oofity0330 - Tumblr blog

[oofity0330]

Since i have no therapist since we’re in quarantine..

How is My quarantine going? well, i've tried calling the suicide hotline twice but hung up before they could answer. i tried texting but i also couldn't wait. My mom is always fucking drunk. like i mean ALWAYS she has an addiction to it. So does my dad. My dad tried calling me multiple times, i ignored everyone of them. He left voicemails and he was drunk in one of them. My grandparents are always on my ass to be better but i can't deal with it. Every damn day not even a hello its her yelling at me for literally fucking anything. I couldn't care fucking less. My mom gets drunk with our roommate who is a TERRIBLE influence but i really don't care. Honestly i like her. but She gets drunk and high around her 2 kids who are 5 and 4. like what the actual fuck. and AT LEAST if my mom gets drunk or high in front of me i feel like its rude not to offer me anything. I mean obviously shes not going to. but if shes gonna be such a dick i.e snapping at me ALL the time i am sorry that you're friends are out of a job but don't fucking snap at me just cause you know i can handle it. I take care of my fucking self. I am 15! 15! shit isn't okay. i keep waiting for her to go to work so i can smoke weed even if i don't get high. I like tequila. at 15 i like tequila. i don't have an addiction cause honestly my mom pretends to hide it from me but in reality just drinks it all so there's nothing to hide. I miss my friends Well, kinda i like to stay in my room and not talk for DAYS as long as i have entertainment, but i miss the feeling of making someone laugh. Someone capable of having emotions. I dont have the energy to do my homework, i already have 2 C's and were only 2 weeks into online school. I like someone who doesn't like me back AGAIN. I've also been sex crazed?? I turned 15 and i spent the day with the people who i dislike the most. My birthday cake had flowers and isabell on it. I almost screamed. My mom made the whole day about her. My cake said isabell on it. I hate that name it's not me. I want to change my name honestly. I'm not sure about my first name but i will NEVER be a rivera. I don't even like being a reynolds I might just be a Riveiro. I always feel like there's something wrong. like its a weird feeling. I can go to extatic to hyperventilating in less than 1 hour. I was out on the trampoline just feeling the cool air when my drunk mom comes in starts bouncing around and the second i say stop she tells me to do inside. i said no and she got louder and louder and i almost said fuck you and left. what i really did was get off slam the door and slam my bedroom door. Also my dad is a fucking liar. he said that my cousins grandma died of corona. she died of a heart attack. he's trying to get me to call him. Such a fucking asshole. I’m really sad. and really tired and i wish i could die..