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[onemadmommyof3-blog]

Still Seeking Heaven

I want to first say I am nobody special at all to most of you, and especially to myself, I am special to my daddy and my momma, they call me baby-girl. I am also special to my son Joshua all the time, and sometimes both of my older children, as all families do we have our moments, my moments are usually very short lived, as soon as someone stops yelling at me I can take a few breaths and shake it off, maybe go have a cigarette,, A  choice few can keep me angry for years on end, that does not mean I do not love them and miss them, it simply means for everyones safety and peace of mind its better to part ways for now, or maybe forever and if the Lord leads us to see one another here and there it is ok, we can remain civil and not cause a problem at all. That is mainly for my exes, as they have hurt me more than they should have ever dared. I don't throw away people or love, I intended to be with each of them forever and always, but they weren't ready to do the same, Be honest with people, we all make mistakes and that's ok, but why drag someone along or make a promise to them concerning the heart that you don't intend to keep. I have always taken comfort in knowing I paid for myself and my children and I love to help my husband and his children as well, if I was rich I would make sure all of us had enough to live on comfortably. I hate to see anyone in pain or doing without. Even if we may have had a huge falling out I guarantee that if I could I would help you still, until it becomes clear I was just someone used and thrown aside, I have several new names to add to the couple I had already learned the hard way from. The y’s. Why did I try so hard when they made it clear I was worse than anything ever seen on this planet, Why is simple, I have this stupid heart that wont let me hate anyone at all, it has to feel pain for them for harm they have endured,  I ,have heard the most insane lies about myself in the past 3 years, I am being told people fear I would kill Joe or anyone else, not true at all, I hate death, I fear it so, I have never went a day in my life since as far back as I can remember without wondering if today is the day a snake kills me, or im a crash victim, or burned to death in a fire. I felt something when Joe and I were just falling in love and had Joshua home and his little girl was living with him, it was a state of sheer bliss, I can only imagine that it would be how Heaven must feel, I felt safe, I felt peace, I felt like everything was really ok for the first time ever in my life. I now think hell is where I have been since someone somewhere made up their minds to tell the world Im insane, that I am not Ginny, I died, I am on drugs, and I harm children. Anyone who knows me at all for real knows I would die myself before allowing a child to be harmed in my care. I would say I will let mine go off alone to play because those ones I have to trust do what I taught them, but your babies are gifts to you from our God and I can not just order up a replacement to present mom and dad when they return. I keep them with me. sometimes we just sit and watch tv or play quietly, but its not in mean spirits, its my fear of failing you. I strive to do all my jobs to the best of my ability. I know you wont have your child come call you out of your name from being with me. We respect all parents here, even if we don't agree with them always or at all. Some men amuse me with their games, leave the babies out of big adult issues. Some women also get me in a state of shock at the petty back stabbing insults they will throw once they have blocked you from seeing them. How did it go I always heard? If you don’t have something nice to say then say nothing, and if you didn’t witness something with your own eyes then what you think does not matter, its hearsay and most likely so far off track you will look insane for just speaking the stuff you may have heard. I also have been accused of saying I am God, hold up there, no way do I think that, God is amazing and gave us all we have now and ever. I am nowhere near that Epic. I am just like most of you, I love big and expect nothing in return except respect and love back, or at least honesty about hating me with a real reason, not hogwash. I am also not Satan or doing his works, like I said life is valuable to me, no room for wishing or causing death upon others, a mom is all I am, one who knows all moms should agree if any child dies a mom is hurt, I hate pain also. I need my son to glow again, I do not think I could live on if he was taken from this Earth by God to go to Heaven with him. Heaven is my home with Joe and him here on Earth, until the big boss calls us all back to his home in the sky. Heaven is the love these boys Joe and Joshua surround me with, and of course those girls are just as epic in making it happen here on Earth, happy smiling babies, moms and dads, Heaven to me. 

[onemadmommyof3-blog]

Why Mississippi is the worst State Ever

Imagine having it all, a beautiful home, adorable children and a man who supports you and makes you feel loved in every way possible. Nice thought, and it was quite the life to live, “The Life Of Riley” Kenny would joke, but looking back he was spot on. Joshua and I had it made in the shade, Kenny, his amazing, handsome, hardworking and loving daddy, worked his fingers to the bone to provide everything we needed, and a lot of what we wanted, and even things we had no clue we wanted. He loved to pamper us with little gifts and notes when he would come home late in the night and look over our days schoolwork.Now imagine this man goes to work one night and passes away suddenly and your whole world comes crumbling down. There I was in May 2017, left with my newly 7 year old special needs son. His daddy and I had been the ideal parents for this amazing young man, I a nurse who handled his health care with ease and daddy a mechanic and fabricator who could make anything he needed to thrive with his condition. I thought my world had ended that day, I was in a state of disbelief, he had been so amazing, so strong, so wise, so perfect, and so healthy. He was a fit and trim 150 pounds, not skin and bones, he had muscle in the right places. I used to ask if there was anything he could not do with perfection, everything he did was unbelievable to me. He strived for perfection. He loved to let people know he was an asshole, he wanted tp be the best one ever, and he was. He joked he was working to the title bastard. and when he died with no will in place for his children I told him he could now use the term with honor. Not mean at all, he would be proud he made it. He would also love to be here watching our son grow, but God, as I told our son that night, had other plans for daddy, he needed him more. The war that started that night has not ended as of yet, my son has been forcibly abducted with the help of a CPS agent named Nancy Keys, who bragged about the amazing job I had done with my child, hugged me, told me I was a perfect parent and that they valued me for helping save the children. problem is when she realized what a great mother I was she waged war to protect her job instead of protecting my childs life, and for that I honestly pray she spends the rest of her life in prison. Along with a very nasty male predator that happens to be the Uncle of my Daughter in Law, since 2008 he has held my middle child under some sort of evil spell, luring him away with cell ohones and clothing from the male, in exchange for his attention, and presence on his semi truck, sadly what seened so innocent quickly became apparent, this man would send me photos of my son in truck stop bathrooms, he would talk about the size of my teenage sons package, and he had the help of Pearl RIver County Sheriff Deputies who took him at his word as he abducted my then 15 year old son by getting them to say I had no power to stop him from leaving the state with him, he had told them I wanted to be his sexual partner and he had said no, which is a blatant outright lie. I was in a relationship with Joshuas father and was very happy, the man now is still preying on teen boys, don't let him fool you, when my son refused to be his boy toy and got a female girlfriend he kicked him to the curb and left him homeless, that is until he got his niece to pretend she wanted him for love when in reality he is just a slave to her and the whole family for Art. She is a nasty, lying, non caring mother who prefers money over life any day, her babies will tell her of awful abuse and she will keep it from my son until they tell me or him and he puts his foot down. In April 2019 she stole my son for his paycheck, and in this corrupt state she has gotten away with it with the help of some very corrupt police officers. Her paperwork is false, verified by many CPS admits she did this to gain control of my sons money. His dad left him something behind, ahe found out about it and knew she would lose her control of my child when she was discovered for being the one to cost him his first child and every relationship he has been in since we moved here. He is begging for help as is my youngest son who keeps me alive with his smile and guidance. They for real had him charged with a crime of neglect stating we lived in two different homes, one of them an address that does not exist. As of this moment I would offer a reward to anyone who could locate my family and accompany me to pick up my sons, grand children, who had been badly abused at my last visit with them before the kidnapping, and my elderly disabled veteran father. This woman and her uncle are using medications to drug people and using black magic witchcraft to instill fear into them. Please help us in any way you see fit. What we have on this agency is enough for us to win a case to shut down all of CPS And our government and start the new world order leaving men women and children forever in heaven right here on Earth. Trust me I was there with my new husband and our children before it made her want what we had.