oh-shit-what-time-is-it

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sometimes it's OK to skip a song you like when u don't feel like it at that moment. u r not hurting its feelings

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love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

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drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

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Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

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"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

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*looks at books* too tired for you *looks at films* too tired for you *looks at art supplies* too tired for you *eyes fall on tumblr* oho ho

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i forgot to post this but which one of you lame ass nerds works at my dentists old office

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have we tried sitting completely still in a dark room, my liege?

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You never recover from being weird in middle school

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Some of my favorite hobbies are counting my chickens before they hatch, putting all my eggs in one basket, crying over spilled milk, barking up the wrong tree, and above all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

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sorry I can't respond to your text bc I need to die a thousand deaths for some reason

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"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

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thinking about the episode of Lucky Star where they go see Saw 3 at the movie theater

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when the door is a thousand year