that wouldn’t be fixable. he shrugged, muttered, ‘ yeah, maybe he will, ’ & then his brows furrowed as he remembered telling milo about him and cole in the first place, a shocked laugh on his lips at how small the world could be. it had seemed ridiculous, then, as if johnny could’ve pointed to himself, said is it just me or did i fuck that guy a couple years back, & turned to stare at a camera as an obnoxious laugh track played. johnny and his choices — hilarious. he wished now that he’d never let it slip, never gotten milo involved, however inadvertently. the fact that he’d kept the secret at all was amazing, given that they weren’t exactly close despite working together for months ( & he knew there was no love lost between him and cole ). but johnny believed him when he said he hadn’t told anyone, even if now he almost thought that would have been a better alternative to the actual reveal. at least one of them could have been free and clear of cody’s rightful anger, if he had. fucked up. he sighed, lost in thought for a moment before milo broke him out of it, & then johnny’s eyebrows were going up even as the lids of his eyes started to feel a little heavier. he chuckled a little at the idea, a sixteen-year-old milo rehearsing how he was going to get away with something, & told him: ‘ you’ll have to show me sometime — we’ll make it an experiment. how many shots before you can’t remember the alphabet backwards ? ’ & the image that gave him really set him off, z y x what, a barrage of laughter that made his shoulders shake as he plucked the joint away for what would probably be his last hit — he’d let milo finish this one off. he appreciated the distraction well enough to be generous, though the smoke blown into his face had him muttering ‘ jackass ’ even as he grinned. when his mirth dissolved into a last few seconds of what could only be referred to as giggling, he finally shrugged, thought hard, & brought up the first thing that came to mind: ‘ right after i graduated high school i slid into this really hot pro skateboarder’s dms and then — as soon as he started to get too into it, i ghosted and never looked back. totally wimped out. i probably ruined my life that day, lowkey. i could be a fuckin’ trophy husband by now. ’ last hit taken, & then he passed the joint back, nodding at it. ‘ go ‘head and finish that off. ’
attempting a nod of reassurance , genuine hope that at least if he was wrong he wouldn't get the blame from the male beside him . it had all been a mess NO ONE could have predicted . a secret he never thought would bring such an earthquake to his life but here they were dealing with the consequences no one was prepared for . but somehow they were finding a way to not harbor the anger , or at least express it all in a less depressing manner . ‘ sounds like a fun game , ’ milo easily agreed, continuing to slowly puff of the joint. ‘ it'll take a lot .. i really perfected this one , you better be prepared to deal with me all drunk and sloppy after . ’ his own laugh mixed in with johnny's , knowing well milo would not be the prettiest sight in that scenario . the smile on his lips wasn't leaving , glazed stare jumping from the prominent features he found himself caught up in once johnny began his story . ‘ wow .. gave up the life of a trophy husband , what were you thinking ? ’ a judgemental tone in his voice , although there was a reassuring wink soon following . ‘ if he really let you ghost him like that so easily , you're missing out on nothing .. except maybe being extremely rich and married to a hot pro skated . try not to dwell on it . ’ grinning as his head tilted, half rested against the back of the seat while he kept his body turned toward johnny . ‘ kind of glad you did though , it would be a shame if you were married off already and i never got the chance to be an irresponsible employee with you . and to think .. right now i'd be standing in there alone ignoring customers .. the world works in mysterious ways, doesn't it ? ’
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nino.
for @ofmiscreants ↬ MILO & NINO .
he feels a little on the edge of heaven , much like the title of the club suggests , mind emptied until it’s replaced with nothing but pounding bass and the body heat of the people closest to him , hues glossy with intoxication . and yet the buzz is fading , an absolute crime to the male , feet dragging him toward the direction of the bar . lithe fingers tap on the shoulder of the person he first sees , shuffling into a spot next to them as inebriated vision struggles to focus in the dim lighting . ‘ hey ! can you buy me a drink ? i’d get it myself , but i’ve already spent like , two - thirds of my paycheck this week . ’ voice chipper as he speaks above the music , conversation comes to him so effortlessly even in the midst of a perceived stranger . ‘ you’d think they’d pay me more , y’know , i’m a model employee ! i do so much work for them ━━ ’ words catch in his throat once blurred eyesight reveals just who he’s talking to , smile that formed naturally across his features becoming tight , pained . ‘ oh . it’s you . ’ no assistance of liquid courage here , just the unadulterated bitterness he feels from being wronged . ‘ still hate me ? ’
he hadn't been out for long — a few shots in and half way through his drink — when milo found himself seated at the bar for a quick breather and some more alcohol . having finally opted to go out on his own there was no stopping him from dancing with any and every attractive person he made eye contact or accidentally brushed against . the night had clearly been all too pleasant , attempting to down the rest of his drink just before he felt the tap on his shoulder . the confusion immediately set in , and eyes bulged when the realization that this was in fact the guy he actively avoided on a daily basis . silence fell over him as eyes narrowed and he could feel his blood already begin to boil . he wasn't sure if it was how casually he was talking, or the fact that it took him halfway through begging for a drink to even realize WHO he was asking but it was enough to have his eyes rolling once he finally realized . ‘ yeah it's me , ’ a grumbled response as he reached for the glass beside him and easily swallowing down the remaining contents ( despite the exceptional urge to throw it into nino's face ) . ‘ i still hate you . ’ milo confirmed with a nod , sparing brief eye contact before turning toward the bar and motioning for a second drink as the tender glanced over . ‘ unless you've finally pulled your head out of your ass long enough to admit you fucked me over .. but i stopped holding my breath on that one years ago . ’
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mina.
why mina was such a sucker for such terrible things ? there was no answer . all she knew is that no matter how many times she told herself she was done , she’d always end back where she started , filling her head with lies that it would ’ be different ’ this time around . unfortunately for mina , her thoughts would never control the outcome . she’d come running back every time , be let down every time , and repeat the cycle every fucking time . ” well , fuck what people think . ” her words contradicting every inch of the foundation her parents laid out during her youth , hammering the idea into her broken mind that appearances and opinions meant everything . ” no , of course not ! ” the last thing she wants him to assume is that she’s only around for the alcohol , but she won’t go without admitting it was a pretty good add-on . ” hmm , no . you’re enough , the drinks are just a bonus . ” a teasing wink follows footsteps into the kitchen , trusting guiding instincts . as her back hits the doorframe , an arm wraps itself around the trim , head tilted with the same grin she’d walked in with . ” we can catch up and drink . ” releasing her grip on the door , mina slips through the gap between their bodies dancing further into the kitchen , silent hums accompany every step . ” that’s perfect . i’ve always enjoyed a little variety , anyway “ a quick wink and her inner bartender kicks in , hands reaching for glasses . ” i’m gonna go with on the rocks . you ? ”
it was times like these that reminded milo why he had always kept mina around .. things were almost effortless , she was one of the few people willing to forgive and see some sort of worth even when he didn't deserve it . one of the only people he'd hurt who was still here giving him chance after chance and .. maybe that's something he should be taking more serious but it was hard to think too much about that when he was distracted by just how good she looked and how good she felt . ‘ fuck what people think , ’ milo repeated with a gentle laugh , hand lifting to toy with the ends of her hair . not before long however , she was slipping from the door and his gaze was quickly following , feet carrying in the same direction . ‘ yeah ? so how have YOU been ? things have been a little .. crazy for some of us around here . ’ stopping to grab the whiskey from the fridge , setting it in front of her on the counter top and reaching into the cabinet for two glasses . ‘ yeah ? well maybe body shots later then .. just to switch things up , ’ milo teased , eyes shamelessly raking over her figure as if he hadn't seen her in and out of everything at this point . giving a simple nod , one hand plucked both glasses up , the other reaching into the freezer for a small handful of cubes in each one . ‘ exactly what i was thinking .. i just wanted to taste it , you know ? ’ pausing to set the glasses back down and reaching for the chilled bottle , carefully pouring them each a glass nearly to the brim . ‘ take my time .. savor it .. enjoy every last drop , ’ eyebrow cocked as his own glass was lifted toward mina . ‘ to .. us .. and not giving a fuck what anyone thinks about it ? ’
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cody.
▓ ❛ ⋯ 𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑳𝑶𝑨𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮 … 𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙾 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙳𝙰𝙺𝙾𝚃𝙰 , 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙼 .
* 𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚁 … @ofmiscreants .
𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 , heart now resembling a wilted flower , one that blooms amidst recalcitrant soil . misguided indignation melts upon the hibiscus petals snagged on the edges of his ribcage , sickly sweet droplets trickling in through the crevices , flooding a now vacant dwelling . raised to have a crumbling self - esteem , mouth parched of affection had grown used to being fed spoonfuls of gasoline disguised as strawberry syrup , always so terrified of abandonment : petrified of the very idea of companionships growing cold , unwilling to live with the remnant scorch marks that will undoubtedly be imprinted upon his decaying heart . and so , here he stands : doe eyes lost in a wistful haze , effects of the pill meant to calm him having yet to take place . as evident by the way cody refused to budge from his spot , chilled digits hesitating to even knock against the wooden door . to love someone was to be vulnerable , but such a concept was unattainable for someone like him : an angel set to fall from birth , childlike innocence never even having the chance to flourish , love always consisting of teeth stained crimson and decaying promises . an inhale : one , two , three . ─ ─ ─ and then bruised knuckles are gently making contact with the door , convoluted emotions bubbling at the base of a now timid throat , thrums of fear morphing into something more jarring , jumbled up sounds creating a cacophonic storm within him . 𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙾𝙾 . ’ milo , please let me in ! it’s freezing out here . ’
he hadn't planned on getting so fucked up , vision blurred and milo was convinced the entire room was shifting . any attempt at getting up had quickly failed , feet tingling as if in a perpetual state of being woken , and there was a shake in his hands that had stolen the usual dexterity . there was no telling how long it had been since cody said he was coming .. not any indication of how long his eyes had been closed and the world around him finally silenced . UNTIL — eyes shot open once he recognized the banging sound just at the end of the hallway across from his own room , thankful that by now the spinning had dwindled down to a slight shake . a nuisance , but it was workable . inhaling deeply as he willed himself , legs swinging from his bed and all too amazed when he managed to take hold of his center of balance and swayed his way down the hall . ‘ i thought it was unlocked , ’ milo groaned after fumbling with the lock and yanking the door open . entirely unprepared for the sight despite knowing PRECICELY who was behind the door , milo felt his breath catch and he couldn't quite place if it was the chemicals he'd ingested or the fact he wasn't sure if he'd be seeing cody here again but .. the dizzy spell was threatening once again . ‘ c'mon .. ’ head cocking toward his room , reaching out until a clammy grasp found it's way around cody's wrist and he was able to pull his friend along with him after he gave a clumsy kick until the door was slamming behind them . ‘ bed , i just .. need to lay down . ’ words running together as they were slurred slowly , a dramatic sigh falling from him the second he was falling face first back into bed . ‘ you need to be warmed up still ? ’
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johnny.
if he had no idea what cody could possibly be mad about, he wouldn’t feel this shitty, would he ? he’s not so clueless that he can’t imagine what it’d feel like, to find out from some anonymous source that an ex had cheated with a friend, that other friends had known about it — the fact that cole had been a complete stranger at the time would hardly matter at first. but the vitriol had stung nonetheless, made him defensive and pissy, & johnny had said to himself: i need to go to work, & turned off his phone. he couldn’t deal with cody, couldn’t deal with feeling the strange combination of a need to defend himself and a need to continue apologizing all at once, when it was so obviously going to get him nowhere in the moment. ‘ he’s pissed we both kept something important from him, ’ johnny mutters with a shrug and a vague grimace. he knows. ‘ & maybe with me he’s mad that i actually fucked cole, i don’t know. they — whoever that was — they called me a homewrecker, but it wasn’t like that. still… who can guess the shit people care about ? ’ a brush-off as he takes the joint back, as if he hasn’t been mulling it over nonstop, the shit people care about — people who are cody, he supposes. if he hadn’t thought cody would care, he’s not sure he would have bothered keeping it to himself this long. he takes a long hit as he ponders milo’s advice. here they are already, trying not to think about it too much — at least that’s what johnny is doing in his car, makeshift out for lunch sign hung up on the door to stoned records that he knows he, at least, won’t get fired for cooking up. another small hit, & he’s starting to feel a little bit floaty as he hands it back to milo. ‘ i am trying. it just… sucks. ’ he feels the back of his throat start to tickle, then, & maybe this is why he never talks to anyone about the things that really do suck — the need for an immediate pull-back, the refusal to go there. he swallows hard and then shuts stinging eyes, takes a deep breath and forces himself to relax even as the joint works its magic. ‘ whatever. nothing i can do about it right now, i guess. god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change in the next ten fuckin’ minutes, etcetera. ’
there were countless bad things people could throw in milo's face .. so many hated him and most with good reason .. but cody was never supposed to be one of them . he was thankful . relieved that johnny was here with him but also HATED that they could even relate on this . ‘ yeah .. he is . ’ lips pressing into a tight line , hands curling into fists as he willed himself to just .. chill . and maybe not think about himself for two seconds . it was painfully clear as johnny went on that he was bothered by the things said about him , and why wouldn't he be ? but those were harsh words for someone who didn't mean to mess anything up . ‘ people care about all the wrong things here .. ’ milo found himself grumbling in response , a shake of his head following . ‘ but cody .. he's smart, you know ? i think once this blows over and the initial shock of .. whatever the fuck this tori bitch was trying to do blows over , MAYBE he'll come around . ’ there was an attempt at a reassuring smile as he finished , not entirely convinced by his own words but sometimes people just needed the contrasting thoughts . milo had no idea what the future would hold , no idea if he and cody would even come out on top of all this but there was no need in upsetting johnny more . especially not when they were supposed to be winding down from all the CHAOS . reaching out mindlessly to toy with the adidas lanyard attached to his keys , needing something to distract himself from the temptation to pluck that joint right back out of johnny's hand . ‘ sucks is an understatement , ’ milo agreed , a humor-less chuckle following . okay ..... so maybe he wasn't the best at pick-me-ups , his own cynical mindset seeming to counteract this attempt at a break . time to pull it together , if not for himself then the guys having quite possibly an even worse day than he was . ‘ nothing we can do is correct — ’ an odd choice of pep talk openers , but he'd be the last person to claim he knew what he was doing . ‘ just fuck it , ok ? right now .. fuck everything except you , and i , and this car and that joint .. don't mind if i do . ’ halting as he leaned against the center console and snatched the joint back . chin propped in his hand , a smile slowly pulling onto his lips . ‘ life is too short to analyze everything we did wrong , or the things people think about us . you know how little free time i would have if i did that ? tell me .. something about you . like your most embarrassing moment , or maybe a surprising fact .. ? a strange talent ? ——— i mastered the art of saying the alphabet backward by sixteen in order to fool my stepdad into thinking i didn't get drunk every time i got caught sneaking back into the house .. ’ there was a nod of encouragement and an eyebrow raising , the fingers gripping the joint holding it at his lips for a few seconds as he inhaled once again , holding the smoke in for a few long seconds before blowing it right into johnny’s face . ‘ your turn . ’
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johnny.
closed starter // @ofmiscreants.
fingers tremble obviously as he flicks on his lighter, & johnny has to huff out an embarrassed laugh at himself. his heart’s been stuck in his throat for the past few hours, although every couple of minutes it’ll sink as he’s hit again with reality, guilt — worse, the understanding that cody probably hates him now, that maybe he’d deserve it, for whatever excuses he could offer. it hadn’t taken long before he couldn’t stand fucking around behind the counter with his stomach churning as a reminder of his own shitty, selfish, wimpy choices — & so here they were now, finally making good on that promise of a smoke in milo’s car, after johnny had finally broken and admitted: fuck, i can’t be here right now. i need — some air, i don’t know. he’s unusually selfish now that they’re here, lets himself be the one to take the first hit, a deep inhale that he holds longer than normal, until it hurts. he breathes out & then laughs again, though it’s more than a little inappropriate. his laughter ends on a sigh, bitter. ‘ this is such fucking bullshit, man. ’ he passes the joint over, knocking his head back against the seat of the car. ‘ i… — i would’ve told him, if i thought they were gonna start fucking around again. i asked him the other day, & got some lie about how cole was just making him breakfast or whatever — ’ making his excuses is much easier in this car with milo, milo who’s almost in the same boat, than begging for forgiveness from someone who doesn’t seem to want him to even try.
this hadn't quite been what milo expected when they decided to smoke together .. but what better reason did they have ? he'd been glued to his phone for what felt like hours now , attempting to fix one of the only good things he had and even milo could feel the sickening feeling of guilt twisting in his stomach and he was doing his damndest to bite back the bitter words .. with a few casualties in the form of customers . but there was no argument as they locked the doors and milo was slumping along with johnny until finding the comfort of his front seat . he'd stayed quiet , eyes building as he waited .. and waited for a text from cody before the voice beside him pulled him back into reality . head slumping back the seat , only turning to watch johnny , listening as he spoke , reaching out for the joint and inhaling deeply . eyes fell closed briefly , it had been a long time since he'd felt .. this defeated and he was honestly thankful he could at least talk to SOMEONE about it all . ‘ he told me the same thing .. ’ milo let out a dry laugh before the smoke was slowly being blown from his lips , head shaking in disbelief . ‘ i would have too . he didn't tell me until after we got in a stupid fight .. i don't even KNOW why he was so mad at me but somehow .. ’ there was a roll of his eyes , taking another quick hit before passing the joint over and a groan was slipping from parted lips . ‘ he'll come around .. he will . he'll realize that we care and that no one was trying to attack him and .. it'll be okay . ’ despite his words , there was no hope . he knew better .. ‘ we just have to try and not think about it too much . ’
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logan.
purring engine comes to a stop as she turns the car off. fingers tap on the bottom of her steering wheel and she’ll pretend to fiddle with the mirror, adjusting and then readjusting in attempt to hide what she was actually doing —- looking at herself. the way she courses her fingers through her hair may have been a tip off. ‘ it’ll be fine. there’ll be, like, a hundred people there —- how much of a scene could a man who cares more about his reputation than his own daughter possibly make ? ’ there were times that logan felt plagued by the constant hustle that her father’s worklife provided. and since the sudden departure of her mother, the man had flung himself even further into his job. even though she understood the need for distraction, the girl harboured very little respect for the man who raised her, and then distance between them seemed ever growing. ‘ right. shall we ? ’ she could feel her fingertips tingling with nerves and only realised she was holding her breath when she was starved for oxygen —- something that quickly resulted in her necessary sharp intake of air as hand wraps desperately around his.
hopes up the moment logan began justifying this idea , acting as if this was a genuinely good idea while milo imagined everything that could go wrong . this was a real gamble .. but they were already here and all he could do was try and be there for his friend . even if it was one of the least comfortable situations he's ever put himself in . ‘ alright well .. let's put our happy faces on and just enjoy ourselves , okay ? ’ forcing eye contact for longer than he'd managed since she'd picked him up , he gave a nod of assurance despite his own skepticism . lips pulling into a wide grin , one balancing back out into a straight line as he was exiting his side of the vehicle and swiftly walking around to let her out , reaching out to take her hand . ‘ we shall , ’ milo responds , keeping a tight grip on logan's hand as he lead the way inside . it was luxurious to say the least .. giant chandelier lighting up the massive lobby , feet carrying him through the lavish hotel toward the ballroom with much thanks to the golden plaques marking the right path . stopping as they reached the closed doors , the sound of laughter mixing with mingled conversations , and all he wanted to do was turn and run .. apologize profusely and get the hell out .. but logan was counting on him . ‘ maybe we should .. head to the bar first , ’ milo was suggesting as he finally tugged open the door , eyes immediately scanning for the familiar man . ‘ a little liquid courage before .. ’ voice trailing off as his gaze danced across the room , stopping only briefly as he locked eyes with none other than logan's father , immediately yanking her in the direction of the open bar . ‘ he's probably busy greeting people , lets get a drink . ’
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mina.
atmosphere filling mina with a slew of both calamity and anxiety , a feeling she could never quite put her finger on . mina felt safe here , and even if history was to repeat itself , mina would be suprised to find herself anywhere else. her heart races at the touch ; this is bad , this is not a good idea , but mina continues to indulge in the cycle anyway . ❝ they did , but you don’t have to worry about missing me anymore . ❞ a sense of uncertainty lingers in the tone , but she keeps this layered away , in no mood to ruin things when were going so good . her eyes follow the turning of the lock with a flutter in her chest ; this didn’t feel real - there was no fucking way it was real . but it was , and she wouldn’t put up a fight . welcoming the embrace , her head falls back , just enough to find milo’s gaze . a moment of silence follows a quick turn on her heel , a devilish grin tugging at the corners of her mouth . ❝ you say that like it’s a bad thing , babe . ❞ mina sings a teasing tune , a eyebrows raised for a challenge . wanting to enjoy the good moments while they lasted , mina wastes no time to cut to the chase , words without concern falling from her tongue . ❝ so , about the whiskey .. ❞
sometimes he wondered .. what exactly she was thinking ? it wasn't like their track record was impressive, for as many times as they've come together they have had almost as many closed doors and emotionally heightened goodbye's . yet here they were .. finger tips grazing the skin peaking out from the hem of her shirt and the warmth radiating from her had gotten all too comfortable . ‘ good , i'm not a fan of missing you . ’ a low hum followed , loosening his grasp as she was turning to face him and his own gaze was settling on the angelic smile shining back at him . how had she ended up with him ? it wasn't like milo didn't like mina .. a lot , but like didn't mean a lot for a guy like him . ‘ if you asked anyone else , they'd probably tell you it was a very bad thing .. terrible , really , ’ the male teased , leaning forward until their forehead met gently and he was managing to tug her smaller frame against his own . ‘ is that all you're here for — came all this way just for the alcohol ? ’ tone playful now , taking slow steps forward as he carefully guided her inside further and inward toward the kitchen . ‘ maybe i wanted to catch up before the giggles hit you , ’ milo added , stopping once he was able to press her back against the kitchen door frame . ‘ on the rocks ? i also picked up some mixers , i thought options would be nice . ’
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