opossumbyknight

[opossumbyknight]

no more sex. we ran out of sex

[opossumbyknight]

i love drinking coffee

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

I think all computers should have cd slots and all phones should have headphone ports send tumble

[opossumbyknight]

I need dick on a new level never before seen

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

[opossumbyknight]

RIP RIP RIP i can never interact with my neighbor again holy fuck

i was outside w/ my cat just now. and he went behind a shrub for a bit, and me not realizing my neighbor was on the other side of that same shrub, poked my head round and said way louder than necessary, “my SCRUMPTIOUS darling boy, what ever are you doing over there??”

and this 40-something man i very rarely speak to handled it w/ remarkable grace and very tentatively responded “…..watering my.. roses? you?”

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

Found this randomly on a walk. I didn't see any sharp blades or anything anywhere so I'm???

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

[opossumbyknight]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[opossumbyknight]