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blows my mind that cheetahs are apex predators. that is the single most anxious creature I have ever seen. at any given moment a cheetah is exactly one stubbed paw away from bursting into tears. that is a sad dripping wet animal, and it's at the top of the local food chain? babygirl what happened

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A Devil's Minion disability rec list

There are so many reasons I love Daniel/Armand, but the most important is the way that thinking about these characters asks us to explore themes of illness, neurodivergence, disability, and dysfunctional bodies. From Armand being sick when he was turned, to Daniel's Parkinson's, to Armand being extremely autistic coded, to the way the past DM/book DM timeline is inextricable from the AIDs crisis-- you simply cannot escape crip themes when you contemplate Daniel and Armand's love. The other reason I love Devil's Minion so much is that the corner of the fandom that has sprung up around them does not try to escape these themes. Instead I have engaged in deep conversations about disability, met other disabled fans, and read so much incredibly thoughtful and beautifully written fics that explore aspects of disability that I would never have thought of myself. There is a lot of painful eugenics rhetoric happening in the US right now, and I have found myself being drawn back to these thoughtful fics when I need some comfort. So I compiled my list for you in case you would like to read them too:

The Good Nurse by @welcomingdisaster, 63,876 words, Explicit

This is a slight AU, where the second interview never happens and instead Armand is hired as Daniel’s live-in caregiver as his Parkinson’s progresses. The lyrical prose, along with the side plot of Daniel investigating a piece about conspiracy theories around autism that illuminate some interesting things about Armand, make this one really special.

Question: Can an Immortal Meet Mortality? by @hummingbee-o0o, 7,920 words, Mature

This is one of my all time favorites and I think about it all the time. I love when a fic weaves together the different pieces of Armand’s life around a single theme. This one centers around all of the epidemics that Armand has lived through, from the plague to AIDs to Covid. The recurring image of Daniel’s TB vaccination scar and the way Armand thanks it for keeping Daniel safe is so beautiful.

Run, Arun! by @nightcolorz, 3,274 words, Mature

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how Armand chose to violate the great laws when he turned Daniel, but hadn’t considered that Armand’s autism might make him feel like a violation himself. I also love how this is written in the second person, which is hard to pull off but this writer does really well.

hold very still by @mycenaae, 2,796 words, Mature

A fic that truly captures the chronically ill fantasy of having a vampire boyfriend: Armand uses his mind gift to take away Daniel’s Parkinson’s pain for a short while.

Backroads to Sonoma by burntcrimson 20,251, Mature

I am generally extremely picky with AUs but this is one of my all time favorites. In the middle of the AIDs crisis, Daniel is driving cross country, interviewing truckers and sex workers. He picks up a Armand as a hitchhiker, who he realizes he knows from childhood. Armand is sick and set on revenge, but his time with Daniel still leads to unexpected love.

I think this works so well as an AU because this version of Armand retains some of his otherworldliness and dangerousness; how that intersects with his diagnosis is really interesting. It’s also got the prose of like, the next great American novel, so that doesn’t hurt either.

Saffron by @maester-of-spreadsheets , 4,509 words, Teen

Set during season 1, Armand helps Daniel fall asleep despite his insomnia and pain while temporarily dropping the Rashid guise. It's very tender and really captures the feeling of what it is like to live with fatigue.

i'll ask for more time (but mother forgive me) by @ignorethepineapples, 3,512 words, Mature

Another all time fave by a fellow member of the DM author’s discord! This is another one that weaves together different scenes from Armand’s and Daniel’s life through theme— this time it’s around illness, and around both of their turnings. The fic imagines Armand’s fatal illness as syphilis, which can have Parkinson’s like symptoms (this is so good that if the show doesn’t do this, I’m rioting). The fic connects this to Daniel’s fear during the AIDs epidemic and his eventual turning that saves him after a fall from Parkinson’s nearly kills him. Daniel’s turning is imbued with such tenderness, it makes me cry.

Chipped Fang, by anonymous, 12,013 words, Explicit

After being turned, Daniel is in agonizing pain. It turns out that one of Armand's fangs fell out and became embedded in his neck during the turning, and Armand has been suffering without his missing tooth as well. This is not the same as giving Daniel chronic pain after turning because of Parkinson's but I really love anything that points to the idea of vampire's bodies being fallible and still capable of problems, and I think this is such a clever idea and execution.

Portraiture by @sylvies-chen, 4,436 words, Mature

Armand has the idea that he and Daniel should participate in the couple’s trend of painting portraits of each other as a way to sneakily help him rehab his trembling hands (I always love when fics casually maintain some symptoms of Parkinson’s after Daniel becoming a vampire). And well, it’s been over 400 years since Armand was painted and really seen by a lover, so this is very sweet.

and so you did. by evaniigouki, 7,890 words, Explicit

There are a lot of great fics that mention that Daniel has retained some of his Parkinson's symptoms after being turned into a vampire without centering their plot around it. This is just one, which I like because I think it really captures the verbal sparing that Daniel and Armand get up to in the show. This is set in the penthouse immediately following season 2. I really like how this fic captures a whole mix of emotions: Daniel is angry that Armand has erased his memories, Armand is desperate to be wanted by someone after Louis has left, and they're both attracted to each other in an incredibly complicated way.

Til the Act is Done series by @apoptoses, 13,944 words across 2 fics, Explicit

The one book canon fic on this list! These fics aren’t literally about disability, but I’m recommending them because the restrictions of vampirism can sometimes be read as a metaphor for disability, which I think works especially well here. These fics are about Daniel trying to understand how Armand experiences sex, as a full body experience that’s focused on blood and biting instead of genitals. It is very sweet and very hot and resonated with me as someone who experiences sexual dysfunction as part of my medical condition.

you like control, well I do too by @gaysie, 9,975 words, Explicit

Another beautiful piece that tracks moments of Armand and Daniel’s lives around a theme; this time it’s food and eating disorders. (A big trigger warning for this of course; only read if it is safe for you to do so). This fic tracks how Armand’s need for control morphed into an eating disorder as Marius and the other men he was loaned out to commented on his weight, and how Daniel’s binges extended from drugs and alcohol to food. And how they both find acceptance and healing in each other.

A Love that Never Was by @mitchiesawyer, 13,303 words (so far), Mature

The only in progress fic on this list but I think the chapters that are up still merit inclusion! This fic takes the concept that Armand has Dissociative Identity Disorder seriously, and has Amadeo (with an occasional appearance by Arun) front when he turns and falls back in love with Daniel after the events of season 2. When Armand returns he has no memory of turning Daniel, which has me holding my breath and hoping that Armand can admit he loves Daniel just as much as Arun and Amadeo do.

Daddy by @verimuru and @graygiantess, 1,128 words, or in comic form, Mature

Another one that perfectly captures the chronically ill fantasy of having a vampire boyfriend- in this one it's Armand taking Daniel out dancing, and using his vampire skills and accumulated capital to protect him from Covid. Graygiantess's always witty dialogue is in good form here, and I love Verimuru's illustration style in the comic.

Defect (5 +1) by @aberrantangelsmind, 6,290 words, Explicit

What if Marius told Armand that his eye shaking was wrong, akin to a vampire disfigurement? How would Armand try to hide the shame of that flaw with the Children of Darkness or with Louis? And how would he feel when Daniel’s vampires eye also behave in an unusual way? This fic posits the idea that these unique eyes are remnants of being turned when Armand and Daniel were sick as mortals, which means they’re badges of resilience. That’s so beautiful! I love this interpretation of that trait.

The Devil, his own self series by @sburator, 37, 422 words across 2 fics, Explicit

This is such a nice slow burn, with Armand acting as Daniel’s caregiver after the events of season 2 and slowly convincing Daniel to accept the dark gift. Past DM happened in this fic, but some elements are reimagined in the current timeline with older Daniel, like the blood locket, which I liked. I also really like how much agency this fic (and Armand) gives Daniel, to be angry, to be annoyed, and to make his own decision regarding immortality. When he does accept it, it is very beautiful.

the old man and the vampire series by Zeebruh, 35,757 words across 2 fics, explicit

This one was written before season 2, and I haven't really revisited it since, but I had to include it because it was the fic that turned me from Devil's Minion curious to Devil's Minion obsessed. I love the accessible sex that happens in part 1, and I love the push-pull toxic past devil's minion timeline described in part 2.

Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath, nor clean the blood by me, 47,329 words, Explicit

And last but not least, a little self promo to round it all off. This is my long fic, that spans from post season 2 to Daniel’s turning. I tried to incorporate all my disability thoughts here- from Armand’s thoughts about breaking the rules for Daniel to Daniel’s reconciliation with Armand being shaped by his experiences with chronic pain to Daniel’s Parkinson’s lingering post turning. There is also a lot of kinky disabled sex which is both hot and tender (if I do say so myself). I’d love if you checked it out.

That's it for now! If you have other favorite DM fics that explore themes of disability, illness or neurodivergence, please feel free to reblog and add them or send them to me separately. I would love to have enough new favorites to write a second list soon.

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things klaus mikaelson’s extra dramatic ass has done

wrote a letter to caroline again like who does that in our time and age

DONATED 3 MILLIONS DOLLARS TO CAROLINE CAUSE HE IS NOT PLAYING AROUND

also donated his fucking heart to her cause it always belonged to her since the moment he saw her

praised her again calling her noble and admiring her cause really klaus can’t believe caroline is real

told her again that he wanted to meet like boy we all know you’re desperate for her but you’re taking it to a whole new level

his lame ass said ‘’someday’’ and ‘’HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES’’ again cause he remembers every conversation he had with her cause he is a nerd and he loves her so much

he literally told her that his whipped ass is waiting for her still and always will

he finished with ‘’Yours Klaus’’ we all knew that but still ‘’Yours Klaus’’

GOD i missed HIS OVER THE TOP ROMANTIC GESTURES

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I do like the concept of Daniel attempting to point out Armand’s extensive trauma from Marius’s treatment because I do think as someone who spent his career cataloging the horrors the world has to offer and has no issue calling things out for exactly what they are, he’d not be able to entertain the bullshit Armand says to justify it. That just feels in character for the man we’ve gotten to know.

However, I do not think it would help. In fact, I think it’s important that it doesn’t.

I think Daniel would learn the hard way, likely through a number of ugly, ugly arguments, that Armand is much too deep in this trauma for merely pointing out the obvious to actually be helpful. It’s cathartic to read fics where Armand gets to heal but often I think it happens far too quickly. He has demonstrated already that he knows what happened to him wasn’t all okay, though to what degree he knows this we haven’t heard in detail as of yet.

What we do know is that it has been sitting in his mind for hundreds of years, undisturbed, blending in with all his other trauma, silently shaping who he is and informing his decisions. That’s perhaps the most difficult part. Most human beings with intense traumas spend their entire lives unpacking it. Imagine if you had centuries between you and what happened to you.

Daniel is the first person Armand has met who both has a modern worldview where abuse is simply labelled abuse and is actually invested in him enough to notice and point it out.

What I do hope and believe could happen, though I doubt we’d see it because these bitches are messy and we’d need fifty more books/seasons to cover it, is that Daniel is able to help Armand, not as someone who is there to save him and ‘fix’ him, but as his companion and someone who loves him as people are supposed to be loved. He can only help him as much as an outside person who was not a witness can, so the majority of the work still lies on Armand and that means Armand has to want to do it. It’s slow, and painful and they fight about it all the time, but they don’t give up.

It’s important that it’s because Daniel loves him, not because it’s his job to change him. When you love someone you don’t want them to suffer, and he spent his mortal life piecing people’s stories together. He helped Louis make sense of his past and demonstrated that it wasn’t out of some ruthless desire to be the one to get the story. He grew to care about Louis. And this is Armand. He’s in love with him, so the investment is even deeper.

When I say it takes a long time, I mean longer than any average human would have, especially since for a very long time, Venice actually was the only bright spot in Armand’s existence. I think I’d look back on it fondly too, and now he has to contend with completely recontextualising it. But look at what the first five hundred years of life turned Armand into. Where could he be in the next five hundred? They have so much time to figure it out.

I don’t even need to see it, it’s just a comforting thought to believe that it could happen.

(And it goes without saying this is a mutual thing. Armand could help Daniel grow in ways we cannot even conceive, but that in itself is an entirely separate post.)

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role reversal with old vampire daniel (not turned by armand) and human armand (who has never been a vampire) so daniel can hear all of armand’s horny thoughts about him. and imagine they get into a relationship before daniel has told armand about him being a vampire and armand is constantly spiraling because he’s afraid of daniel dying of old age and daniel is like damn maybe i should tell him. if only just to prevent the kid from doing something crazy like committing suicide so he can spare himself the pain of losing daniel and having to live without him. leave him before he leaves you in the most extreme and permanent sense…

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thinking about zamasian relationship weight gain 🤤assad staying with eric for the summer to do a play in NY, eric taking him to all his favorite restaurants and cooking for him and for once assad just lets himself relax and enjoy it. when they take his measurements for costumes he realizes he’s put back on the softened tummy he’d tried lose after hotel portofino. he’s a little insecure but eric just feels him up and laughs and says that’s nothing, kid, has he seen eric’s belly? and eric’s belly’s been getting a little rounder too, so assad figures it’s fine, they can relax for the summer, who cares. and by the time the play is over assad’s got a true, round little tummy, curving into a soft B when he sits down and resting pretty on the tops of his thighs. eric can’t keep his hands off it, he loves how assad looks in all his clothes, the little pouch of his belly hanging over his waistband, the way it jiggles when he’s riding eric and the way their tummies squish together when eric fucks him.

when they get back to iwtv set assad is a little nervous for shirtless scenes, but everyone is supportive and rolin says if it’s fine for lestat’s bob to grow out between seasons then it’s fine for armand to get a little chubbier. he looks gorgeous in the devils minion sex scenes and his boobs are even more impressive than last season ❤️

crying! i love relationship weight gain and assad’s tummy. his tits and hips and little butt filling out and being soft and gropable grabbable 😵‍💫. eric is so haply seeing it because not only is it hot but it’s also a reminder that it was him influencing the change in assad’s body. those bouncy tits and soft belly are the result of his many homemade pies that he loved to watch assad eat. he’d hum cutely around his fork and making soft moaning noises that made eric want to split him open on his cock while he spooned the jammy pie filling into assad’s mouth with his fingers.

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As I read these rules, every time they’d been broken flashed before my eyes

The Vampire Laws (according to the Children of Darkness).

Total of one hundred.

Written in Latin. The main coven was based in Rome, and Armand was sent from there to Paris. Is Latin his third language? ("French my fourth and poorest language").

They largely use the term "lamiae" for vampires (which makes sense given the part of the world), but not always.

The Five Great Laws

1. Quisque suum thalamum debet habere ducem e ... ponat ... doli.

(my translation) Each coven (literally „inner room“) must have its leader ... order ... Trick.

(used in the show) Each coven must have its leader and only he might order the working of the Dark Trick upon a mortal.

2. Dona tenebrosa numquam debilesdebile.. ... er.. aut iis qui necum potestatibus quidem obscuris suis vivere possunt debent.

The Dark Gifts must never be given to the weak ... or to those who cannot (in fact) live with their dark powers.

The Dark Gifts must never be given to the crippled, the maimed or to children.

3. Nullus lamia vampiris debet scribere historiam lamiae vel quamlibet veram cognitionem lamiorum netalis historia inveniatura mortalibus et credatur.

No vampire should commit to writing the history of the vampires, or any true knowledge of vampires, lest such a story be discovered and believed by mortals.

No vampire must commit to writing the history of the vampires.

4. Nemo lamia suamveram naturammortalibus unquam patefaciet et mortale vivat.

No vampire will ever reveal his true nature to mortals and lives as a mortal.

No vampire shall ever reveal his or her true nature to a mortal and let the mortal live.

5. Nullus lamia potestalium lamia destruere nisi quod dominus copuluspotestatemhabetvitae et necis super totum gregem suum.

No vampire can destroy another vampire except for the coven master who holds the power of life and death over his whole flock.

No vampire may ever destroy another vampire except that the coven master has the power of life and death over all his flock.

Other laws that are at least a little bit readable:

51. Lamia semper ad sep... re...bit vel uni simillimum.

A vampire is always ... or very similar to one.

52. Lamia non cognoscet gaudium.

A vampire will not know joy.

53. Non cognoscet lamia felicitatem.

A vampire will not know happiness.

54. Leges magnae lamiae ...olasse iudicatus exs... ... morte punietur.

The laws of the great vampire* ... judged ... will be punished by death.

*or more likely the great laws of the vampires.

55. Lamia(e) exilia punienda ...buntur in terra tumulanda.

Exiled vampires to be punished ... buried in the ground.

56. Lamia non ambulabit in locis lucis.

A vampire will not walk in places of light.

57. Vampires praedam e consortio rapient ...s profuxis[?] et vagi.

Vampires will snatch prey from the group  ... runaways and vagrants.

58. Lamia nunquam cognoscet delicias vitae vanitates saeculi.

A vampire will never know the pleasures of life and the vanities of the world/age.

59. Lamia non requiret solatium foci[?].

A vampire will not require the comfort of a family.

60. Vampires nunquam carnalem delectationem cum mortalibus requirent.

Vampires will never seek carnal pleasure with mortals.

61. Vampires nunquam mortalium consortia quaerunt.

Vampires never seek the company of mortals.

62. Vivere inter homines ....nt labentibus annis lamia ad insaniam.

To live among humans .... the passing years ... a vampire to madness.

63. Vivere inter homines alios videre senescere ac mori sicut lamia nunquam sequila[?] lamia ad insaniam impellet.

To live among humans and see others grow old and die, like vampires would never, will drive vampires to insanity.

64. Lamia non ....patem quaerunt.

A vampire not ... seek.

65. Vampires in choro[?] delectationem non reg...rent.

Vampires do not ... delight in dance.

66. Vampires in musica non quaerunt ....tem.

Vampires do not seek .... in music.

67. Lamia(e) non[?] actibus[?] delectationem quaerunt,

Vampires do not seek pleasure in perfomances.

68. Vampires litterae** voluptatem non requirent.

Vampires do not seek pleasure in books.

**thank you lilium-in-blue

69. Vampires magicae non ....ionem requirent.

Vampires do not seek .... magic.

81. Factor amittit fac....diendi f.lli sui cogitationes ..c ...tium est donum obscurae largi...

The maker loses .... his thoughts ... is Dark Gift ...

82. Lamia in alias formas inc..sa europaea mutare poterit sed numquam in ...rundom africanum vertere poteris.

A vampire in other forms ... European ... will be able to change but never in ... African ... will be able to turn.***

*** I have no idea what this means. Words are missing and the whole sentence can have a completely different meaning than what it looks like now. My first thought was that it was some kind of reference to Akasha and Enkil. Please don't jump to conclusions.

83. Veri filii dei potestatibus eam ...per fidem resistere possunt s.... ....e sunt creaturae infidelis damnatorum.

True children of God .... powers ... can resist faith ... are the creatures ... damned unfaithful.

84. Lamia corpora aquae salsae in aestus maximo et infimo .a.tum transibunt.

A vampire will cross bodies of salt water ... at high and low tides.

85. Ut tempus mortale depopulatur corpus lamia depopulabitur tempus ut anni decennia vertuntur in saecula millennii corpus petrificat et lamia volvitur in saxum.

As time destroys the mortal body, so the vampire will be destroyed over time, as the decades turn into the centuries of the millennium, the body petrifies and the vampire turns to stone.

86. Vampires victimas non relinquent ubi a mortalibus cognosci possint nisi tales dolores fuerint ut mors non sit causa praeternaturalia.

Vampires will not leave their victims where they can be recognized by mortals unless they are wounded in such a way that their death does not seem supernatural.

87. Lamia vera loquetur scobe[?] domino.

The vampire will speak the truth ... to the master.

88. Lamia domino suo asse obediet eique exhibebit quantum tale officium postulat.

A vampire will obey his master and will give him as much as such a duty demands.

89. Lamia ad omnes casus paretur.

A vampire is prepared for everything.

90. Lamia paratus ad immolandum se ad bonum testudinis.

A vampire is willing to sacrifice himself/herself for the good of the coven.

91. Paratus lamia paratus erit suum testudinum et dominum suum ab omnibusiminis externis et domesticis defendere.

A prepared vampire will be ready to defend his/her coven and his/her master from external and internal threats.

92. Super omnia custodiatte.

Above all, be vigilant.

93. Nullam lamia eg... posuere eget t.n.idunt quam.

No vampire ... needs to put ...

94. Si lamia in...niret socium lamia fractam testudinis regulas tali de..sta domino cousco referentur.

If a vampire ... vampire breaks the rules of the coven, such ... they will be reported to the coven master.

95. Defectum de .ae...is membris certi... facere faciet ..os criminum facitos[?] lamia ac s ... .a... miserit.

The failure of ... members ... will make ... crimes ... vampire ... will be killed/released.

96. Ignorantia testament.. regulae non erit acceptabile defensionem contra regulas praevaricationis.

Ignorance ... of the rules will not be an acceptable defense against breaking the rules.

97. Admissa in cr..am un ... via exeundi ...

Admitted ... way ... avoid ...

98. Pactum lamia s... et pacem[?] praesedit.

A vampire pact ... and presides over peace.

TL;DR: Very cult-like rules, calling for restraint, moderation, obedience. Lots of little callbacks.

Let me know if you spot any mistakes or can add anything. I'm used to translating from Latin, but not into English. Latin is a bit tricky, mainly because of the crazy word order.

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Armand stalking Daniel on his press tour, pretending to be a journalist, sitting in the back row and furiously scribbling ✨Mr. Armand Molloy✨in his notebook with glitter gel pen

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armand refusing to go to sleep because he’s scared of waking up to daniel dead next to him. he has to stay up and be there to save him.

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some book armand descriptions that tickled me

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Louis de Pointe du Lac and Lestat de Lioncourt in Interview with the Vampire | 1.07 "The Thing Lay Still"

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— jessica therese, from ‘a different kind of heartbreak’ (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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lavender marriage Remus x Mary raising harry save me

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Nothing tickles my brain as much as a good Lily and Remus friendship. Platonic soulmates James and Sirius are good, but platonic soulmates Lily and Remus are better. They are such a good duo, and they make most Wolfstar fics so much better!!!

just Lily and Remus>>>>> they are fire people (I do not ship them btw)

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Barty thinks love is all-consuming. he thinks love is touching skin and never letting go. he believes love is gripping hair and arms. it feels like squeezing tight until there's no longer air.

it's squeezing and crushing and destroying, it's blood under nails and scrapes on flesh. it's fighting back and the struggle for power, it's bite and chewing. it's fleshy and chewy. it's red and pink like skin and meat. it's breaking bone and screaming tone. it's ripping and tearing and cries of fear.

the insides on the out and finding a place within. it's eating someone entirely they are a part of you. it's your blood in mine, your part in me. it's keeping your heart in my hands and your blood on my skin.

it's you and me for eternity.

Evan thinks the very same.

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Remus’ first transformation on his own again after Sirius goes to Azkaban

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Remus only allows himself to eat Regulus out if he's on his knees or being sat on because he'd otherwise start kicking his feet in excitement