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[optimisticallysassy]

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl (via markitup)

[optimisticallysassy]

[optimisticallysassy]

Can you make a list of your bug head fic recs please?

Yes! There are so many amazing Bughead fics out there, you are in for a treat! 

Wicked Games by aliquitecontrary (ItsAryanna)- Betty is a famous supermodel with a creepy stalker, so she gets Jughead Jones a hot bodyguard assigned to her. I am obsessed! Anything written by @camelotskingz is amazing! I am obsessed with her stories.

To B.C. I Still Love You by aliquitecontrary (ItsAryanna)- Get out the tissues, this story is beautiful and heartbreaking. Jughead is a best selling author, his novel is about his relationship and break up with Betty Cooper. The angst is so real!

The Girl With The Journal by juggieiheadcoopers- The best Soulmate AU that I have ever read! Jughead writes journal entires everyday since he was sixteen years old about a blonde haired girl that he never met before. Betty finds his journal when he leaves it behind in a coffee shop and reads it. It is sooooo good!

The Serpent and Swan by jugandbettsdetectiveagency- The fandom was blessed with the beautiful pictures of Lili in a pink dress which inspired many new Royal AU’s. I am a sucker for Royal Bughead. This is one of the many awesome Royal fics.

Tacos and Tequila by jugandbettsdetevtiveagency- I love this story so much! It just finished :(, but it is an absolute masterpiece! Betty and Archie have plans for her to visit him at college for the weekend, but when she gets to his place in a snow storm she is greeted by Archie’s roommate Jughead. She finds out that Archie forgot about their plans and is away for the weekend. Bughead trapped together in a snow storm, it’s as amazing as it sounds!

Coop de Grace by justcorbeau- If you love a slow burn this is the perfect story for you! AU set in New York. I am only halfway through, but I am hooked.

Needing/Getting by slantedsunsight- This story is Ski trip Bughead. It is adorable, but hasn’t been updated in a bit. I recommend still reading the first two chapters.

Do You Believe in Fate? by jennimisk- Study Abroad in Italy AU. Such a beautiful story. I look forward to updates every week!

The Winged Beast by onceuponamirror- For those who love Serpent Jughead, this is the story for you. My girl Sabrina is featured as well. One of the first Bughead fics that I fell in love with.

Make It Work by Raptorlily- You can never go wrong with a classic fake dating slow burn to lovers. I am loving this story where Betty and Jughead pretend to be dating for Veronica and Archie’s wedding. Ongoing and I can’t wait to see how it plays out!

And Other Collisions by Raptorlily-  This story is an AU about what if Jughead had been at Cheryl’s party in 1x01. I adore this story. It has not been updated in a while, but fingers crossed that it is updated soon!

I Need My Girl by LILAYYYY-  This story is so unique! Jughead and Betty are roommates who both are in love with each other, but will not admit it to each other. This story features lots of angst and a bisexual Betty. Definitely one of my favorites!

I’ll Wait For You by AGirlNamedWhiskey- This is an AU where Betty is an army kid who moves around. She moves to Riverdale where she gets involved with Riverdale’s car racing scene. Jughead Jones is one of the best drivers in town. Ugh there are no words for how much I love this story!

Crowns by annoe- Another Royal Bughead AU. The story just began and I am along for the ride. 

The Reunion by dreamersshouldknowbetter- Bughead High School Reunion. Very sweet story, I adored it!

The Stacks by Malmo722- An amazing Bughead AU. I can’t explain how much I adore this story!

Blogs to follow for amazing stories-

Anything by @bughead4days​, Anything on her master list is incredible. She has a multi chapter story right now called Snake Skin it is absolutely amazing!

Anything by @betsforsythetrash! Her master list is amazing as well. Self Conclusion is one of my favorite Bughead fan fics of all time. King Crown’s Bar is a smutty story that is in progress right now that I can’t get enough of.

 @bughead-fic-request- I read everything they write as well! Girls on Film is marvelous!

More awesome blogs that post amazing stories-

@jugandbettsdetectiveagency @lusterrdust @wheninriverdale @wordsonpages1 @peacelovebughead @gellbellshead @juggieheadcoopers @bugheadandjughead @itstenafterfour

I all ready know that I am missing a few stories and blogs, so I am so sorry if I forgot you! There are soooo many well written Bughead stories the Bughead fandom is definitely blessed with talented writers. This makes the summer hiatus a lot less painful for sure!

I hope this answers your question xx

[optimisticallysassy]

fandom: the reveal of A.D. can't be worse than Charlotte's reveal!

Marlene: challenge accepted

[optimisticallysassy]

BUT 👏 WHAT 👏 THE 👏 FUCK👏 DID 👏 MAYA 👏 KNOW 👏

[optimisticallysassy]

me, after that fuckin finale

[optimisticallysassy]

Finale got me like

[optimisticallysassy]

They figured Alex out fast. To bad they couldn’t figure out A.D or A for seven fucking years.

[optimisticallysassy]

Amandla Stenberg & Rowan Blanchard Were Named Feminists Of The Year. Hell Yeah.

[optimisticallysassy]

[optimisticallysassy]

Stew Recipes For The Coldest Of Days

Stews are one of those dishes that will never stir up excitement. There’s nothing glamorous about them; no way to make them feel fancy. But despite stew’s failure to shine, we still crave a bowl.

[optimisticallysassy]

Mulder And Scully Reunite In 2-Part Trailer For ‘The X-Files’ Revival

The duo is back after a 13-year hiatus.

[optimisticallysassy]

Zodiac and what's most likely to come after "fuck"

The "it" squad: taurus, sagittarius, capricorn

The "me" squad: pisces, libra, scorpio

The "you" squad: aries, aquarius, leo

The "everything" squad: gemini, cancer, virgo

[optimisticallysassy]

Hero-Glyphics is a Ridiculously Awesome Mashup of Pop Culture and Ancient Egypt

[optimisticallysassy]

43 Times Donald Trump Has Attacked The Media As A Presidential Candidate

[optimisticallysassy]

[optimisticallysassy]

so mara wilson is writing matilda at hogwarts headcanons on twitter and i just…