ondolastea - Tumblr blog

[ondolastea]

Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses

[ondolastea]

Gandalf in The Hobbit: You are Took and that makes you absolutely suited for adventure!

Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring: Who the FUCK let the Took come on this adventure?

[ondolastea]

Orc BBQ would be fucking unreal

[ondolastea]

11/2/2022

[ondolastea]

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves

[ondolastea]

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

[ondolastea]

sex is a lot like lord of the rings. it’s over nine hours long, there are giant deadly spiders, legolas is there

[ondolastea]

I don’t think any movie will make me feel the same ethereal sense of otherworldly sorrow and disembodied awe as that scene in Lord of the Rings where the loyal son is sent off into a doomed battle to please his vindictive father while Pippin sings a mourning song of his people

I was like 12 and high off this shit

[ondolastea]

I think!!!! Beleg should get to have a random brain malfunction of the "I'm late for school!!! Wait I'm 30" sort and accidentally mix up bandaging Turin's Battle Wounds™️ with handling like, a skinned knee.

Please, I'm begging to see both their faces if Beleg idk kisses Turin's forehead and beams "All done! 🥰" while Turin is covered in orc blood and very much not five years old

[ondolastea]

Not to bring up peter jacksons h*bb*t trilogy (yuck) on main, but do you know how horrible of a writing choice was making the elves vegetarians for laughs? Elven history is full of legendary hunters. Hell, the god that first taught them how to road trip (an important part of elven culture) is literally the GOD OF HUNTING. In fact, we have more evidence for elves hunting than farming! Implying otherwise is celegorm erasure and i will NOT stand for it!

[ondolastea]

Oh no oh no my research into Khuzdul morphology lead me to a page on that brought up the connections between Khuzdul and Adûnaic, and the specific example it used was talking about how in Adûnaic, “gimlu-nîtir,” which means “kindler of a star,” incorporates the objective form, since “gimlu” is the objective of the word for star, which is “gimli”

And given that this is Tolkien and there is very little coincidence with his languages, and also that it’s canon that dwarves use names from the languages of Men instead of their Khuzdul ones when interacting with non-dwarves, that means Gimli is actually named “star” and I’m having some kind of feelings about it!

[ondolastea]

all dwarves are genderqueer, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ondolastea]

Everybody who wears The One Ring in LOTR starts to refer to it as ‘My Precious,’ and Tolkien’s right that is super creepy, but what I really love is that everybody does it, which says to me that this super powerful scary evil sentient ring has a favorite pet name and just, like, will not respond to anything else.

[ondolastea]

my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in

[ondolastea]

hot take: Pippin is the only one of the hobbits who is ‘team Arwen’ in the ‘who is the most beautiful woman in the world’ argument

[ondolastea]

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer's Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot....why the fuck are we horny for elves

[ondolastea]

figuring out where to go next is DIFFICULT when you’re split three ways.

i cant stop doodling the three hunters aka Aragorn and his annoying pet gremlins