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[oh2e]

[oh2e]

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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Daily Mirror, England, April 8, 1920

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Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one

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After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

[oh2e]

Something about Raylan being given the advice to stay away from Boyd and Ava at the end of episode 8, and then he comes to see Boyd being released and have a little chit-chat, immediately before purposefully ignoring a call from Ava, speaks to me.

So yeah my consumption of Walton Goggins' filmography is actually going spectacular and I am more into the cowboy lawman show than I thought I would be.

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deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

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I would never be mean to my friend and lover public transport but the bus does take the piss sometimes

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I LOVE IT WHEN ENDINGS CIRCLE BACK TO THE BEGINNING!!!

I LOVE IT WHEN CHARACTERS MIRROR EACH OTHER!!!!!

I LOVE IT WHEN CHARACTERS SEAL THEIR FATES IN THEIR FIRST SCENES!!!!

I LOVE IT WHEN CHARACTERS' GREATEST TRAITS ARE ALSO WHAT DOOM THEM IN THE END!!!!!

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POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

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as a certified mountain goats girlie i’m here to tell you that we’ve done enough circulating of “i hope you die / i hope we both die” from no children & now it’s time to circulate these lyrics from you were cool instead

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why are they sitting like two teenage girls who are also on a date in a scary b movie

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I hate how every app is moving to a dark mode and pushing it on people because fuck no. I appreciate offering the option depending on what people prefer but all the words hit me over the head and dance about on dark mode so it’s not very helpful for me

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honestly a good adaptation of discworld would do wonders for the visual comedy already present in the books like imagine carrot's intro. we focus on his face as his father tells him he's not actually a dwarf. they're both facing each other. camera is focusing on their faces. the big reveal comes. heartbreaking music plays as carrot blinks away tears. "im not a dwarf?" he asks, his voice breaking. "but-" we pan out and carrot is 6 foot something, bent over even while sitting and mr. ironfoundersson barely fucking comes up to his waist as he reaches out and pats his knee 💔