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As a former anorexic, my heart aches knowing that Pelle was going through all of that. Not just the mental but the physical toll, he was likely in pain all the time because of it. People don’t talk about how eating disorders truly effect people physically enough, or that men can get them too.

Hard agree, it's heartbreaking.

Anorexia is seen as a female only disorder and Pelle is such a good example, actually. Go and try finding ANYONE from the scene ever saying words "eating disorder" or "anorexia" in relation to Pelle. You won't find shit. It's always just "oh he rarely ate" and "he was so skinny he looked sick" but no one names it - says what it really was.

Even here on tumblr and on ig page, I often get asked about his eating habits as if it was something he was doing on purpose - for the sake of cultivating a certain image. That's what he was saying to people when faced with the uncomfortable questions about food.

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Why is he always queening out

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Manheim and Øystein [Euronymous]

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did pelle not like boots? there's no pictures where he wears them (that i've seen) and all of his friends do/ most people in the scene

What he seemed to have liked is these. I mean, he didn't look like your typical black metal dudebro anyway, he was always looking more like a thrasher and wore such sneakers:

One of the rare occasions when he seemed to have had some sort of boots is this

And on stage, what he wore are some kind of boots that I nicknamed Uggs, but those were probably snow boots from the 80s

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im putting the dork in a blender

He's gonna come out a weird brown color, totally inedible and the worst tart sour smell you've ever seen; a mutual of mine on Twitter drew him being scrambled

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øystein's dad/family is such an interestung topic. i understand the need for privacy and do not speculate on their identity but it makes me wonder in general how his relationship was with them/how was his home life. pelle has anders to talk about their childhood and home life at least a little but with øystein we get nothing from family it seems. i believe his father helped him financially? but he was largely unsupportive of his image, said things after he was killed how he was nothing like he was made out to be (which we can all agree on) but it seems like he really did not support his work and burning his letters seemed really cruel like he was trying to totally erase that part of his life. i wonder if he blamed himself for what happened for supporting/ financing helvete if he really did help with money

Yeah, I agree with you. Øystein's dad rubs me the wrong way and so do his actions. And reminds me of Eric Harris' father and the way he handled things.

See, the thing with Øystein being supported by his daddy's money, like Varg said (he is the one to talk, Mr. jacuzzi penthouse paid by his mommy), is not as simple as it seems. We all know Mayhem struggled financially and Øystein obviously never asked for money. Few weeks after Pelle’s death (one to two), he is already talking about plans to open Helvete, which he did, 2 months after Pelle’s death. How so? What changed so suddenly? In April they were struggling to buy guitar strings and borrowed microphones, and Pelle was also totally mentally drained from poverty, not just from the depression.

What I believe happened is that Øystein's father kinda threw money at the problem. Gave his freshly traumatized and lost son something to look forward to, something to keep him busy.

Afterwards, when Helvete, and black metal circle started to get the heat from the police, he pressured him into closing Helvete and giving that white sweater interview. You should ask the other admin for details, tbh, she will know better.

I think I remember reading that one of the conditions for his father to continue paying his rent was Øystein giving that interview where he tried to save face. But like I said, ask Øystein admin for details, I might not remember things 100% correctly.

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You said that Pelle wanted to die peacefuly by knife in the woods, okay this idea can be ,,good" for him because he liked this forest but I think by shotgun it is more peaceful because its very quick instead of long bleeding

Yes, BUT... Your ideas of peaceful death don't have to be same as his, or mine, or someone else's. People jump from the skyscrapers and I could never 🫣

There's a reason people choose different suicide methods and there's a reason why he avoided shotgun until it was absolutely needed - only when his original plan failed.

Yes, jumping from the 80th floor or shotgun through the mouth means certain death, but perhaps it felt undignified or unappealing to him for whatever reason. Bleeding out is quite romantic, tbh, but it also mirrors his first "death" aka NDE, that he experienced because of blood loss, albeit internal. He spoke about the "need" to lose more blood when self harming, despite feeling unwell, and I think he was trying to replicate the feeling he had when he was 13 and dying, because NDE was the most beautiful thing he experienced and he wanted to "go back" to it, like he said in a letter.

I am actually sad he didn't die the way he wanted to. It was painful, long, and miserable. And that's why shotgun entered the story

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20-30 min doodle before bed

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Toxic version of this cute meme xD

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Is it true that Pelle saw a video of Øystein? Where he shows his ass XD

Of course he did, Øystein had the video on the VHS tape. I remember Pelle even mentioned it once in an interview

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Is said interview posted? I wonder what pelle said, lol

Nothing special, he said how the audience sucked so Øystein showed them his ass.

I will eventually post it

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coming off anon because i sent too much asks about dns already... saldorian spell is indeed their least popular album. i myself prefer hora nocturna because of the “flowy” instrumentals and the lyrical content, but i think the production and especially the drum sound on saldorian spell is the best so far. their newest album (mardom) is much more “icy” and i think i prefer a richer, deeper sound than that. i am glad you found your favorites! :-)

Icy, shrill sound reminds me of my attempt to explain BM to my sister 15 years ago, when I played Transilvanian hunger to her, saying "don't you feel the coldness in the sound", and she went "sorry, but this sounds like someone is shaking a box of rusty nails" 🤣

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Maybe his friends undermine his depression due to guilt for not spotting any signs of his depression. Or even if they did they might’ve brushed it off as one of his many quirks.

After somebody kill’s themselves those who stay are often left with questions of “what if” so while frustrating that they undermine his depression, or blame it on øystein, it’s probably one of the ways the found to cope. An overall sad and frustrating situation.

Yes that's my theory too. That it stems from their feelings of guilt. Which, again, I understand. But that doesn't mean they are free to put the whole blame on Øystein, which they so hypocritically do.

I have been vocal about my dislike of his swedish friends many times.

They hate Øystein, are open about it, and go as far as suggesting Pelle "didn't die of his own free will" but Øystein played a part in his death ("Blood, Fire, Death" book), and that's where my respect and understanding stops when it comes to them.

But what to expect from these people, those are the same people that put the entire blame on Pelle for killing the first guinea pig, when in reality they played a part in it (I made a post about it long ago).

So, if they are willing to throw PELLE under the bus to save face, is it really surprising they are throwing Øystein too? Fuck them

Edit: here's the post. My comments are in { }

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We recently released a black metal documentary highlighting the top 10 infamous crimes committed by some bands in the past. We’d love for you to check it out and share your thoughts! Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel—Part 2 is coming soon!

scenario: Black Metal artists.

Video editing: our Swedish guy: @dfyspdrnr

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Bro literally tripped over 😭😭😭

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