omgitstatertot

[omgitstatertot]

If I was Batman I would accidentally leave the eyes shadow on allll the time :(

[omgitstatertot]

*its robin btw

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“Asmo would support whoever MC chooses-” How quickly we forget the RAD popularity contest.

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There’s context but you don’t need it

[omgitstatertot]

Big fan of this version of superbat :)))))

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Simons large fingers squishing my cheeks together to kiss me would be so healing tbh

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[omgitstatertot]

inspired by this post from glitchhoppp

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They don’t tell you this but in the United States there is an extremely low chance to encounter a vehicle shaped like a hotdog

[omgitstatertot]

big fan of clark not being a fan of bruce wayne. all of the tacky one-liners and come-ons roll off of clark's back with barely concealed disgust.

he had a history with tasteless billionaires and he's just about had it with them and their ilk, thinking they own the world just because they had the money to buy it. the clash of his humble midwest upbringing and lex luthor's animosity spelled bruce wayne's doomed first impression at some party or other, where clark gets a face full of wayne's pearly whites, alcohol for cologne, and batty-eyed flirtation. clark gives up hope for a scoop and leaves the party as soon as he's able to.

but then, he falls down the rabbit hole: wayne industries and other properties, learning they offer the best-paying jobs, are a top-rated company, for a reason, all the benefits and the charity works, supporting smaller local businesses. and bruce wayne may be ditzy but he grew up from a tragedy that took his family and now, he's growing a new one. clark figures, rich or not, no person's life should be this dramatic and plastered on newspaper—that means it's deliberate.

and, of course, the after: his partner-in-justice, with a penchant for the shadows and doing thankless work, coinciding with that fake, glittery persona. it made sense in a way it never would've made sense before now. bruce wayne is batman, and batman is bruce wayne.

so, of course, the next time bruce wayne is seen flirting with clark kent at some party or other—now burdened with the knowledge of who exactly bruce is, clark blushes and stutters and begrudgingly accepts his fate.

[omgitstatertot]

Pt 1

What about more Autistic!Simon Riley who moved said bird into his flat. Took you hunting and showed you how to use and not use guns. Even gifted you your very own knives, one you could keep in your nightstand and the other you keep in your purse. He’s just so happy he has someone to share his interests with. You don’t bother him when more guns show up, you just watch him as he gets a feel for them. You even helps him organize the set up of them along with his knives. Rearranging them by color, weight, shape, and style (His preference) in a case you bought him. He’s really been into brass knuckles lately, you have no clue why but he says: ‘I’ dunno. Brass knuckles jus’ speak t’me. Look at ‘em. D’you think they have like a…brass knuckle and knife hybrid..?” Turns out they do, because he’s spent all night looking that up. The next week there are like two packages at the door and he sees them on the table while you’re drinking your morning smoothie. While he opens them he’s rambling about what he’s found about them. “Lovie, Did’ya know these things were invented durin’ the first World War? I mean not really, but they were like early prototypes of ‘em. Oh yeah, they’re called trench knives by the way. Made for close combat clearly, this one is a replica of one from 1918. D’ya think I can find a real one? Probably can..” He rambled to you. He was so in his element, so happy to tell you all the facts he learned, showing you the replica and comparing it to what a real one would look like. You smiled and listened to your boyfriend, even letting him show you a YouTube video he found on them. He’d already watched it a billion times, over analyzing the entire thing. Don’t let him find a real trench knife, he’s talking about it all. day. long. You’re brushing your teeth? Trench knife from 1918. Making breakfast? Trench knife from 1918. You have to go in for work? Oh yeah, the trench knife from 1918. “Si’ please tell me what you want for dinner while I’m at the store.” “Okay Lovie, but what about the trench knife?” He’s deep in your guts, bent you over, giving you the fucking of a lifetime. His body draped over your back as he grips your hair? Guess what, the fucking trench knife from 1918. And while he’s rambling about it between every grunt, he’s thrusting into you while holding said trench knife in front of your face.

[omgitstatertot]

Pt. 2

Okay but what about autistic!Simon Riley bagging a beautiful bombshell of a woman just by simply being weird and abnormal about his interests?? He meets this pretty bird at a pub. You’re sexy in an effortless way, looking him up and down and giving him pretty smiles. He’s a bit aloof, but he also thinks you’re pretty. So when you approach him the first thing that spills out of his mouth is “I have a lot o’ guns inside my house.” It takes you by surprise. You just smile and nod, a little freaked out by it and he takes that as the chance to continue. Even pulls out a knife. “This one ‘ere is Riley. Real special t’me, gets the job done. Quick ‘n easy. Y’wanna hold ‘er?” He sticks a large hand out, offering you his knife. You hold it, letting the weight of it rest in your hands, you give him an awkward smile. He gives you a slight grin, thinking he’s really got you in the bag. So he pulls out his phone, showing you pictures of guns. One in particular being a picture of a L115A3. “‘S a damn good sniper. Ever seen someone get hit bullseye in the head with its bullet? No’ a pretty sight I’ll tell you that much, but she’s a right beaut. Silent and efficient.” He rambles about how he knows to use it and how he can easily take it apart and put it back together again. You have to admit, it’s hot. Watching him rattle on and on about a plethora of guns shouldn’t turn you on as much as it does. So you just smile and nod, actually listening to him and boy does that excite him. He ends up taking you to his flat, holding up and showing you every gun while you throat him and listen <3.

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Clark breaking his own rules about his secret identity but ONLY for the nice little old lady who works in the Daily Planet office with him. You will never find him 1) dropping things 2) acting clumsy 3) running away 4) pretending he isn’t strong with her.

He stands up straight with her and looks her in the eye, glasses and misdirection be damned. If she needs help lifting something, he’s there — and it’s never too heavy. She needs help during a full-building evacuation, suddenly she’s outside on the sidewalk and he’s checking her over to make sure she’s okay.

Everyone else sees the misdirection first, the clumsy awkward Clark Kent who aspires to be unremarkable. But this sweet little admin lady who runs payroll? She doesn’t care about the identities or the names he uses. She appreciates him being “a kind young man” and Clark will never disappoint her. He might have been born on Krypton, but he’s a Midwesterner first. If she needs help — she’s getting help.

(Clark ends up watching her meet Bruce a few years later, when he comes by for a tour of the Daily Planet, and gets to witness firsthand as his friend also drops the act with her, zero coordination needed. The woman squeezes his arm, teasing, and says something about him being “quite large.” Bruce laughs, a little pink, and says “That’s the goal.”)

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I refuse to accept that Bruce being mad at Jason for killing is canon. It makes no sense.

Batman can't kill. Sure partially because he never wants anyone to lose family like he did even if that family is criminal. But that doesn't apply to people like the Joker. Who's going to miss Joker? The people who he mentally broke? No, the reason batman doesn't kill people like the joker - truly purely vile and evil human beings is because than vengeance will swallow him and he knows it. He knows that if he crosses that line, he may not return. He'll want to kill every criminal who hurts someone. So, for the safety of Gotham, so that he doesn't become an overlord, he doesn't kill.

But that doesn't mean no one else can. So as far as I am concerned the canon version is:

Batman:*concerned that his son is killing and might lose himself and default to killing instead of trying to save* Don't kill the joker

Red hood:*kills Joker*

Batman:...

Red hood:...*doesn't just go around killing redeemable characters. Employs low level criminals and treats them fairly. Takes care of children in crime Alley.*

Batman:...ok. Alfred is making lasagna, wanna come home for dinner son?

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Ra’s, admiring the Batfamily from afar: how does Bruce inspire such LOYALTY without compromising skill and endurance?

Bruce, back in the Cave: if you can do this handstand for five minutes straight I’ll teach you how to dislocate someone’s elbow without breaking it

Tim, shaking like a chihuahua: and?

Bruce, sighing: and afterwards we can run the evac simulator together

Tim now upside down: with—

Bruce: —with popcorn, yes

[omgitstatertot]

For some reason I see ghost as a small dog guy. Yknow those huge dudes who wear leather and ride motorbikes then have just a cute lil dog wearing a teeny leather vest

I think Ghost would go fucking wild for a king charles spaniel. Soft, bitty dog that looks like it's made to be trussed up in ribbons and bows. Man carries it around under one arm and just sets in down whenever the dog starts wagging a little too excitedly. Enjoys watching it gallop after squirrels and scuttle under bushes. Would probably take it hunting and get side eyed hard by Price and the rest of the 141.

He definitely still has his leathers and big stomps boots, but his little dog is sitting politely by his side with little pink bows on her ears and a big smile on her wittle muzzle. This man gets so much pussy he's drowning in it.

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I needed this gif to be on here because it’s SO funny you have no idea how much this silent communication means to me. The fact that Jason shushed his own brother. The fact that Dick LISTENED.