opheliasflood

[opheliasflood]

[opheliasflood]

My secret sexual fantasy? Someone knowing me completely, and who also loves, respects and desires me.

[opheliasflood]

seeing her brother brought to tears made ophelia feel even worse - it was her fault, for not confiding in thaddeus everything that had happened. but - god, he had so much on without all her problems. in a way, she'd been trying to protect him from it all, and had successfully done so for years. everything ophelia kept it though, had begun to eat away at her, leaving the blonde a hollow shell.

she just felt tired, all the time, and no matter how much she slept, it never went away.

ophelia raised the hand that wasn't being held to furiously wipe at her eyes yet, it did little to stop her crying. "you didn't know. i never wanted to tell you," it was the truth, after all. "i hate them both. i hate them," there was something childish about the way she spoke, as if finally putting words to feelings and emotions. emir was the boogeyman, someone who'd twisted and shaped ophelia into a form she no longer recognized. she'd foolishly thought that hal had seen something of the original woman underneath, and that it was enough.

it was difficult to hear her brothers words when she didn't really believe them. that didn't mean she wouldn't try, maybe if she pretended to be the person thaddeus thought she was -

"i'm trying. it's just hard,"

Thump, thump Thaddeus could hear his heart beating in his ears as the silence between them filled the room.  Waiting in suspense, it was difficult not to fidget as he sat near here uncomfortably.  Whatever she was about to reveal, he knew it would be testing.  After all, she had it bottled up all these years and never uttered a word to him about it until now.

The already pale man turned ghost white hearing the words her husband hit her.  Tears started to fill his eyes and a deep feeling of remorse and shame fell upon him.  How did he not know his sister needed him?  Little did he realize, his mouth was hanging slightly open as he stared at her with great sadness.

Listening, Thaddeus pressed his eyelids closed as a few stray tears fell upon his cheeks.  Soon, the sadness dissipated and anger filled his veins.  Never in his life had he felt such rage that he wanted to murder someone…actually two.

Ophelia’s question at hand, stirred him out of his anger frenzy and he quickly scooted closer to her and reached for her hand, holding it with his right and laying his left hand over hers to enclose it.  Shaking his head, he started to speak.

“You did nothing wrong.  I–I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I wasn’t there in your time of need.  You did not deserve Emir hurting you nor did you deserve Hal deserting you.” 

Thaddeus continued to hold her hand, there really was no right words for this situation.  Just many regrets of not being there to help, caught up in his own life when his baby sister was hurting.

“You deserve the world Ophelia, you’re absolutely amazing and selfless.”  He gave her hand a light squeeze, needing her to listen to his words, needing her to soak them in and believe them.  “You are worthy.  You are worthy of so many great things.  Never think otherwise.”

[opheliasflood]

she picked her nails for a few moments, silent, trying to find the words most appropriate. ophelia was the picture of grace yet, could completely unravel such an image with her often indelicate manner of speaking. "my ex-husband...emir," the blonde began, letting out a slow breath. who had she explicitly told this to? nobody. nobody.

"he...well. he hit me now and again. just when i refused to be a good and quiet wife, just - fucking arm candy," it was the way it was worded, just, as if that was a justifiable reason for raising a hand to the women one was married to. there was the other reason, to, one ophelia didn't want to speak out loud ; no child had come from the marriage. no heir to the demirci tech conglomerate.

at some point, her hands begun to tremble, still picking at the the corners where small scabs and skin reddened from her ministrations. "i didn't have anybody, at that time. i tried to...tell mom but she just...asked me what i was doing wrong?"

ophelia had told herself to stop crying over it. that tears wouldn't help, and they didn't but...now? recalling the worst part of her life to thaddeus? she could feel the pressure behind her eyes, the building in her chest.

"but then hal came to visit, and he was so nice to me, thad. he looked at me as a whole person, not a - not a fucking object to be placed on a shelf and admired!" the tears began to fall now, dark eyes not looking up, never looking up. "we started sleeping together. it made my life easier, you know? bearable, at least. when i finally...got a divorce, i did so with the idea that hal would be on the other side. that i could be - happy,"

the word is spoken with a pathetically wet laugh.

"he wasn't there. nobody was - nobody was fucking there! and now he has the - the fucking gall to turn up in greywood and act like everything's so fucking normal!" her voice cracks then, and the drops flow into rivers as ophelia sobs. "what did i do so wrong, to deserve the misery i feel?"

“You can tell me anything,” Thaddeus responded, unsure exactly what Ophelia was about to divulge to him.  As she continued, it felt as if his stomach was doing flips.

“Whatever you need to tell me, it is going to be okay.  I am here for you.”

As she instructed him to sit down, he calmly eased himself down onto the sofa as his blue eyes remained on his younger sister.  Right now, he was very nervous but tried to remain still and not fidget, wanting to give Ophelia one hundred percent of his attention and let her know that everything would be fine.

Slowly breathing through his nostrils, he counted slowly as he tried to give her as much time she needed to process whatever she needed to tell him. Thaddeus reached over to gently place his hand on her leg.  “It’s okay, take as much time as you need.”

[opheliasflood]

she took a sip of the drink the moment the glass was filled, noting how artificial it tasted, strong in citric acid and cheap rum and if ophelia had been crueler, she might've made a face of utter distaste. however, in lorelei's lovely presence, the blonde simply swallowed distaste as it had been free, and the gesture kind. dark eyes peered upon the designs presented to her, smile on her face at them, all exactly what she had wanted.

"you're so talented lorelei," ophelia sighed softly, as she herself wasn't capable of such artistry when it came to...anything, really. perhaps makeup? she loved fashion but, that wasn't creating anything that didn't already exist. "i love these ones." she tapped the first set, lilacs with the flowers, very pretty.

"you should! drink and a little gossip, to treat ourselves,"

"True, true, and a lot more fun," she said as she took the can to pour it in and throw the can on her side of the tall table as she got onto the chair. As Ophelia said that she didn't have anything but summer in her mind for today, Lorelei thoguht for a second and turned around to grab a few of the sets of ready designs, she had thought of or copied from different places online in the past weeks. From the time that they knew each other Lei knew her favorite color so she slowly started pulling out from the sets in her press on organizer. She rarely let people get away with simple press ons but she had found through time that it was a perfect display way.

One was a lilac summery set, and then she pulled at the tape of a new butterfly set she had done a few days ago and a last one that was more simple. "I have just the ones for you to choose from," she smirked as she put these aside, but also left the organizer on top so that in case her friend felt like switching to a different color she could pick it. "And then when we're done I might even join with the other cocktail." she said as she looked at the blonde with her usual grin while taking out the items they would need, neatly stacked in a retractable shelf on her side of the table.

[opheliasflood]

Anya Taylor-Joy for Tiffany & Co

[opheliasflood]

the bookcase was back upright, and such a simple gesture almost made ophelia well up with how effortlessly thad had been to help her. maybe that's why she was so nervous about talking to him, his love was completely unconditional towards her, always had been, and the loss of it wouldn't just break ophelia, it would shatter her. the blonde took her place on the fold out couch, where she'd been perched for a while before her brother coming over, knees under her chin.

"i'm going to tell you some things," she began, testing the waters with her words. preparing thaddeus, or at least trying to soften the blows that were going to come.

"and they're not - they're not nice, and it's all a little fucked up, but i -" ophelia swallowed around her words.

"if i don't tell you, then i'm going to completely fucking lose it, thad," all of it had been left in the dark, fermenting for so long that in its over ripeness, it had neared an exploding point. the state of the apartment was just one step before it, after all. the final stage was...well. who knew. ophelia was trying to stop it getting to that point.

"sit down?"

“Not a problem,” Thaddeus responded as he squatted down to lift the bookcase with his legs and was careful not to strain his back.  Working for the fire department made things a lot easier given he needed to remain in shape.  It did not go unnoticed that everything else piled around the apartment, but he figured helping with one issue at a time was the best thing he could do.  Last thing he wanted was for his sister to clam up and ask him to leave.

“Thank you,” he responded as he took the drink and had a sip.

“Uh no, what is going on?”  Their married lives seemed rather strange, neither one really knowing the other’s spouse or their families.  “If I met him, it was a very brief meeting,” he admitted.

[opheliasflood]

Anya Taylor-Joy Variety (2024)

[opheliasflood]

ophelia took her regular seat, taking off her rings and sliding them into the bag she'd brought, glancing up when lorelei walked back in. oh, how she'd kill to have those striking blue eyes her friend carried, like shards of ice that cut through everything they looked upon. "it's still better than tap water," the blonde responded with a bright smile, looking over the cans and picking the daiquiri one. the woman gave the can a gentle tip upside down, assuming it had been sitting in the fridge a while before opening it up for the glass.

"so, i'm thinking that i just want an almond shaped set? i can't hack these coffin shaped ones, they're just not me," she tutted, putting her hands on the table - they were in particularly good shape, apart from the one that had popped off. "i'm open to suggestions for the polish and art, any cute summer ideas you wanted to try?"

"Oh, well I can definitely check, but I doubt it," Lorelei said with an apologetic smile as they entered the now empty salon, with its pink an white interior sparkling as usual. She took pride in always making things look brand new even though it had been a few years since there had been any work done on the inside and she only took in fresh flowers from her back garden when they grew.

She walked to the back room where the waxing table and the fridge were, looking through the cans in the second. She sometimes went outside of town to the closest Target and got packs of these, for customers who had no work and wanted to relax. However, currently it seemed that she only had margarita and daiquiri left. She took one of each and then came out, going behind the wall that hid a small closet where a sink was and shelves with all kinds of different amenities, including the reusable glasses they had for customers which preferred one rather than a straw. "The choice is slim, I'm afraid," she grinned as she walked back out to Ophelia who had taken a seat on one of the high chairs on the manicure long table in the middle.

[opheliasflood]

the gasp was dramatic and it made ophelia sit back in her chair and away from mars, placing her drink down on the table ungracefully and sloshing it over the rim of the glass. it wasn't that bad, right? maybe it was. maybe ophelia shouldn't have brought this up at a brunch of all places. without the alcohol, though, the blonde probably wouldn't have opened up with what was bothering her.

"his name's halil. hal's what he's known as," she responded, taking the mimosa she'd placed down and immediately drinking the whole thing, motioning to a waitress over for a refill of something. ophelia leaned forwards then, as if the two were whispering secrets like children in a playground. "he's hot. still, which really fucks me off? like i wish he'd been in a fire and was all melty and shit,"

the scowl on her face fell quickly though, harsh words not really meant.

"he's a journo, writes articles, whatever...else they do. i don't know," that definitely was a lie, ophelia knew all too well what that job was. "dark hair, dark eyes. kind face, god fuck him!"

Mars feigned shame, lifting his glass to hide behind the bubbly orange drink in the fluted glass, a silly little giggle leaving his lips and the plastered grin all obvious indications the shame was pure pretend and the alcohol was starting to get to him. It was so easy to drink keep drinking when the drink was conveniently in hand and a server was always prompt to replace his empty drink with a fresh one. Perhaps the only occasion where prompt service was doing more harm than good.

In a voice and gesture of exaggeration far off from his usual behavior, Mars let out a gasp of surprise, his mouth falling open comically while he leaned in on an elbow against the table to whisper loudly in her direction, "Scandal! Who is he? Do I know him?" He rested his chin in his palm, fingers curling up to his lips, tapping his lower lip while he sucked on the inside where his piercing was -- sometimes he put it back in now that his daughter was old enough not to grab at it -- metal warm against his tongue.

[opheliasflood]

it seemed that they both walked on eggshells around the other for different reasons, ophelia nodding at her brothers offer to help pull the bookcase back up into a reasonable position. it didn't explain the other things, however, the magazines and shoes, piles of plates on the side. as if a once proud creature had completely given up on itself. which - ophelia felt she was.

"that'd be helpful, thankyou," she called back, finding a clean glass to get thaddeus a drink, and popping a few ice cubes it and a straw also. ophelia came back into the room after, handing the drink over with a smile and sitting on the couch. the air felt stagnant, the two of them being in the situation often - that is, ophelia unable to ask for help, and her elder brother only wanting to provide it.

"i..." she began, licking her lips and looking away from thad for a few moments, wringing her hands in her lap. nervous.

"i texted you, right? about - my former brother in law? did - did you ever meet him?"

There was a nervousness in Thaddeus’ manner, scared Ophelia needed him and he was too blind to see it.  Although her answers sufficed, he decided to question one more time and even gave a gentle push to allow him inside for them to converse more in private.

As he entered, he swallowed thickly not fully believing her explanation but merely nodding.  “I can help you put it back up and get everything situated,” he offered.  Although strong in many ways, he looked at his sister and didn’t think she could lift the bookcase by herself.

“Water is fine,” he smiled as he stepped further into the apartment and looked around trying to see where he could help if she would only allow him.

[opheliasflood]

greywood pride 2024; ophelia spaulding. the bag and dress were both bought from the local lgbtq+ market. ophelia attends parties and parades with friends in solidarity and in support of them- though bisexual herself, it isn't something she's loud and proud of.

[opheliasflood]

girls own the void

Annihilation, dir. Alex Garland | Smother, Daughter | Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell | Alice Mao | TAKE A GOOD LOOK: THIS IS THE BLACK HOLE IN THE CENTER OF OUR GALAXY, Michelle Awad | The Very Pulse of the Machine, Love Death + Robots | Audrey Wollen | @inkskinned​ 

[opheliasflood]

[opheliasflood]

"oh, i'd kill for a can of pre-made espresso martini right now," ophelia responded with a smile in turn as she entered the shop, looking around its cute interior. she had been in slicker nail bars and salons, sure but, a slice of heaven was still that no matter how it looked. she enjoyed this pampering, it made the blonde feel like herself again - that was fancy, and rich, and important.

taking a seat, she slid her bag off her shoulders and down to the floor next to her. "or - y'know, whatever you've got to give," she wasn't fussy with her alcohol, no matter how weak or chemical tasting.

"You know what, you're actually a life saver, I've been dreaming of a good coffee since the am," she grinned as she returned the hug and then thankfully took the plastic cup with a sigh, taking a sip. "Do you want something too? I'm pretty sure I have some canned cocktails left in the back," she smiled, as opened the door for the blonde to come through and head to one of the tables, both free right now.

[opheliasflood]

she knew thad loved her dearly, that she only had to so much as ask and he would try his best to accommodate her - it was just that ophelia lived in perpetual fear of disappointing him. there was an ugliness to her that she didn't want him to see, enjoying the pedestal her brother and his niece often placed her on. for every step made forwards, it seemed three were taken back.

the question burned her, accusatory in its nature, thaddeus seeing right through her lies. or...maybe not. giving her a chance to come clean. the grip on the door tightened, and she fell silent for a few moments. wondering whether or not to let her brother in, both figuratively and literally.

"sure," ophelia responded slowly. "but - it's a mess in here? i was just...trying to shift the bookcase and toppled it over so just - ignore it?"

the blonde opened the door wider.

"want a drink?"

Despite the few years of them living in Greywood and mending that sibling bond, it sometimes felt as if his sister maintained a distance from him.  Never allowing him in too much, for whatever reason.

As he stood outside her apartment door, he wondered if he was going about this the right way.  However, all the missed calls and unanswered texts forced his hand to directly come to the source for an explanation.

When his sister opened the door just a crack, he sighed in relief just seeing her face.  “Is that all it is?  You got busy?”  He questioned his sister, trying to gauge whether she may be lying to him.  Unfortunately, he usually could not tell if someone was lying to him.  Thaddeus tended to see the good in everyone.

“May I please come in?  Catch up?  It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages and I dunno, I feel like something is off with you right now.” 

[opheliasflood]

Me @ myself in the restaurant mirror after 4 glasses of nice wine: Insane but beautiful, how does she do it