ohyansu

[ohyansu]

Yansu – The man of letters.

On a time-worn, faded piece of paper, scribbled in a messy handwriting : - Full name : Oh Yansu - Alias : S. A. Yan - Date of birth : 12th of April, 1994 - Age : 23 - Birth place : Unknown - Zodiac sign : Aries - House : House of Diamonds - Position : Ace - Occupation : Bartender - Establishment : Ye Olde Tavern - Family : None

- Day 1- Date : 11th of February, 2018. Entry : Haunted by the heavy feathers of the past. “ I remember that day as clear as this morning. Nothing to wear, nothing to eat, left alone in front of the goddess named fate. The same day I stumbled into the two faced boss, on the outside he looked like any other old man, yet, despite the deep wrinkles decorating his once tanned skin, something about the man made me intrigued, scared. On the inside, he was a sweet one, caring not only for his own family, but everyone, helping anyone in need. Being a scawny and sickly kid, even a shadow used to terrify me, not speaking about the ghosts of the past. ” “ That morning was cold. Well as cold as early spring day can be. First snow had already melted, giving space for fresh, green grass to grow. A damp morning it was. Puddles formed in the both sides of the road, any other kid would have used the chance to finally play in the water, but not me. Not the small Oh Yansu I used to be. The time was perfect for a morning run, cool yet freezing wind had already burnt my pale cheeks, yet it seemed like it was nothing to the people, rushing to get to their business. That’s the funny fact about nowadays society, it seems like everyone is just so busy, too busy to stop for a while and look around, notice smallest things. Maybe someone was asking for help, maybe someone needed that outstretched hand, but no one care. No one ever did. A society of egoistic, lying monsters, trying to blend into the group of people, acting like they care when on the inside they have lost the ability to care, ability to feel. And I am one of those monsters.” “ I woke up on the cold, dirty pavement, wearing clothes that were mine, but at the same time they weren’t . Like hands I stared down at, at the same time , they were my hands, the same palms I used to use, yet..they were colored in the deep shade of red. Being the same terrified kid, the thought of the red substance on my palms, made something brisk inside of my chest. A growing knot of another panic attack, another trophy for my enormous collection of things to be scared of. I got up and I ran. I ran as fast as my slender, sickly legs could allow me, I ran as fast as my cold burnt lungs could move me forward. I ran, I ran until I found myself on a porch of a house. The enormous mahogany door gave me a strange feeling of safety, of home. I was about to knock when it opened on itself and a breeze of comfort, home and safety overwhelmed me. It was the day I was born. “

- Day 2 - Date :  12th of February, 2018. Entry : Born from the ashes like the red furred phoenix. “ The day I was born. I have, had no memories what happened before, nor could I tell my name or day of my birth. I had a white void inside of my head, thousands of knives piercing my brain every time I tried to remember what happened. It was like I had no past, nothing. Only remaining thing of my past was two permanently inked tattoo on my nape. “Oh Yansu” above the barcode and 940412″ under it.” “ The man, who opened his door for the poor orphan gave him a new life. He took him under his wing and showed the light and the dark of this never ending circle called life. He gave him a meaning of live and in return he got full dedication and respect. The man gave him family he ached for. Being only 12 years old, he never understood the true purpose of his existence, but the man gave him one. “ “ Time flew as fast as the birds, I grew up. I hated myself, I hated myself to the point I tried to end this misery called life, I tried to return back where I came from - the sky. I still look at my wrist, at those deep, long, cut scars never faded; it stayed as a reminder of what I used to be. I grew up still being sickly and skinny kid, never able to do anything right. With more years, came more training and my weak body wasn’t able to keep with the harsh conditions. I recall their words like it was permanently crawled in my soul “a disappointment”, “an error of nature”, “good for nothing scam”. Kids were mean, kids are always mean, and they do not think twice when they throw those harsh words at someone else, those daggers flying to the innocent poor souls. It hurt me, it hurt me deeply. Not only I was already a shy and quiet kid, those words, those daggers piercing my back, made me realize that in this whole world only you and you only can be trustworthy, making me close myself for anyone. Forever…or so I thought.” “ He came like a wrecking ball, literally. When I wasn’t expecting it, the taller elf boy suddenly appeared in my life. On one side I was grateful to him, he was the only one keeping me safe, sane, on the other side…no one knew Tybalt the way I did and Tybalt…well he was a disaster. Born being as tall as an Eiffel tower, he was also as clumsy. Most of the time it was him getting into the trouble and me, being his loyal companion, being pulled in with him. It was fun. Tybalt’s bubbly personality, made me open up to him, made me trust him and that one eventful day we gave each other a promise. A permanently craved cross in the skin, a reminder of the deep and loyal friendship, deeper than any bond. We weren’t / aren’t only best friends, we are brothers. Being the same age, more or less, having the same purpose, made us inseparable. We grew up hip by hip, together earning our respectful positions in the gang – him becoming a  high ranked general, but me…well, I became an ace.”

- Day 3 - Date :  13th of February, 2018. Entry : Chapter I , the flowers of flesh and blood. “ An ace, sounds so fancy doesn’t it? Such a pretty name, such a horrible meaning. Who else was worthy of the title? Who else had lost their humanity on their way to the success? Me and me only. That small, yet pathetic thread of humanity that I kept holding onto, I ripped it apart and let my darkness slowly consume me - my body, my heart, my soul until there’s nothing left. Parts of Oh Yansu are still living in me, but he’s in a deep slumber, unable to ever wake up from. “S. A. Yan. My name is S. A. Yan”, I told the boss, the same person, who saved me from my old life, as he gave me the title, as he saw me as something, someone powerful, fierce. He had asked me “why?” and I suddenly answered, “ I feel the greek god Ares, guiding me whenever I go. It was him who visited my in my dreams and gave me this strength, I am Son of Ares, Yansu,” Of course, the old man laughed at such clever response from such a kid, yet I knew he never saw me as one, he saw the true potential I had, he simply guided me on the right road.” “I never understood where I went wrong. From a shy, kind-hearted child to such  monster. Yes, I have heard it many times. Yansu- the monster. At first it bothered me, my first slaughter was so popular, it reached outside of the gang, yet the years passed by and I learned how to look at indifferently. Look at everything differently. I grew to love the beautiful color of blood, the sound of gun piercing the flesh or knife going through it, a pleasant melody to my ears. Tho pain came, it never bothered me, as if I could get shot and still stand up, walk to the enemy and kill it. Pain was an absent feeling too. In mere months, my whole self was replaced by someone I do not know anymore, an emotionless beast, ready to kill, to pounce it’s prey and slowly devour it piece by piece. There isn’t such thing as love, as sadness, as happiness in my dictionary. Only a never ending void of nothingness.” “ Maybe it was the boss’s death that sent me there where I am now, maybe it was the life overall. He was a father for me I never had, I swore with my life to be dedicated to him, and my loyalty went so deep, the same was for his child. His next in line was as important as his father, more or less, he was still the king of them. It was funny how the tanned male became the king of the damned. “ “ And here I am now. Working in an bar, doing simply a regular job, yet it had a deeper purpose. Having lost emotions, my life became dull. Even the blood didn’t excite me anymore. Losing feelings was easy, gaining them..not so easy. But standing behind that bar and observing people, their interactions, their feelings, laughter and overwhelming auras, it was like watching a favorite movie and living along the favorite character. Maybe it was a way how I tried to find my humanity, a way to survive in this world.” “ “A scholar, who has never got a proper education. “ “An athlete, who has never got a proper training.” “A friend, who has never had any feelings.” as once someone told me. Part of it was truth, part of it was lies. And i am so deep into my own lies I don’t remember the truth. Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Those are hard questions with one simple answer. I am Oh Yansu. I am born to take lives. I was born to kill and kill will I  do. “

Laying next to the red, leather diary, lays another time-worn sheet of paper. Many lines decorated the words, as if someone was desperately trying to erase the written words : Likes : Cryptic codes, Classical music ( good for relaxing), Dogs, more like wolves, GLOCK 17 ( despite being plastic, the pistol feels good in my palm), Blood, Moon, Snow, Mixing drinks. Pain. Dislikes: Ugly scar on my lip, Nothing else I can think of. Amnesia Ps. I guess I have lost ability to dislike something.