oopsanonbinary

[oopsanonbinary]

We’re ten or less years away from the omegaversification of this, we realize this right?

Are you familiar with Jaques-Toussaint Benoît's Pasilalinic-Sympathetic Compass?

holy shit

[oopsanonbinary]

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

[oopsanonbinary]

This is the kind of messaging you really want to be seeing from the global hegemon

[oopsanonbinary]

liberals love using that quote about not relying on "the master's tools" and then the tool they're talking about is the concept of wielding power to achieve a goal

[oopsanonbinary]

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

[oopsanonbinary]

Them: stop posting butch and femme Anthony Bourdain

Me:

[oopsanonbinary]

[oopsanonbinary]

everyone’s talking about how unhinged fans are nowadays about their blorbos. well let me tell you that when the polish writer henryk sienkiewicz first published his novel ‘with fire and sword’ in parts between 1883 and 1884, and killed off the beloved character longinus podbipięta, people nationwide were so upset they’d go to church and ask for requiem masses to be held in his memory. match THAT freak

[oopsanonbinary]

[oopsanonbinary]

twisted spine as in evil or as in scoliosis?

My spine contains both evil and scoliosis

[oopsanonbinary]

discussion about right wing radicalisation focuses near-exclusively on men becoming white nationalists but i wonder how it might manifest elsewhere. like, imagine a heavily online subculture of mostly women and they're dedicated to rooting out degeneracy, maintaining a rigid social order, refusing to acknowledge scientific consensus, being violently paranoid of a dehumanised other, adhering to exclusively eurocentric standards of beauty and politically dedicated to exterminating a minority group (possibly one that was already historically targeted for genocide). that'd be fuckin crazy lol

[oopsanonbinary]

IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[oopsanonbinary]

I kill you

[oopsanonbinary]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[oopsanonbinary]

tt/mustymemesjr

[oopsanonbinary]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[oopsanonbinary]

Where my freaks at?