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tagged by @xxmarvelouslifexx! thank you for the tag! my main 10 always on loop songs are:

-> norwegian wood (this bird has flown) by the beatles

-> choo lo by the local train

-> space girl by frances forever

-> if u think i'm pretty by artemas

-> lavender haze by taylor swift

-> brooklyn baby by lana del rey

-> us and pigs by sofia isella

-> icarus by tony ann

-> fighter by prateek kuhad

-> we fell in love in october by girl in red

tagging @lemurious and @catos-wound <3

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the senators started moving hesitantly [caligula, albert camus]

This book is way more entertaining and funny that I thought it'd be.

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Antony, Trebonius, conversations years apart. Dolabella and Caesar are here too. kind of.

Roman Siege Warfare, John Levithan

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta

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Still think this is the funniest Hannibal post I’ve ever seen

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Pleading guilty to homonormativity

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sending you encouragement for your upcoming cassius/antony fics and writing in general! i very much enjoyed your antony/caesar even if it might not be your own favorite anymore <3 but the tiny and dedicated fandom is the brighter for you in it! <3 may the muses visit! <3 <3

oh my god thank you so much! this is so sweet and it means a lot to me. i've had a terrible bout of creative loathing but thanks to your amazing fics i think i've overcome it. keeping this fandom alive is a collective responsibility absolutely! may the muses be ever at your side too <333333

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the lgbt+ community has forgiven lucius cornelius sulla

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A TV series about the early Roman emperors, except:

It's a comedy.

It starts with Julius Caesar (who keeps correcting the narrator that he's a dictator, not an emperor, as if it makes any difference).

The narrator skips over military campaigns like the Gallic War and Claudius' conquest of Britain in favor of "Haha check out Augustus' shitty poetry" and "Caesar once tried to overthrow the republic with a wardrobe malfunction."

You can tell the narrator gets bored of certain emperors because he keeps going off on tangents about Julius and Augustus after they're supposed to be dead.

The characters get frustrated because they're trying to act out a serious drama but nooo the narrator would rather gossip and it's only 50% in chronological order.

Some of the characters start pointing out things the narrator says that are physically impossible, don't make logical sense, or which their enemies made up.

Tiberius storms out partway through his episode and the rest of the narrative has him played by a sock puppet voiced by Caligula doing a falsetto.

Caligula attempts to sic the Praetorian guards on the narrator for making up filthy lies about him. Like, he's still a huge dick, just not in the way the narrator claims.

Claudius just wants to teach the audience cool facts about the Etruscans but the narrator talks over him.

Nero is actually a Korean boy band singer who keeps trying to explain to people he's a musician, not the emperor, and isn't sure what he's doing in ancient Rome. No one listens.

Galba is played by Rob Halford, the "stately homo of heavy metal."

Galba, Otho and Vitellius have to share an episode, and even then the narrator half-asses it and leaves with 10 minutes of runtime to fill, at which point the characters (including the dead ones) break into the production studio and reveal the narrator is Suetonius.

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pretty sure sabrina wrote espresso in sulla's pov

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I do have a piece of writing advice, actually.

See, the first time I grew parsnips, I fucked it up good. I hadn't seen parsnips sprouting before, right, and in my eagerness I was keeping a close eye on the row. And every time I saw some intruding grass coming up, I twitched it right out, and went back to anticipating the germination of my parsnips.

But it turns out parsnips take a bit longer than anything else I'd ever grown to distinguish themselves visually. It's just the two little split leaves, almost identical to a newly seeded bit of kentucky bluegrass when they first come up, and they take a good bit to establish themselves and spread out flat before the main stem with its first distinctive scallopy leaf gets going.

I didn't get any parsnips, not that year, because I'd weeded them all out as soon as they showed their faces, with my 'ugh no that's grass' twitchy horticulture finger.

The next year, having in retrospect come to suspect what had happened, I left the row alone and didn't weed anything until all the sprouts coming up had all had a bit to set in and show their colors, and I've grown lots of parsnips since. They're kind of a slow crop, not a huge return, but I like them and watching them grow and digging them up, and their papery little seeds in the second year, if you don't harvest one either on purpose or because you misjudged the frost, so it's worth it.

Anyway, whenever I see someone stuck and struggling with their writing who's gotten into that frustration loop of typing a few words, rejecting them, backspacing, and starting again, I find myself thinking, you gotta stop weeding your parsnips, man.

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As a bisexual, i feel deeply bonded to the amphoteric oxides.

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calling PETRS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Roman Senators)

need that roman senator whimpering. adn crying and injured etc

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okay okay so does anyone else ever think about how the romans could have vandalized the busts of their enemies like "hmmmm his nose was very attractive. change it." or "too much hair, no can do" or is it just me

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This is entirely @tibgracchus, @elainesknight, and @garland-on-thy-brow’s fault (with special thanks to garland-on-thy-brow for coming up with the dialogue that inspired this story!) Anachronisms added for humor, and because this whole story exists in some nebulous timeline in which history has just plain exploded and been precariously stitched back together. For the discussion that inspired this story, please read this thread.

(Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix walks into a room full of people lounging on couches around a table, drinking and generally carousing. He frowns.)

Sulla: Marcus Antonius, what are you doing?!

(Marc Antony, snuggling up next to an attractive person on one of the couches, sits up slightly and raises a cup in Sulla’s direction.)

Marc Antony (slurring slightly): Sulla! Buddy! Glad you could make it, bro! Pull up a hot young thing and have a glass!

(Sulla takes a deep breath, clenches his teeth, and exhales out his nose.)

Sulla: Marcus. Antonius I’m not going to ask again. What. The. Fuck. Are. You. DOING!!

(The room goes silent. Marc Antony’s companion looks at Sulla, visible gulps, and then quickly leaves. The rest of the party-goers follow.)

Marc Antony: Hey, where are y'all goin’? Come back, don’t let Mr. Grumpyface stop the fun! Guys? Guys?!?

(Marc Antony pouts and stands up, swaying slightly. He marches over to Sulla and sticks a finger in his face, accusingly.)

Marc Antony: Hey, man, what the hell is wrong with you!

(Sulla clenches his fists at his sides, and glares at Marc Antony’s finger. Marc Antony glares back for a few seconds, before breaking eye contact and lowering his hand.)

Sulla (in a low, angry tone): What is wrong is that WE need to start getting supplies ready. WE need to start canvassing the Senate so that WE can have an adequate war chest, so that WE can beat the Parthians and celebrate a massive triumph that will finally give us the clout we need to finally out-maneuver that oaf Marius and that prick Octavian, and YOU have been in a drunken stupor since our ship left the harbor!

Marc Antony (makes a raspberry noise and flops back down on a couch, facing away from Sulla): What is your deal all of a sudden, man? You used to like parties! Remember last year, when we hired that troupe of actors and all those dancing girls? Remember how Metrobius and Curio got super wasted and starting stripping, and then we all—

Sulla (interrupting): Yes, yes, and the wine was good and the sex was fun, but now we have to get back to business! Octavian has called for a meeting with the Senate tomorrow, and unless we—

Marc Antony grabs a plate and throws it at the wall.

Marc Antony: Cacat! Fuck that little irrumator!

Sulla (grimaces): I very much doubt that would be any fun. Bit of a cold fish, that one.

Marc Antony: Ha!

Sulla: —But he is very, very good at handling the Senate, so unless we start making preparations NOW, he and Marius are going to—

Marc Antony (turns to face Sulla): Octavian and Marius, Marius and Octavian! I’m so sick and tired of hearing you go on and on about Octavian and Marius! Octavian’s never led a decent campaign in his life! He’s a little nonentity who thinks he’s tough shit just because he hangs around with the Great, Glorious General Marius! It’s Marius who got the credit for beating Jugurtha—

Sulla (interrupting): Stole the credit!

Marc Antony: Right, stole the credit for beating Jugurtha, saved Rome from the Germans, yadda yadda yadda, the Hero of the People, etc. Octavian’s just a little pissant flatterer that Marius tolerates because it inflates his ego.

(Marc Antony flips onto his back and stares forlornly at the ceiling. Sulla walks over, puts his hands on either side of Marc Antony’s head and looks down at him.)

Sulla: So let’s beat Marius, then! One solid military victory and it’ll be YOUR name the plebs are chanting in the streets, your face they’re selling statues of to lonely girls and bored housewives in the market. One good military victory with plenty of loot for Rome’s coffers, and we can overshadow Marius, and our little non-entity Octavian will lose all of his pull in the Senate! We can win this, Antony! You just have to win this one war!

(Marc Antony sits up, pushing Sulla away)

Marc Antony: I…I can’t.

Sulla (stepping back, gritting his teeth): What do you mean, you can’t?

Marc Antony (looks down at the table and then back up at Sulla): They trounced us, Felix! Do you understand?!? It was a disaster! Our infantry was useless against their godsdamned armored cavalry, our archers’ arrows bounced right off, and our cavalry was wiped out left and right by THEIR arrows! We CAN’T beat them!  (pauses, looks down, and then softly) I can’t beat them.

Sulla (throws up his hands and rolls his eyes): Oh, come on, that was one battle! Three months ago! Sure, we needed to come back and raise more troops, but nobody could have anticipated that loss! The Senate and the People of Rome are crying out for vengeance against the Parthians; we are literally in a position to demand whatever troops, funds, and supplies we need, and you’re sitting here moping about ONE LOST BATTLE! You’re…you’re such an idiot pissbaby, Marc Antony!

Marc Antony (rolls onto his back and throws his arm up over his face): I’m a bad general, is what I am, Felix! A total loser! A complete and utter failure as a commander! I should’ve—

Sulla: No, you’re a whiny, little brat who got his ego and bit bruised and is throwing a hissy fit!

Marc Antony: I’m not throwing a hissy fit! I’m dying, Felix! Dying of shame!

Sulla: Oh, for the love of all the gods, stop being such a little baby! Look, Pompey and Cataline were both out governing provinces last year, but they’re both back in Rome, and I’m sure that if you ask nicely, they’d be happy to—

Marc Antony (lowers his arm and looks at Sulla): Babysit me? Steal all the glory? I am NOT crawling to that upstart Picente and that slimy lout begging for help!

Sulla: Then go back to Parthia and win this war by yourself!

Marc Antony: I told you, I CAN’T!

Sulla: Then how, pray tell, is the wealth of the Parthians going to get into the Roman treasury? Do you expect it to get up and walk there by itself! Oh wait, I know! Maybe the Parthians will just GIVE us all their treasure out of pity OF THE INEPT MARC ANTONY, WHO CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO GET HIS LAZY ARSE UP AND ACTUALLY WIN A WAR BY YOURSELF, FOR ONCE!!

Marc Antony: Oh, go fuck yourself!

Sulla (throwing up his hands): Argh! Just do your damned job, Marcus!

Marc Antony: I told you, I CAN’T! I’M DYING, FELIX! DYING!

(Marc Antony  flings his head back and makes sighs dramatically. Sulla facepalms. Then, he looks throw the fingers of the hand on his face, and looks at Marc Antony’s wine cup. Sulla smiles slowly, picks up the cup, and fiddles with something in his sleeve.)

Sulla (whispering): Well, not yet, you’re not.

Marc Antony (rolling to face Sulla, who is holding the cup): What was that?

Sulla (his grin vanishes and he assumes a look of mock-sympathy, then puts the glass on the table and  pushes it towards Marc Antony): I said, you’re right. I was being unsympathetic. C'mon, let’s you and me share some wine, and we’ll come up with a different plan for trouncing Marius, eh? Maybe fight some Gauls, conquer Britannia…

(In a nearby building, watching Marc Antony and Sulla through binoculars, Octavian punches the air in a small, controlled gesture).

Octavian: Yesssss!

(Octavian takes a cell phone out of one of the folds of his toga dials a number. After a slight pause, presumably while the other person picks up, he begins talking in calm, even tone.

Octavian: Good news, Marius, my friend! I’ve requested the Senate meet tomorrow and I can pretty much guarantee that they’re going to grant you command of the Parthian campaign…

Octavian walks through the door, which shuts behind him. Fade to black, end scene.)

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As a rule of thumb, don't reblog donation posts or people asking for donations unless they've been vetted and reblogged by Palestinian bloggers. We usually go to lengths to verify this shit because we know scammers have been faking to get people to send them money, using the urgency of our genocide as bait.

It's disgusting this is what we're dealing with, but people are losing money because of some truly evil people out there.

Accounts don't just randomly spring up on tumblr without gofundmes while asking for someone to help them create a campaign. Fuck out of here with that shit.

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oh shakespeare's julius caesar expert, please elaborate on antony and cassius' speech parallels to me!