opinion-haver

[opinion-haver]

it’s true but people who are into this kind of thought policing are actually intensely fixated on agency. the people who fear an outcome (for example physical violation) appreciate having an extra papery thin layer of the survivability onion— not to be thought of.

this post is not for that audience— in fact, the tone is nearly antagonistic re: the fears that are actually behind the modern puritanical wave. “you don’t want people to do something you don’t want? well you can’t stop it from happening. suck it up” isn’t actually useful to communicate to this audience, who feel basically forced into a smaller and smaller world because of a hyperactive fear gland.

it would be more insightful (and frankly less retributive) to somehow make them understand that sexual violence is an extension of violence and not of sex, and that not all sex is violence, and sex without violence (ie with consent) is not harmful but is in fact a social good. i wonder how we can do that, as the avg person (of which we do not belong to) withdraws into smaller and smaller social circles and knows less freaks than ever.

some of the tags on that post from yesterday are bananas honestly for all that people love to scarybrag about seeing so much explicit material on the internet the actual etiquette that is discursively performed around sexual arousal online is like shockingly naïve to the reality that sexuality is simply something that exists everywhere all the time whether you want it to or not

[opinion-haver]

this is super valid but i must say that a flag is symbolic to a movement. i think that the progress flag became adopted is an indicator that the movement no longer served all its members. so the real question id ask is what do you do when people are left behind in the movement? what happens when the same people who put “no fats no femmes no blacks no asians” band under the same flag as us? (not just band but are the face of the flag— there’s a reason why there’s an L in LGBT after all despite “gay” being semantically descriptive of wlw)

baudrillards comment in america that in the new erotic system after (presumably feminine) sexual liberation, individualism has eclipsed the need for difference in determining identity and has left us “a dissemination of individual sexes referring only to themselves, each managed as an independent enterprise.” i cant help but notice that this comment is relevant here. this flag is emblematic of an atomization after some amt of gay liberation forces an identity crisis (in which the importance between “gay” and “straight” becomes less emphasized). suddenly, we have trans identity becoming much more relevant; we have poc identity eclipse. this is perhaps natural.

(his take is that post-liberation there are new models to move to. he explains that a new model became optimizing individual formula; pointing specifically at the neurotic grooming of the individual that you might see in tech spaces today.)

new models are already popping up; the vanguard has focused its attentions elsewhere, and this flag feels like a stopgap. im excited to see whats to come. i hope the next one is tackier

is this a safe space to say that the additions to the LGBT flag (“progress flag”) are well meaning but undermine the fact that the original colors symbolized vague concepts that could apply to anyone, rather than signifying specific types of human beings, which is, ironically, more “exclusionary” since it begs the question of why “X specific group of humans” aren’t being represented in the imagery now. the original flag completely avoided that conundrum. also it’s a little ugly. But don’t mind me lol.

[opinion-haver]

i think this is an interesting case study into art as property, art as tool.

these images are certainly beautiful— they fall into a pattern— unified with the color and mood its trying to portray. the rusts and the dirty cool tones, the looping gifs. aditya is certainly talented, and those inspired by this gifset have every reason to be.

however, i have questions. the markmaking of each gif is so different as to almost belong to different artists. the first and last were not painted frame by frame clearly, but they have the same sense of movement by using a heavy noise filter. moreover, the gunslinging gif uses opaque, thick lines to render out the scene. the skeletal flower holder uses wispy brushstrokes to eke out the form of the face. and every single face is different to the point of disbelief— first and fourth have this sort of doe eyed anime realism; the second plays with shape in motion, the last is about abstracting the human face to create characteristic.

this makes me suspicious. so i look onto the socials. on his page, every single last profile i see is basically hawking this work as nft. there’s nothing inherently wrong with an nft (env impact aside), an artist desires to get paid for their work, right? but when the only other profile and personal information i see is an X profile, it personally raises more red flags. the instagram posts date back to 2024; with the sheer volume and difference in artistic texture i find it odd how little engagement its getting. it feels like this person makes art solely to sell work. (if not, then one would would imagine a non-online art reputation of which i could find very little.)

along with the ye, trump, and pepe portraits mixed with anime waifs and fancy cubist work, this screams to me if not ai enabled, definitely still made off the backs of other people. and as a copyright agonist, for the most part im fine with that in a vacuum. but really, that this art was made with no history, no dialogue, it is ripped out of the context to be a picture, it makes it lesser as art to me. i can infer the cubism to be trickled down from picasso or braque but when this person does not exist in or serve community, he should not receive the benefits of community either.

that i dont know, will never know for sure will be my cross to bear, and is the intended effect of this sort of obfuscation, so his skill is evident. his work is still striking even if it took no labor at all, even though this sort of markmaking is trying to tell the viewer look, i have done labor. (if your enjoyment of art is tied to how much labor goes into it though, oof.)

theres nothing wrong with enjoying an ai or ripped off picture, from the consumers point of view. theres no being tricked if it made you happy because your enjoyment becomes meaning. but every image you enjoy that is ripped out of context is you losing your own ability to be part of community. your artistic roots will be cut off at a contextless heel. and you will lose the ability to understand why things are beautiful in the context of other people.

aditya (@adityajainart)

[opinion-haver]

I LOVE GAY BDSM.

bdsm is NOT abuse. CNC is NOT abuse. its a curious mix of human interaction that may lie adjacent to harmful actions, but when done safely and properly, it is delightful to everyone involved, and by constantly negotiating the line of what is acceptable, everyone is kept safe (CRUCIALLY this includes community wide).

i care deeply about the wellbeing of my play partners, even as im physically hurting them. the trust of a sub is sacred and inviolable; it would go against my very interest as a sadist to break that trust. and when subbing, i know that my dom is equally invested in my enjoyment— maybe even more so. i also care about the safety of the community around me, just as they care about me.

[opinion-haver]

slay

[opinion-haver]

this sort of thing pokes fun at a greater societal trend of men reducing the interiority of women but it also serves to deepen this divide by making this bioessentialism rooted in stone. memes like this are typically touted by women who want to reverse the tables by erasing the interiority of men (and thereby enact equal revenge on the perceived injustice) but also the very men who proudly hate women (and this meme proves they can’t change, so they have an excuse not to).

it’s much more useful to question why this happens in the first place.

in society women are, within their gender, allowed to have emotional depth and connection. in fact, this is one of the only thing women are allowed to want, as the cishet contract says women have to relinquish their responsibility for personal safety onto their men, and so their only sway over him is the depth of emotional connection, to be wanted. this of course manifests in unsavory ways like women often having to manage emotional load in relationships, but it also makes women inherently dependent on on a well woven social fabric; ie women get to have besties and emotions and dream of loving, attentive partners. and, women are actively discouraged to objectify men; objectification is inherently polygamous — women know they are under the contract (to be owned) and thus cannot lust after something as replaceable as a cock.

on the other hand, men’s social contract happens to be less pro-social. their merit is judged within gender as almost pure competition, and so the individual, the lone wolf, is seen as the standard masculine behavior. they are overall discouraged to imagine the interiority of others, and thus are implied to not need emotional fulfillment by societal expectation. romance to the masculine side of the contract is to own, to have power. polygamy is the ideal state because more power. many men actually do have secret fantasies of caring for women (have you seen any soft mommydom content) but it’s seen as pathetic because it makes you weak.

anyway, this has been a long winded advertisement for mommydom pleasure slave harems.

[opinion-haver]

“bla bla bla the majority of americans are fucking dumb as bricks” thats how we got here!!! thats how we got here!! by writing off the sincerely held opinions of most americans until their pathologies came to dominate unchecked???

the majority of americans have very good reasons to believe what they do. the issue youre taking is that their reasons and beliefs are malign— counter to yours, to others, to individualism. and individualism, you and i might claim, is pathos-cruel and logos-self-effacing, tends towards fash, which will end up in death.

they literally dont care about this. they wouldnt care if randos died or lived on baseline. simple as that.

that’s not stupid. thats pragmatic. and an affront to society as a force for good. and a direct reaction to the sterilization of the common space. when outside is painful and all your interactions with strangers are distilled into joyless formality could you not empathize with a neglected someone for not trusting the common?

vitriol doesnt solve that at all. btw.

[opinion-haver]

that one was particularly hater. tax time: the cultural vein that feeds from irish history to american present is alive through niche though not unrespected corners. i want to say that theres a celebration of irish culture in the ren faire circles, though im not personally tied up in that, and theres solidarity in the modern landscape between ireland and blues, im thinking of hozier though i cant pull to mind anyone else. make note to look into?

[opinion-haver]

super duper agree with most of this but im going to misconstrue the point of the post to nitpick. “i dont know a single country” china. china does this. did you forget to include tiktoks country of origin in your blanket generalization. chinese people censor swears on douyin and they even censor clothed nipples sometimes.

but they DO swear, and joke. “lowbrow” american culture is rife with swears (king kunta kendrick lamar for instance, is a celebration of black american history AND features a well timed “bitch” in its chorus off the top of my head). thats case in point, that conflating culture with its authoritarian regime is folly at best and strengthening their authority at worst.

You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.

[opinion-haver]

ughhhh transandrophobia discourse is happening again.

on the bright side the movements (if you can call it that.) politics are so incredibly reactionary and not at all based in solidarity that it’s like. a clear crab bucket cesspit situation. like these people are STEAMED over this. absolutely joyless miserymongers obsessed with bragging how deep the hole they’ve each dug is. very easy to write off.

[opinion-haver]

these replies perfectly summarize how we got to the issue of devaluing human connection in the first place and how this post is pretty much exacerbating the issue:

“yall are so dumb” - this sentiment writes off an entire population of people who are struggling. literally destroying human connections directly. and i think that in and of itself is dumb

“this is sooooo dystopian” -its pretty obvious how people running to ai therapists fullblown sucks and is dystopian but one must not forget that pointing at an issue isnt actually addressing it, especially when the comparison is rooted in nostalgia.

“these people are pitiful”- another strain of thinking people are so dumb. its patronizing. if you cant find shared humanity— if you cant see within yourself a version that would succumb, you dont understand the problem.

honorable mention: the tools introduced above lend a very fun look into how ineffectual the system is and how these tools dont address at all the reasons why one would speak to an ai therapist in the first place.

worksheets: if i was going through a breakup or panic attack or some shit equivalent you would be absolutely kidding me to think that i would open up a worksheet. im suicidal not a masochist. zero humanity in that response.

chart-games: i find these useful, i even made a modified in-browser personal guide just for myself. but the issue is that most of the times conscious malaise isnt often cured by just eating or drinking just because you forgot. and thats if you remember to go to the website when youre doing badly in the first place. if im in hell im checked the fuck out.

finch: as a daily user of finch, i know directly how helpful this tool can be. it pairs the dopamine rush of games with executive function, like so many other gamified trackers out there. i like the data analysis personally, reflections are so useful to knowing yourself from day to day. but its very much trying to monetize your self care. to gate some of its tools behind a premium subscription because (paraphrase) “you deserve self care” is insidious as hell. and the ways it treats you is patronizing. i know youre dressing up a cartoon bird but i dont think helping the bird discover it likes baby shark is particularly salient to the aging tumblr userbase

ok so ive complained a whole lot. but in order to put money where my mouth is, whats the solution?

well obviously! to foster human connection of course. if these people dont know what real human connection is like its because nobody has BEEN real human connection for them. and vice versa— if you strawman these people into mindless idiots then clearly you dont understand their psyche.

in lieu of an ai therapist, reach out to a gd friend.

if you dont got friends, go make em. its ez. outside is easiest— show up to some kind of local thing or the other. it doesnt have to mesh with you completely but learning about Hetero Jessicas worklife balance is way more illustrative of human reality than chatgpt. but outside is not the only way. go ping someone random. get over the initial fear. fall in love with strangers. learn about their cats and trade cat pictures or some shit. its not easy but its worth it. hell, if you want to dm me i might even reply, if im not busy.

solidarity saved me. it can save you too.

guys. please

[opinion-haver]

for the most part i agree! crying as an instinctive stress response should not be stigmatized. but i want to throw an intersectionality caveat and conundrum: people will readily believe a white womans tears over a black mans protests. this has been historically leveraged against poc. even if the white woman genuinely fears for her life, which likely is most times, the end result is community wide harm.

crying does not mean abdicate your power. it doesnt mean you get to victimize yourself and then alls hunky dory. your tears may have consequences. deal with them.

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[opinion-haver]

that makes me so angry actually. white people will make a song and dance of not knowing any other god damn language other than english. you know how god damn easy it is to like songs you dont understand? the rest of the nonenglishspeaking world is forced to do that goddamn shit all the time! transmascs train your flabby ass empathy muscle.

[opinion-haver]

nobody hates music for just being corny we hate yall because you think having racial bias is a valid aesthetic choice

I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

[opinion-haver]

on voting

it is something you should do if you have the opportunity. if you are not voting as a way of reclaiming agency i find that valid but that can be a mental crutch/shortcut/sabotage and not a meaningful useful political action, which is your goal, to have power on a state level. if youre not voting it just sounds like you want an excuse to feel bad and feel like the world is going to shit instead of actually trying to weaponize your actions.

[opinion-haver]

i feel like the more insidious pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstrap types are poor people who clawed their way up and are now not poor. lottery winners are the staunchest defenders of the lottery etc etc

[opinion-haver]

Marcos Florentino and Kelvin Yule