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all I want is my berry blast smirnoff and to kill maybe two or three people but that's it

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if you fictionkin me I'll rip you in fucking half

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I love being right. helps that I usually am

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is our horrible fucking roommate gone so I can make myself something to eat

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THINGS TO SAY IF YOU'RE TRYING TO APPEAR HUMAN

beginners guide :> 💗

CASUAL CONVERSATION OPENERS

"I am very afraid of tornadoes"

"I love listening to songs, when is the next song coming out?"

"would you rather have four cars or two bicycles?"

"I would like to be cherished and loved"

COMPETITIVE CONVERSATION OPENERS

"I am better than you at everything"

"tornadoes are afraid of me"

"you are afraid of me"

All-Around, Versatile Conversation Finishers

"we are done here"

"pretty sure we are done here"

"I've had enough"

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I need to punch something really hard

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So you’re cool with joking about indiscriminate murder

girl do you really have time for this when i’m literally about to kill you with my powers

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not to like repeat an overused joke, like i mean this so genuinely, taylor swift looks like at least 1/3 of white women to me, like i have met so many women who look like taylor swift, i do not understand at all when people are all “oh she’s gorgeous” like she’s kind of just a white woman

[only-man-in-the-sky]

me when noises happen in a certain way or my routine is disrupted or I don't like a smell

really hate how autism is treated like a superpower or like soft uwu baby condition because man you have no idea the homicidal violent rage I feel when things trigger meltdowns and shit

[only-man-in-the-sky]

really hate how autism is treated like a superpower or like soft uwu baby condition because man you have no idea the homicidal violent rage I feel when things trigger meltdowns and shit