omarapolloplsmarryme

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

what

literally what. I've managed to muster hope, forgiveness, love even for the most bleak situations. at least in this aspect of life. I've gotten so little looking back, yet not once would I have moved on.

now you are here, the slightest hesitancy, split second pause, quite literally anything could convince me this isn't real. false intentions, misguided attention, any and all of it has crossed my mind.

I blame him, but I have a lot of my own work to do on it.

I will believe it some day but for now, though I will continue to ask, why me? and also

what?

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

feelings

heyyy peopleeee, its been a while, but anyway

I've come to realize I'm no longer unaffected

this has both led me to feel the best and worst I ever have

things mean so much to me, the lack of anything does as well, if not more, how strange is that? often it is my own impatience, anger, anxiety, whatever other negative feelings I create in my head that ruin things for me, I betray the situation thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. I still have trouble taking people for what they are but now I let myself fall. instead of avoiding, I give it a try for the limited positive moments that arise. Though I'm at a loss for this, I am also partially at fault for my own turmoil. I had something decently fine, something that could have been something real. Something that was seemingly just oh so right, and I ended it, twice. Not with my words, but with my actions. It is beyond me how people have things deeper than that and are simply made to move on when it ends. The literal weeks of that were enough to make me loose my mind, how do people go years of that and MORE and are simply made to move on when it ends?

something I never expected to happen ended up tormenting me for weeks, it continues to do so as I process

I think of what I did, what I could've done differently, what you could've done differently, and why you did what you did. all I look for are reasons, explanations, things I will never get and forever ponder. when it starts to rain, while I wait for my coffee to brew, and when I see someone who looks like you. in the end, I know I would do nothing different, I know there's a plan for me and though it do wish it was you, it clearly isn't.

as much as it hurt to push you away, I will never regret taking action and telling you the truth. someday we may speak again but I will never regret doing what I wanted to, letting myself do what I think is right and what I have held back from for too long. I hope we can grow towards each other and I hope you too will be able to tell me what you feel rather than what you think you should.

"I opened my mouth, almost said something. almost, the rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. but I didn't." khaled hosseni

someday I will make peace with it, and while I wish nothing would hurt me again, having been so painfully vulnerable and weak has taught me a lot. about myself, about the world, about how I want to continue to approach the people I love or will love or will see a lot more often

for that, I thank u

xoxo, mgf

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

time?

thinking of u takes up so much of my time

yet still

you never have enough time for me

you're busy

you're tired

you won't make time

I want to ask what you're doing, I want to hear u, I want to make time for you

Why won't you do the same?

Why don't you feel just as anxious?

I think time is different for us both

I hope its not too different

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

arizona

literally never leaving the state again, legit mfs over there are likable and whatnot. anyway, get ur money up not ur funny up, (why did u say all that if u didn't mean it) stand on business (I've been double texting) and keep ur head up kings/queens, ur crown is slipping. (I miss it and don't know what to do to get over it)

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

:) ⛅️

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

gudak cam ⭐️

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

🌼

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

Chris Chung

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

González Muchow Arquitectura, Tejocote House, Santiago de Querétaro, Mexique.

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

lately

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

something ab being girls together…idk

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

:3

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

Luis Barragán

Casa Egerstrom, Arboledas, 1968

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

Conservatory of Flowers

San Francisco, CA

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

can confirm i was j delusional 🫡

problem

its that my mood change like these god damn seasons ?

idk help pls i cant like him

but also id rather feel anxiety than feel nothing

but why's it him

there's nothing good abt him

but it feels good to feel scared

?

[omarapolloplsmarryme]

🫐🫐🫐