oneclumsybat

[oneclumsybat]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[oneclumsybat]

One sad side effect of big box stores is that you just don’t get lifelong hyper fixation guy access like you used to.

Like yeah I can go to Menards and buy a door.

But it used to be I could go to the door store, and speak to a man whose sole passion in life was doors and who would talk about the history of door insulation patterns over the last 50 years without stopping to breathe.

That man is gonna find me the BEST door option for me.

Seriously my neighborhood had one of these. They were across the street from the lighting shop owned by the guy who could tell you the exact date, off the top of his head, that your property got electrical wiring based on your address.

Now these guys rarely get to own a shop, make a good living, and sell the very finest doors for decades. They’re relegated to Reddit posts which are informative but ultimately do not replace door guy having a door shop.

I don’t want to talk to some miserable, underpaid 20 year old who was in plumbing last week and in doors this week and doesn’t know a hammer from a hanger.

I want my door guy back.

[oneclumsybat]

A parallel to the "only Darcy had to get over his pride and prejudice" falsehood is the "only Darcy was a socially awkward dumbass" falsehood.

This is "Elizabeth is a socially awkward dumbass" erasure and I will not stand for it.

Darcy is not naturally awkward, he's only a socially awkward dumbass when he is in love and struggling with it, which he unfortunately is for most of the book, poor guy. Elizabeth is in love and struggling with it for only a few chapters of the book, but she is also a socially awkward dumbass during these chapters.

When Darcy comes back to Longbourn near the end of the book (ch 53-54), Elizabeth doesn't know where to look, can't stand making eye contact, but also can't stand not looking at him, is confused when he speaks to her, wants to speak to him, but is also scared to speak to him, can't think of anything to say, can only say the most dull polite small talk things to him instead of showing any of her normal sparkling personality, stands there silently staring at him like a dope, gets mad at herself for not talking to him, gets mad at him for not talking to her, gets mad at everyone else who does talk to him, can't be polite to other people, decides she's never going to think about him again, keeps thinking about him anyway, screws up her card playing because she keeps staring at him, and so on. She's ridiculous.

Elizabeth does all of the things that everyone mocks Darcy for. She is just as much an idiot as he is, it's just that her idiocy doesn't stretch for an entire year like Darcy's does.

[oneclumsybat]

Women in Shakespeare

[oneclumsybat]

seems a little unfair that I’ll never have my portrait made by John Singer Sargent. I would have been really good at it. there’d be just a hint of canny amusement in my gaze toward the viewer and everything

[oneclumsybat]

did you title your knitting blog like this on purpose or am i the bad guy

[oneclumsybat]

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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[oneclumsybat]

Call now to recieve help with the inability to make phone calls!

Fill out this forum to receive assistance with your difficulty filling out forms

Come on down to our center thats two hours away so we can give assistance with your inability to walk or drive

There's help out there! You're just not trying hard enough!

[oneclumsybat]

i think love is stored in nighttime conversations and “did you eat yet” and books left outside your door and “i waited to watch this with you” and splitting something in half to share and “im proud of you” and folded towels and “you can pick” and heads on shoulders and “you’re right, that was shitty. im sorry” and knocks on doors and “DINNER!” and stupid jokes and “hey i got this for you” and coffee made just right and… there are so many ways people say i love you silently every day over and over again if you only listen

[oneclumsybat]

rereading northanger abbey and finding another of austen’s commonly marketed out of context quotes about reading (“the person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid”). and while this quote out of context doesn’t piss me off as much as the one from pride and prejudice (“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.”), i remember seeing discourse around this quote several years ago. and i agree that without context calling someone stupid just because they don’t read novels is incredibly pretentious at best.

but the context to this quote is so goddamn important, both novel context and historical context. prior to this exchange, catherine had been vexed by another man who told her that reading novels was a stupid waste of time, so hearing henry confirm to her that her hobby was not that was so reaffirming. the historical context makes this even more prescient—at the time this was written, the early nineteenth century, novels were not considered high art or literature. novels were often almost exclusively romances or gothic horrors. they were most often read by women (upper class women especially), whereas intellectual men would tend to read poetry, philosophy, the Classics (read: antiquity). (this is also why henry makes the emphasis that this applies to people regardless of gender—the novel was often derided because of its mostly female audience, and right before this catherine assumes henry would prefer to read “better books” because he’s a man!)

northanger abbey, as a novel, is a satire of the popular gothic horrors of the time but also a critique of the ways in which the novel as an art form is derided by men and intellectuals. frankly, we see this today still with derision of airport literature or booktok books—that’s the modern equivalent of this conversation.

the quote isn’t saying, “if you don’t read [fiction], you’re an idiot.” the quote is saying, “if you refuse to engage with an entire art form because you think it’s below your standards or otherwise ‘low art,’ then you’re annoying and not as smart as you think you are.”

in short, read the book before circulating out of context quotes from it.

[oneclumsybat]

The Ancient Roman House of the Birds, named for its mosaic with 33 different bird species.

Italica, Spain

Dec. 2019

[oneclumsybat]

[oneclumsybat]

I love the names of wolf 359 tracks omg I just discovered them

incredible stuff

[oneclumsybat]