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[onyxiex]

morning after tarurun… tehe.. think i drew this with my brain turned off dont think too hard about it

[onyxiex]

saw fanart of diluc with a bird landing on his arm and i mistook it for silverash so i was obligated to draw this crossover

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good influence

(original comic here)

[onyxiex]

Who do you think would make the weed/ 420 joke to weedy :3c

Catapult: Listen, how was I supposed to know she was a total clean freak who wouldn’t smoke if her life depended on it?

Catapult: I mean she chose to be called Weedy, anyone could have made that mistake.

[onyxiex]

The Stranger

The operators knew they were going into Chernobog to rescue a doctor whose specialty was in the neurological effects of oripathy. A few knew that Kal’tsit didn’t think they were worth the risk, that Amiya had decided to go in the moment she heard they were in the hospital, and would not be persuaded otherwise. Fewer still knew this Doctor worked for Babel, that they had a reputation for creating victory from impossible situations. And the number who had any idea of the situation they were about to be put in, could be counted on one hand.

Despite Kal’tsit’s reservations the doctor proved their worth. A combination of detection arts and access to nearby cameras and devices through the neural link in their helmet made them essentially locally omniscient. Off the battlefield they were extremely diligent, any issues they had due to memory loss quickly resolved by just how fast they were able to learn.

What no one expected was just how personable they could be. From the outside they appeared larger than life, a dark mysterious figure at Amiya’s side. This impression usually lasted until the first conversation they had with Doctor. As one operator put it:

“They aren’t dumb, but they are a dumbass.”

Kal’tsit barely recognised them. She watched them getting to know every operator personally and wondered how long it would last. How long would it take until the Doctor relearned the harsh lessons of war, of loss. Until they began taking acceptable risks, acceptable casualties. Because every time she heard them talking or laughing with the others she remembered that voice speaking coldly,

“Kal’tsit, you can’t win a game of chess if you care about the pieces.”

[onyxiex]

All the servants associated with the underworld/death/hell fighting for afterlife custody rights of Guda and Guda is just chilling in the background sitting down with Void Shiki showing her memes on their phone.

Clock Tower agent: Miss Ritsuka Fujimaru, do you have any last words before your execution for violation of magecraft's secrecy?

Gudako: Yeah, uh, you can't kill me.

Agent: Is this a challenge?

Gudako: No as in I literally shouldn't die. I've already died.

Agent: What?

Gudako: I mean when you work a job as dangerous as Chaldea's it's bound to happen eventually right? But then like half of all the world's afterlifes showed up to claim my soul, everyone took everyone to court, and everybody had a shortage of lawyers because everybody kept dumping their lawyers in their bad place or reincarnating them into bugs which made procedures take forever, ugh. Eventually Anubis agreed to process every claim at once, but then Ereshkigal claimed it would be a kangaroo court rigged in Nitocris' favor, but then no one wanted the Rulers to judge as more than half of them would be biased towards Christianity, but then the Valkyries suggested to proceed with trial by combat instead of legal procedures, BUT THEN Beni-enma kicked down the court doors and tossed in Hades' severed head which caused everyone in the crowd to get up and start hitting the nearest person in the face and it was just... A mess.

Gudako: Anyway, it turns out you can't actually die die until they decide where your soul goes, so the whole time I was brain dead in a hospital bed. Since my judgement took so long however, my body healed up completely so I could just call Dantes to come pick my soul up and go back to work the next day.

Agent:

Gudako: Also King Hassan is standing behind you and he says "Forsooth, if my eyes are forced to bear witness to that most vexing sequence of bullshit once more, I shall smite all involved before smiting myself." So uh, don't kill me if you want to live.

Agent: ...I want my mommy.

[onyxiex]

forever and ever I will insist raita’s best work is when he’s drawing older and/or slightly sickly looking men and the rare occasion where he carries that energy into his ladies

[onyxiex]

Share Altera for S rank summons in FGO

[onyxiex]

Sherlock Holmes Fucked My Mom, an anthology series about the domestic misadventures of a teenage protagonist whose single mother keeps hooking up with various public domain literary figures.

[onyxiex]

date a selkie, but don’t hide her cloak. let her go home and visit her family now and then, knowing that she’ll come back and hang her seal cloak in the closet like she always does. trust is important.

[onyxiex]

@0atk​ youve inspired me

ref below the cut vv

Keep reading

[onyxiex]

For anyone not keeping up, Trump held a rally earlier today, told his supporters to storm the Capitol building with him, then went to hide in the White House.

Protestors tore through 4 layers of barricades and are fighting cops to get into the Capitol building. A possible bomb was spotted and the Madison and Cannon buildings have been evacuated while a bomb squad was called in. And just now the Capitol has gone into lockdown.

But also Pence issued a statement that he is not doing anything with the electors and McConnell denounced Republican senators’ efforts to stop counting the electoral votes.

And as I was writing this, the protesters breached the Capitol and Pence was pulled from the Senate chamber.

[onyxiex]

Emil Nekola Headcanons

- Emil ties with Phichit for being the most gregarious member of the skate fam

- Also like Phichit he can drink just about anyone under a table

- While Michele thinks Emil has a thing for Sara, and he appears clingy with both twins, he just really wants to be friends with them

- He’s a giant sci fi nerd. He loves Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, basically ANYTHING in the genre. His coach once had to talk him out of wearing spock ears for a routine.

- Known for his love of extreme sports, he did once take part in an extreme ironing competition while scuba diving just so he could tell people he’d done it

- His funko pop collection is getting out of hand and it irritates his parents greatly. Yes, he still lives at home.

- He’s a good enough skier that his skiing instructor wanted him to switch to skiing. He refused

- He’s easily giddy and excitable and he all but jumped up and down on the spot when he met Viktor for the first time

- He loves photobombing, especially when other skaters are getting interviewed after competitions. He’s been told by the ISU to quit it

- At high school he was voted most likely to win a Darwin Award because he’s just too silly at times

- He’s the only skater who has more followers on Tik Tok than on Instagram

- He is a giant child in the best way possible and he will always make you laugh

[onyxiex]

enter the golden house

[onyxiex]

every time zhongli’s coat tails fly up i feel like i just accidentally upskirted him… mr zhongli… your dignity…

[onyxiex]

love it when he goes batshit crazy

fuckin lose it you funky little man

[onyxiex]

dragon zhongli + closeup