olivtristan - Tumblr blog

[olivtristan]

you guys need to be normal about people who don't like penetration. people who don't get hard easily. people who finish quickly. people who participate in kink without having sex. people who don't like being touched. people who don't like giving head. people who only like penetration. people who (almost) always squirt. people who take a long time to cum. people who have a hard time getting wet. people who don't talk during sex or anything else that is not part of the way you think people or bodies should behave during sex

[olivtristan]

PSA: Please teach your partner how to choke properly if you’re into that kind of thing.

The point of choking is not to crush the oesophagus, but rather to put light pressure on the carotid arteries to stop oxygen circulation to the brain. So tops, please create a V shape with your hands, which allows the fleshy part of the palm to rest against the oesophagus without causing any obstruction to the windpipe, and press down on the arteries. It’s not about stopping your bottom from breathing completely, but making them lightheaded.

This is very, very important!

Also, please don’t attempt any choking whilst under the influence because your better judgement may be impaired and you can cause some serious damage.

Choking is serious business, if you’re going to engage in it, please be sure to practise it properly and in a safe manner!

[olivtristan]

WHY IS SO FUCKING HARD PUT A "FEM" IN FRONT OF THE "READER"???????

NOT EVERYONE IN THIS FUCKING SITE IS A FEM OR USES FEM PRONOUNS YOU DUMB BITCH

NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO READ HALF OF A HISTORY ONLY TO GET A FEM NICKNAME OR A FEM PRONOUN THAT YOU TAKE OFF YOUR ASS

JUST PUT THE FUCKING FEM READER YOU ASSHOLE YOU NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU PUT THREE FUCKING LETTERS IN FRONT THE READER

IS SO FUCKING HARD DEFENDING SOME AUTHORS BECAUSE THEY CONTINUE BEING DUMB

SOME MASC PEOPLE HAVE A FUCKING DYSPHORIA OR THEY DAY RUINED BY THAT

YOU WON'T LIKE IF WAS A MALE READER WITHOUT SAYING IS MALE, THEN PUT THE FEM READER BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE EITHER

[olivtristan]

I love this website where else am I going to get BDSM Aftercare tips from people who have never fucked in their life

[olivtristan]

I love how Gojo is always 😄 while Geto never stops with the 😏

[olivtristan]

[olivtristan]

[olivtristan]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[olivtristan]

I think that when we tell teenagers that their lives will be over if they don't have the most perfect possible trajectory through the education system, that this is, perhaps, if I may be bold, not good for them,

[olivtristan]

I just remembered that whole year I was just burping out this song everytime even before realized it and without getting tired

careless whisper fucks so insanely hard and i will never forgive the internet for making it a "meme song." tonight the music seems so loud i wish that we could lose this crowd maybe its better this way we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say. if you even care.

[olivtristan]

[olivtristan]

Getting a weird little hobby is actually so important bc it opens your eyes up to the world. You start crocheting or knitting, and how you see scarves and sweaters differently. You try identifying plants, now you’re seeing opposite and alternate leaf pattern. Bird watching? Every chirp draws attention and interest.

Get into weird little hobbies.

[olivtristan]

reader insert terms 101: fem vs afab, masc vs amab. aka, words have meaning.

hi! my names is jules, a gay trans masc dude, and i desperately want the reader insert community to learn how to use the proper terminology to describe their reader's gender and anatomy. my background: i write trans smut for trans mascs, trans men, and gender neutral readers. so making sure i have my terminology straight is very important for my readers.

there are... a lot of people using terms interchangeably when they simply are not at all interchangeable. and i'm not wanting to come across as condescending or anything, because i'm aware that some people just genuinely do not know that there's a difference. but, it is getting annoying going into a fic labeled as afab!reader thinking that it's safe, and getting slapped with an incorrectly labeled fem!reader halfway through the fic.

tl;dr fem =/= afab, masc =/= amab. fem and masc are related to gender and gender presentation, afab and amab refer to designated gender at birth that is assigned to a person based off of visual anatomy.

keep in mind, this is not going to be an in-depth, nuanced conversation about gender and gender presentation. yes, i am aware that clothes are not inherently gendered and that masc-presenting individuals can wear dresses, skirts, have long hair, etc. but this is fandom. i am not looking to start teaching gender studies classes in fandom spaces. i simply want to educate on basic topics so i can read more content without getting slapped with an untagged fem!reader halfway through.

so what exactly do afab and amab mean?

afab stands for "assigned female at birth" and amab stands for "assigned male at birth"... that's it. it's nothing fancy. it's the gender that you are assigned at birth based off of your external anatomy.

[side note: the designation is not always 100% accurate, as anatomy can be ambiguous if a person is born intersex, but that's a whole different conversation for another day (that being said, i highly encourage folks to read up on intersex issues and follow intersex content creators. i am not intersex, i've only learned about intersex issues through textbooks, so i don't feel educated enough to speak on this topic. good readings here and here for a brief introduction).]

for the most part, it means that afab!reader has a vagina/pussy and uses a strap-on while an amab!reader has a cock and asshole. it does not indicate anything about a person's gender, and it does not equate to a person's current gender and/or pronouns. it is simply a reference to assigned gender at birth.

so what exactly do fem and masc mean?

fem and masc are related to a person's gender and gender presentation. it has nothing to do with a person's assigned gender at birth or anatomy. fem amab people exist, and masc afab exist. fem =/= vagina, masc =/= dick.

so what's the big deal? why is it an issue if something is incorrectly labelled?

because it's misleading for readers and can, potentially unintentionally trigger dysphoria or discomfort for trans or gender neutral readers. it's the difference between going into a gender neutral, no pronouns used afab!reader versus being hit with an incorrectly labeled fem!afab!reader wearing a dress, skirt, etc. and using heavily gendered pet names like "wife", "princess", "queen", etc. and it's the same thing for masc readers and gender neutral readers (though they are no where near as common as fem readers) of course.

also, if you're writing completely sfw content like fluff or comfort, there's usually very little to no reason to use the terms afab or amab. it's perfectly fine if you want the reader to be fem!reader or masc!reader, but that's gender presentation and not a reader's anatomy. you only really need to use amab or afab if the reader is getting their dick or clit or hole sucked.

how do i know if my reader is a fem!reader or a masc!reader as opposed to just an afab!reader or amab!reader?

well, how are you writing the reader? are you giving any indication of their possible gender identity? clothing, perfume/fragrance, hair length, pet names, etc.? are you using pronouns? if so, what pronouns are you using for them? what terms are you using for their anatomy? dick, cock, pussy, vagina, etc.? boobs, tits, chest, etc.?

my personal recommendation for this would be to have a beta reader or someone to gloss over your writing. if you're writing a gender neutral reader, go through and make sure you're not using any gender pronouns. this is something that i've found myself slipping up with and accidentally making my gender neutral!reader masc!readers.

indicators that you're unintentionally gendering the reader can include: clothes (eg. dresses and skirts usually indicate a fem!reader), perfume/cologne (using the word perfume usually indicates a fem!reader, cologne usually indicates a masc!reader), pet names (queen, princess, etc. for a fem!reader. king, prince, etc. for a masc!reader), pronouns. and, there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving some descriptors of your reader, i do it all the time personally. just a courteous "hey, this reader has xyz features described" at the beginning is very much appreciated.

what about using the phrase "afab/amab language used" when describing a reader's anatomy in smut?

in most fandom spaces, people will probably be able to surmise exactly what you mean by this. pussy, cunt, vagina, clit, etc. for afab language. dick, cock, penis, etc. for amab language.

but, here's the thing. technically, "afab" and "amab" language is inherently gender neutral when you're talking about anatomy. and what i mean by that is, you can call your junk whatever the fuck you want, regardless of what you have. you want to call your dick a clit? go for it. want to call your clit a dick? have fun. prostate is a g-spot or vice versa? hell yeah. shit, there's cis gay guys in rl that call their assholes "pussy". because of this, people are going to have different definitions of "afab/amab language", so to just say a blanket statement of "afab/amab language" is a bit vague, especially if you're wanting to make your content more inclusive towards trans and/or gender neutral audiences. plus, people get the ick from certain terms being used (eg. when i read afab!readers, i immediately exit out if i see the word "cunny" in it because i just can not handle it) even if they identify as cis.

so, this is just if you want to go the extra step and be transparent with your content, but you can say in the description/summary "this is what terms i'll be using". for some examples, this is what i do for my trans and gender neutral readers.

Reader is depicted as a trans man using he/him pronouns. He is pre top and pre bottom surgery. His anatomy is referred to as hole, tdick/tcock, and cock/dick. There are references to him being wet, but this can interpreted as natural lubrication or artificial lubrication.

Reader is amab and uses he/him pronouns. He is consensually feminized in this fic. His anatomy is referred to tits and boobs, while his ass is referred to as a pussy.

Reader is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns. Their anatomy can be interpreted as being a cock or a strap.

so, yeah, if you made it this far. thanks for coming to my ted talk! this isn't intended to be condescending, i just want to be horny and not worry about potentially getting my dysphoria triggered.

[olivtristan]

btw smut writers when "it" hits the cervix its incredibly painful!!!!!!!!!!! idk why people always say "it hit her cervix, it felt so good", it doesnt. rough sex is not pleasurable probably 80% of the time for people who are AFAB- again it depends on personal preference

but when people talk about it hitting the cervix, its always described as pleasurable when it kinda isnt....

painful sex isn't good sex (unless you're into that, ofc)

[olivtristan]

Just imagine Loki looking like this omfg

[olivtristan]

Make sure your dom is always comfortable and enjoying their time with you. Make sure not to overstep their boundaries. Make sure to always ask if they are okay or not with the things you two do. Doms also need the reassurance and love.

[olivtristan]