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im doomed by the narrative but the narrative is a bunch of conscious choices i've made in the past

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okay i'll bite is such a good phrase. like i will

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the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

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I love when paranormal investigators appeal to their long experience for credibility. I've been playing pretend for seventeen years, and let me tell you in that time I've imagined some shit you wouldn't believe.

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this was so not worth crawling out of my grave for

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beautiful women named extreme heat warning keep blowing up my phone

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hey bro can we like adopt paralleling themes and symbolize opposites but in a two sides of the same coin kind of way? it doesn’t have to be weird. wait what do you mean thats gay

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having anti punitive justice morals sucks because you want to say "man that guy sucks he should get hit with hammers until he dies" but you also want to make it clear you don't think anyone should be put in charge of the 'hit people with hammers until they die" machine.

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what do people do if they’re not obsessed with anything

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oh? my purple denim pants? you mean my

auberjeans

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Burt And Ernie At The Gay Rodeo

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it's simple really: october is for horror movies with highly stylized villains and iconic monsters because they make for good costumes. early november is for gothic horror because of the fog and decay etc. late november is for zombies (commentary on consumerist culture). december is for psychological horror and stuff where they're trapped in a room because that's when you have to go to holiday parties with your family.

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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

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if i made a bruce springsteen movie it would all be made up. not even a biopic. the e street band gets abducted by aliens and has to learn to bring peace to two warring planets through the power of song