ohnoitsjic

[ohnoitsjic]

Ice Creams & My Dreams

January 27, 2019 (Sunday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

It’s Sunday, bitches. And today’s supposed to be the blessed fun day, but waking up in a total nightmare is not much of a blessed one. You know, I should’ve change that title, but ice creams and dreams has such a good rhyme. So, should I tell you now my epicly scary nightmare? What do you think? Are you ready to take some of my pie? What am I mumbling about, okay, here goes my nightmare: My mom already finds out about my dad having an affair. You’re probably thinking right now why I’m being such a baby, it’s just a dream, a bad dream. Well, honey beetch, guess what? That “affair” is more than just a nightmare, it’s real. And it’s one of the reasons why I started to write this blog: to write about it, to write what I feel about it and maybe ask for your advises? Oh well, this is totally my TOP SECRET right now and I haven’t figured out yet what actions would I take on this scary secret. So, I’ll gonna talk about it when I’m ready, because tonight is just not the right night, really.

Sighs. I almost spill the biggest bean there, huh? But so much for that, let me continue first where we left off last night (nothing interesting happened today, anyway).

CONTINUATION: So, after all the cleaning and teaching on our community, I waited 4 hours for my friends to arrive, we have this project and we need to look for hotels and document that we actually went there, we’re supposed to interview the staffs and ask about the services they offered (specifically catering) but when we’re in the hotel, we keep pushing each other because we’re shy as hell to talk with the staffs. We end up asking the same questions over and over again, and it’s sooooo embarrassing, like, I really have to put five ‘o’s there to show how embarrass I am. I don’t usually feel like this when we had this kind of projects before, but when you are assigned to a group who has a lot of self-confidence issues, you’ll totally end up having that kind of issue as well. And these two friends of mine has a lot of those, one of them has a problem with her tooth and the other one is still a virgin (which I don’t really know why she’s making it an issue, well the fact is we’re living in a place where virginity is totally a priority) that’s why I decided to call them names like Little Miss Toothless and Emotional Virgin.

So, after we finished visiting all the hotels (there were four hotels we visited), Little Miss Toothless suggested to buy ice cream. And I was like, what the hell is wrong with this toothless bitch, can’t she feel the freezing air? I was already wearing a winter jacket even though we’re in a tropical side because the weather was cold as ice but the bitch was asking for an ice cream? Oh dear, she really has an issue...in her brain! Duh! Hahaa! Okay chill, JLa, let the bitch explain herself. And she did. According to her, there’s a one shop in the city that sells a different candy (I know, it is supposed to be “Ice cream” but candy fits in the sentence perfectly, and it both have sugar so why bother). We went to the shop and holy moly, there really is a different candy, I mean Ice cream. Toblerone, Oreo and Kit Kat? All this time I only thought they’re just bunch of chocolates, I didn’t realize they were Ice creams too. Oh, Jesus! That was a YUM! I’m totally going back to that shop and buy some more. Why on earth we just know about this now? It was insane...really insane. And I think this entry is also getting insanely long, so I guess I’ll end this here and get back to you, bitches, on my next blog. Till next time.

Toodles, bitches!

xoxo,

JLa 

[ohnoitsjic]

Between Dreams And Reality

January 28, 2019 (Monday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

I just had the most A-MAAAZING dream last night. I don’t know why but maybe it’s my brain’s way to retrieve with my nightmare the other night. And for those bitches there who complains about me talking about my dreams and nightmares, just please zip it, and let me rule here. This is my diary, not yours *smiles slowly*.  So anyway, back to my dream: I went to New York and met my idol, Troye Sivan. Hell yeah! I did, and not just met—met, I also took a couple of selfies with him, with my arms over his shoulders (can you picture that, huh?) I went there with my manager, and YES, I have a manager, well, not literally a manager but she looks like one though. She also wants me to call her the manager because she wants me to become famous...in instagram. She takes my pictures, edits it and even made captions for it (she was also the one who made the description about me for this blog, which I totally love because she knows me very well).

TO MANAGER: And if you read this by any chance, you’ll totally know that I am talking about YOU (btw, she’s also the classmate I mentioned in my fourth entry).

The only bad about dreams is that the moment you open your eyes, it’ll made you realize that it is not real, too far from reality, actually. But dreams are pretty amazing though, I can’t imagine how dreams take you from one place to another in just for a second. First scene I was in New York, and then the next I’m back to where I came from and with different people. The only thing I am sure that it’s still connected somehow is because I showed them the pictures of me and Troye. Amazing, right? But the fact that my dreams can take me anywhere in the world and make me meet new different faces is beyond okay for me, if that’s the case every night, I’m willing to let dreams control my life (as long as it is not a nightmare, of course).

Moving on from dreamland, let’s see how my sweet dreams affect my life today, shall we?

Since today is Monday, I had to get back to my dorm because I have a class by 5pm, and yes, you read it right, I do have a dorm but I don’t always stay (and sleep) there because of some reasons: I don’t like my roomies, the Wi-Fi is slower than a turtle, it’s so hot as hell there (the only way we can grab for some air is by the useless wall fan above my bed), it has a very tiny wardrobe that I can only put five or six outfits in (it’s more like a cupboard than a wardrobe. And it’s not a fucking Narnia inside), it has a very small comfort room (I can’t barely move) that has a broken door and a broken toilet, and lastly, YOU CAN’T FIND EVEN A SINGLE MIRROR in the room. I still have to use the screen of my phone to check myself. How pathetic, right? Now, if you’re wondering why I stayed there in the first place, well, everything back there was PERFECTION until the day my roommates stayed in. The moment they arrived, I didn’t feel comfortable anymore and everything in the room is a total disaster, so I decided to sleep there only if I have classes beyond 8pm. And I do, but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My friends keep telling me to stay there so that we can have a lot of time for our bitchiness, but I don’t really feel like it. Especially now that the toilet is broken (you know how much I love to spend a lot of time in the comfort rooms).

So, when I arrived in my dorm this afternoon, guess who I caught lying like a hippo in my precious comfy bed? I actually don’t know since I don’t get the names of my roomies. All I know is they’re a bunch of skunks who doesn’t know how to clean, they don’t even know how to spell the word “clean” for all I know. But since I am such a kindhearted bitch, I just smiled at him and said it was okay, well the fact is, it is totally not. Gosh! Get off of my you black dugong! You even have the guts to lie in my bed shirtless? Wow! Just WOW! Okay, shirtless guys are one of my favorite scenery but this guy is a mess. A total mess! I am so pissed off right now, but I just don’t know how to let it out. So, I just kept it to myself and decided to leave instead.

After class, I lied to my friends that my cousin needs my help with his project while the truth is; I just want to go home. There is no way I will sleep there (dorm) tonight, especially when I saw that un-flushed poo in the dirty toilet (excuse me if you’re eating while reading this) gross! (Oh God, I hope my cousins really go on with their plan to live in a dorm soon so I can stay with them already).

I realized how I needed an exercise today, so I decided to walk my way to the station. Thank God, Chatterbox (one of my closest friend in college) decided to walk with me. And as expected (as always) she keeps on talking the whole way and it’s so freaking annoying already, she keeps on talking the same topic over and over and over again: about this guard who didn’t allow her to enter because she accidentally left her ID inside the campus (during her morning class) Gosh! If this bitch has a switch button, I’m totally pressing it. But still, I’m so thankful for her though (thanks, love).

So that (so far) was the highlight of my crazy Monday, bitches. What a day, right? Now if you’ll ask me how my sweet dream affects my day? Uhmmm not much, really. I hope tomorrow will be much better because I AM GOING TO SLEEP in my dorm and it will going to be a nightmare again, that’s for sure. Bye for now, I’ll update you with my disaster dorm story soon.

Toodles, bitches!

xoxo,

JLa

[ohnoitsjic]

Mentos Girl

January 26, 2019 (Saturday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

*Yawns* I woke up so very early today (thanks to my very trusted alarm clock for waking me up). It actually goes off by 5am but I kept on pressing the snooze button because I honestly not feeling like waking up yet. I’m so tired and sleepy; I still need a year or two of sleep right now. But the PROBLEM is (here we go again with the big fat P), I had this stupid Saturday class (which sucks) to attend to (where we have to clean this tiny poor community), so I guess it’s not much of a class though, more like a community service kind of thing, and yeah, it still sucks big time. And one more reason why I still didn’t want to get out of bed this morning was because of this freezing weather. I live in a place where it is sunny all the time but when it rains, it’s as cold as Iceland. Well, today actually stopped raining but the weather’s still cold and I had to face the coldest thing ever in the morning...SHOWER! It was so cold, I wanna die right now. And the fact that there was no electricity is an obvious proof that my life is a total disaster. I haven’t told you this yet, but my life is a hot damn mess. I’m ugly af, I think I’m dying (literally) and I don’t know what to do with my pointless existence in this goddamn fuckin’ world anymore.

As I am writing this, I am also listening to an old Taylor Swift song, “22″ (I’m older than that, if you’re wondering). I’m riding a bus on my way to uni right now, well okay, it’s actually not a bus, but it’s close to a bus, you know what I mean? (I think not). Well, I don’t want to waste my precious little time explaining to you, guys, this thing that I am riding right now. I only have 20 minutes to uni, so I’ll just get back to you, later bitches!

11 hours later...

I’m baaack! And by back, I mean back at home and I’ve got a lot of stories to tell you, crazy bitches. So, when I arrived at uni this morning, I was having second thought of going inside the campus, because my bitchfriend a.k.a Mentos Girl just texted me, saying that she’s sick and tired and she keeps vomiting. I dunno why, but I think she’s preggy. Oh dear, I hope not. By the way, if in case you’re wondering why I called her such nickname, well, here’s why: last term of the second semester, we were classmates/seatmates in Speech (which by the way, my second time taking this class because unfortunately, I failed the first time. Not because I’m dumb or what but it just happen that I was also having my internship that time and I missed a lot of quizzes and presentations. I guess multi-tasking is not my best friend. Now back to Mentos Girl) and just like the usual first day of classes, especially that it was a Speech class, we were asked by our professor to introduce ourselves in front of the class. And since that subject was right after lunch break, we don’t have the time to brush our teeth. Thank goodness this pretty girl on my left offered me a minted candy (mentos). And that is the story of Mentos Girl. I always called her that nickname since then, especially when I learned that she always keeps a mentos every time she goes to class.

This blog is a way too long already and I am tired as a granny. A lot had happened today so might as well continue this tomorrow. Tomorrow’s a Sunday anyway, nothing much to do. So I guess I’ll see you then *rolls eyes* (in my dreams).

Toodles, bitches.

xoxo,

JLa

[ohnoitsjic]

Where The Heck Are The Mallows?

January 23, 2019 (Wednesday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

I had a lot of fun last night because my classmate and I walked around the city area after class. We’ve been planning before that we should have a night photoshoot downtown, and finally, we’ve done it last night. I’m totally posting it on my instagram soon.

Since today is Wednesday, that means, no class for me (cause in my university, Wednesdays are activity days, but it’s more of a lazy day, really). Cassidy, Maddison, Nadia and I had another brilliant plan today: we’re planning to spend our Wednesday at Cassidy’s and watch tons and tons of movies (how’d that sound? Lazy, right?) Just so you know, bitches, Cassidy had the most monstrous television in the world and by “monstrous” I mean HUGE AF (okay, maybe I’m super exaggerating that, but it’s true). They don’t own it actually, but they’re keeping it for the meantime. You’re probably wondering and have a lot of questions right now, but bitches, this post is not about the fucking TV, okay? So moving on now. Maddison and Nadia said that they’ll just be meeting us at Cassidy’s, so it’ll be just me and Cassidy who are going to buy foods for the moviemar (short for movie marathon, obvi). But, one bitch decided to join the fun. At first, I was hesitant to let her join us because I’m not really that close to her yet, but it turned out that she’s way more fun to be with, so hell yeah! Cassidy and I decided to meet at the convenience store where we’ll be buying our yummies. And when I got there, another bitch decided to show up, Jenessa, which made me so so happy because as you all (don’t) know, this bitch is one of the favorite friends of mine, and we missed her so so much (she’s a working student FYI, that’s why we don’t see her that much. But her house is next to my grannies), of all my favorite friends, Jenessa is the most voluble. She’s also the tallest and the loudest (literally), if she talks, you can still hear her even if you’re 3000 miles away (no joke). Okay, that was a joke, but she’s still too loud.

The minute we saw each other at the convenience store, she immediately ran into me, screaming and shouting like a total retarded bitch. But instead of stopping her, I just smiled and gave her a big big hug and kisses, because I missed her so much. If Maddy and Nadia were here too, they’ll definitely do the same. Everyone in the store was looking at us, some were smiling seeing us happy, but some were probably pissed off because even a professional artist couldn’t draw their frowning faces. It was around 11am and there were not a lot of costumers in the store, so every time Jenessa laughs and shout, we can clearly hear her voice echoing the halls. Their classmate (the one who shouldn’t be named yet, because I’m still thinking of a perfect nickname for her), kept stopping Jenessa from being so loud, but knowing Jenessa, no one can stop her, not even your mother (*Your Mother* is a funny statement in my country, but you probably won’t get it since it should be spoken in my native language). Back to the store, we’re still having a good time, even though everyone’s eyes were at us already. Who cares? We’re popular you know, so keep those burning eyes at us. Aside from being annoying and the noisiest customers in the store, we also had a lot of funny moments, especially Cassidy. Hahaa. Cassidy, Cassidy, Cassidy, you never fail to own the circus spotlight. That’s why I love my friends so much, because they always bring out the happy giggly side of me. We keep on walking around like we own the place, laughing, giggling and shouting. We leave the store with too much tears of joy. Not to mention, some of the boys who were asking to be our toys (I love it when the words rhymes).

Since Cassidy really wanted to play “Chubby Bunny” challenge for her vlog (which I honestly have no idea what game it was), we decided to go to a pastry shop to buy some mallows (short for marshmallows). We went inside and as usual, we started spreading bitchiness there as well. This is Cassidy and her classmate’s first time here in the shop, so Jenessa was acting little-miss-know-it-all and led us where the mallows were, but ended giving us an idiot laugh because she led us to the wrong place. Can you imagine taking the stairs up and down because she thought that the mallows were upstairs? And how pathetic it is that this poor shop doesn’t own an elevator or even escalators. I had a doubt when Jenessa said that the mallows were upstairs because my mom used to buy stuffs here for her cakes. And every time I tagged along, I don’t remember mom going up the stairs to look for the mallows. But Jenessa looked so sure when she said “it’s upstairs”. And Becca (the other bitch who decided to join us, and yes, the one who shouldn’t be named? Guess what, I found the perfect nickname for her), asked me about my mom and does my mom used to bake cakes? And I said yes, maybe she was also thinking that I knew where the mallows were.

After Jenessa led us to the balloons and party hat’s station, we then went downstairs and searched for the mallows, laughing. Finally, we found it together with the other sweet stuffs. Becca even joked about it and said “It was in the basement pala, that’s why we couldn’t find it”. And she was right; the mallows were placed in some kind of underground floor (I don’t know how to explain it, basta it is lower than the first floor). Jenessa’s stupidity didn’t end there, when she paid for the mallows, she couldn’t help herself from laughing because of what had happen. She even forgot to take the receipt and went back to get it. Crazy J!

This’ll probably be a very long post but I don’t care, I’m having so much fun telling you this story. So, let’s get back to it, shall we?

After all the shopping disaster we had, we decided to go home because we still have to cook for our lunch (brunch for me because I haven’t eaten my breakfast yet, *after a moment of thinking* oh, I actually did, what a forgetful little bitch am I). On our way home, we couldn’t help ourselves from taking videos and selfies from Cassidy’s phone (because she was the only one who had a nice phone, that’s why). So, as you all know, guys, I actually don’t know why did I just say that, ya’ll obviously don’t know, right? Stupid me. But anyway, we live in a mountainous area, so we had to ride another ride (does that make sense?). When we’re almost at the top of the mountain (hahaa sorry, I’m running out of English here), the driver had to unload some passengers because it was too heavy for a bumpy ride. There were five of us all, including Mr. Driver, and since Becca and Jenessa were seated at the far end, the two of them had to sacrifice. The funny thing was, when Becca thought that the driver will just return to fetch them, but actually, he’s not. He just asked them to walk all the way to Cassidy’s (we’re almost at Cassidy’s anyway, so it’s not really that big of a sacrifice).

Jenessa decided to visit her mom first so she went straight to their house and Becca went with her because she haven’t been to Jenessa’s house before (we only have a quiet little neighborhood so our houses here are just a walking distance). Meanwhile, me and Cassidy went straight to their house and started cooking lunch. When Jenessa and Becca arrived, Jenessa volunteered that she wanted to cook the lunch. We all agreed immediately since we all know that Jenessa can cook way more delish than the three of us (even though I’m studying HRM, Jenessa is still the “Cook Diva”, as what we always called her when we’re still kids). We’re genuinely having a lot of fun the whole time, especially after we ate our lunch, we’ve watched movies and talked about a lot of girl’s stuffs hahaa. Until Jenessa decided to go ahead because she still need to go back to school for her exam. Becca stayed a little longer and even had her nails polished by Cassidy. As always, we waited for Maddison and Nadia to arrive but, again, they didn’t. So, we decided to postpone our “Chubby Bunny” challenge because it was getting dark already and Becca also need to go. While she was passionately waiting for her ex-boyfriend to fetch her up *clears throat*, the oh-so-fashionably late, Maddison, decided to show up with a big great smile. Just great. More chit-chats and gossips and we also updated our disco plan this saturday. By 8pm, Maddison and I walked home together since her house is just next to mine.

So, that’s all for today, ladies and gents. A lot more had happen during this day but I don’t think I can still be able to type the rest. My fingers are totally numb and tired already, and my brain is totally empty. So, goodbye and have a good Wednesday night.

Toodles, bitches!

xoxo,

JLa

[ohnoitsjic]

Expect The Unexpected

January 22, 2018 (Tuesday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

This is just going to be a short entry because nothing much happened this day, I just want to share with you guys this unexpected moment I had with my favorite friends. Here we go...

Cassidy and I planned yesterday that we’re going to uni together today (because as always, not that I’m complaining or something, but she needed my pretty help for her project). We started walking, going to the shed by around 1pm and we cannot believe what happened next. Maddison and Nadia were going to the city as well (talk about coincidences). That feeling when you surprisingly saw your friends, and you don’t know how to react? That was exactly what the four of us felt. We just stared at each other with mouths wide open (slightly smiling). For about five seconds, we did that and then we laughed at ourselves. We totally looked like a complete idiots back then.

While we’re on our way to the city, we did the usual thing we do every time we’re together...CHIT-CHAT! Not caring who else was in the bus (it’s actually not a bus, but I like to call it BUS, it looks like one though). We talked about what happened yesterday at Cassidy’s and we even showed to Maddison the video that we made for her birthday. I guess she didn’t liked it though, because she didn’t even finished the whole video, or maybe because she’s more interested to the talking right now than watching. We we’re talking kasi about this disco that will be happening soon on our pretty little town this Saturday. And knowing Maddy, she’s really into discos; it’s her thing you know. She’s actually the party animal in the group. That ride was a lot of fun; we also took pictures together, well, not really together—together because someone has to take the photo. We can’t just do the selfie because the ride was so bumpy (I don’t even know why, maybe there’s something wrong with the engine or something).

When we arrived at the city, we part ways. Cassidy and I said our goodbyes to the sisters because they need to go somewhere to apply for a job (wow, what a decent human beings they’ve become now). After that not-so-very-touching moment, I helped Cassy with her project. We went to every shop we could find that sells newspapers. We were looking for a certain article in the paper (which is very hard to find). We ended up not having even one paper in our poor little hands. We (also) almost have a fight with one of the sellers in the shop. Paano ba naman kasi, the bitch was acting, well, you know, a BITCH. It looked like she didn’t want to earn money and she wanted us to look somewhere else. What the hell, bitch? Don’t you want to sell your dusty pile of trash? Looks like she hasn’t sold anything yet, there were still a lot of newspapers all over her shop. If I throw a lighting cigarette in it, her shop would definitely be on fire, for sure. And bitch I’m not helping. Even if the bitch was the one on fire and I happen to have a glass of water? I rather drink it and make the refreshing “aaahh” sound.

Anyway, this is totally not a short entry anymore, is it? That’s all for now then.

Toodles, bitches.

xoxo,

JLa

[ohnoitsjic]

Feels Like The Good Ol’ Days

January 21, 2019 (Monday)

Hey there, Tumblr!

This week is definitely one of the best weeks of my 2019 so far. I and my favorite friends made a lot of memories together and it feels like the old times. It’s so good that we’re doing these crazy things early this year, because that means, we still have a lot of basket to fill for a lot of memories the whole year. So, let me begin when I ditch school and decided to spend the whole day at Cassidy’s.

I’ve been praying and wishing the whole Sunday night that the news my classmate sent me was true (classes on Monday will be cancelled due to a heavy storm and endless rain). But guess what, the freaking storm just decided to leave town and making damn classes resumed. And by the way, it took the electricity too, which is DAMN! But anyhow, I for a fact has this lazy-kind of attitude, so I decided to treat myself a little day off instead (because why not?). Just in time, Cassidy’s mom went here at Lola’s and told me to give big C a little visit today, because the butty-bitchy-wannabe has no class (it’s their midterm’s, that’s why). Minutes later, big C texted me, saying “Bitch, come over to my place and blah blah blah yadda yadda”. Thinking it’s a very good idea, I immediately took a shower and rush over big C’s little mansion.

When I arrived there, naabutan ko siyang nagwawalis sa labas. I was supposed to scare the butt out of her but that didn’t happen because I was calling Nadia over the phone (asking her to come over as well). So, big C (wait, why am I keep calling her big C?) well anyway, Cassidy immediately glanced where I was standing the moment she heard me talking (or shall I say, whispering). A little chit-chat is been going on between us while I’m fashionably waiting for her to finish polishing the dust (flowery words for sweeping the surroundings). Until such topic that something very important pops-out from our brainy little minds...Maddison’s birthday is actually today! And we almost forget about it. We immediately texted Nadia to bring the birthday girl with her so we can celebrate together (BTW, Maddison and Nadia are sisters). Lunchtime had passed, one movie is almost done (Alice in Wonderland) and the two bitches are not here yet. So, Cassidy and I decided to have a little play with her new phone, after watching tons of YouTube videos we decided to make our own vlogs too. On the vlogs are just random craziness and shits that we’ve always been love doing ever since: We’re talking about how ugly we are, showing our teeth to see how the “baking soda magic trick” made a difference, reading scripts from our all-time favorite TV show, “Iisa Pa Lamang”. I even let Cassidy read one of my diary entries about them. And since the birthday girl looks like not coming over anytime soon, we decided to create a video for her instead. Wishing her a happy happy birthday and even sing for her. What a shame!

The day ends with us watching all the videos we took on the TV. We even planned to make a lot of videos soon and create a YouTube channel for Cassidy *fingers crossed*, I hope it’ll come true. Because if you know us so well, “Promises are ABSOLUTELY made to be broken” is our goddamn motto. Talk to you soon.

Toodles, bitches!

xoxo,

JLa

[ohnoitsjic]

The First Secret

January 19, 2019 (Saturday)

Hey there, Tumblr! ...and whoever is reading this.

So, I finally find the right site for me to post my tantrums, rants or even dramas in life. Matagal-tagal ko na rin kasing pinaplano na gumawa ng blog or diary where I can share anything that goes out my insanely beautiful mind (whether it’s a happy, sad, embarrassing or scary). Actually, may diary na ako dati, and it’s the old style, you know, yung notebook and pen lang? But the things that I only wrote there were about my friends, and hindi siya nagtagal because I got bored at nakakatamad siya kasi masakit sa kamay. You really need to have a lot of energy when you’re doing it, especially if you’re like me na masyadong madiin kung magsulat. So, I decided to upgrade it into a blog. It’s still like a diary but in a techie way. I’ve been searching on the internet if what’s the best site to create a blog, and there were a lot of suggestions popping up the screen. But this site (Tumblr) for me is just the best. It’s just so me!

I can even share to you guys my secrets here... or even my family’s secrets or my friends’, and if ikaw yung klase na tao na masyadong chismosa, I can also share to you my friend’s friends’ secrets *evil smirk*. If you know me personally, which obviously you don’t, I’m the type of person who keeps a lot of secrets. And some of them are DARK, even darker than your pathetic armpits. I am also the type of person whom you can trust (or maybe not?). That is why, some of my friends and cousins shared their secrets with me, and feel free to share yours too, there is nothing wrong with that, it’s totally fine with me, really. We’re friends now, right? And friends share secrets, that’s what keeps us close. Trust me, I’ll be your secret keeper *smile and winks*.

So, speaking of secrets, this post, bitches, is entitled “The First Secret” for I am about to tell you, well obviously, my first secret, and that is... *drum roll* ...my identity. Shocker, huh? I know it’s starting to sound so complicated right now, but let me un-complicate it for you, okay? I want this blog to be as mysterious as the stories I love to read on Wattpad. This way, I can say (or write) whatever I want without being judged. I might also talk about my friends here so it’s better to be safe than sorry. And I’ve also decided to keep the mystery theme running by not showing my face and not sharing my name. So, hell yeah! But you can call me a “bitch” though, because that is what I’m calling you (sometimes). And by the way, this bitch is no angel so I want you, my co-bitches, to expect more “shits” and “bullshits” around here.

I can’t show nor tell you my identity but I can give you some clues: I love to read and I also love to write, but English is not my first language so pretty please be aware that my English is bad as hell. Also, I don’t feel like writing this using my native language a lot, because that is just sooo lame (not that I’m not proud or anything, trust me, I am very proud where I came from, no doubt (which you probably figured out where, the minute you read the first paragraph) but I just can’t). Need more clues? Well, I can’t tell you yet if I’m a girl or a boy, or if I’m gay or tomboy, but I can assure you, guys, that I’m not a toy... or a freakin’ robot, which my computer always thought I was (if you know what I mean). But guess what? My “tanga” talent just kicked in. By looking at the avatar I picked, I guess you probably know by now what kind of monster I am. Oh, well! Welcome to my colorful rainbowed life (if “rainbowed” is count as a word. Told ya, my English is bad. Probably why I got 3 in my speech class).

Anyway, more clues about my identity on my future posts, just make sure you get it right, or else, we’ll end up getting a fight. But wait! We can’t go on with this blog thingy without you calling me some name, right? Or at least a nickname, perhaps. So, if you’ll ask me if what’s my freakin’ nickname? I’ll just say, honey, chill, and let’s get this real. My name is trouble. And if this blog posts leaked, I’ll definitely be in so much trouble. Hahaa!

Toodles, bitches.

xoxo,

JLa