orionlancasterr

[orionlancasterr]

It’s so funny how people forget what certain dog breeds were bred for. A dachshund named Valerie has been marooned on a remote part of Kangaroo Island since she ran away from a campsite in 2023 and everyone in the comments was like “that is the last dog breed I would expect to survive on its own for 500 days”. Hmm. I don’t know if it’s just me and I’ve met absolute freak dachshunds my entire life but they’re tenacious little motherfuckers with an incredible prey drive. I’m more worried about the critically endangered endemic Kangaroo Island dunnart population than I am Valerie. No large predators, several species of small mammal, temperatures consistently between 55° and 75°? She’s the queen of the island now. All small marsupials quake at the sound of her footsteps.

[orionlancasterr]

So there's gossip about some version of kinktober over on twitter adding a bunch of nonsensical rules this year, and I am fascinated. Studying this like a bug.

Like, what the hell.

(context link)

[orionlancasterr]

He would not fuck like that. Your bar for what counts as "weird" sex is too low. He would fuck much weirder than that.

[orionlancasterr]

'Oh wow, I wonder who gave me all these notes?'

The faithful mutual:

[orionlancasterr]

this is kind of killing me

[orionlancasterr]

[orionlancasterr]

@adelinejclose

[orionlancasterr]

someone: hey I noticed this thing you did in your writing!

me, kicking my feet up flirtatiously: oh??? do you want to hear my thoughts on why I did that? do you want a play-by-play of the language choices in every related sentence? do you want an exhaustive breakdown of The Themes???

[orionlancasterr]

long time no sebanders

[orionlancasterr]

Apparently people do not know what moral OCD actually is. It's not "man, the things that are going on in the world are kinda fucked up and I feel bad for being complicit! Must be a mental illness!"

It's "oh shit I need to read this text over 36 times to make sure I didn't accidentally type out a slur" and "what if this funny cat meme has transphobic origins and I'm going to get cancelled for posting it" and "I have to wash my hands for exactly 5 minutes or else there will be another genocide"

[orionlancasterr]

Watching two people I follow who I know are mutuals reblogging and vaguely posting opposing positions on the same argument that I am not interested in or care about is fascinating. Its like having a front row seat to a cold war of nothing

[orionlancasterr]

I hate having to post political posts like this nut he we are again. Anybody from the UK wanna sign this. Folks from outside the UK maybe share it?

[orionlancasterr]

[orionlancasterr]

I know that the UK censorship laws are evils and fucked up on the face of them but I feel like we kinda blew past the part where it uses a phrenology machine to check your age.

[orionlancasterr]

sometimes I think I'm putting too many sex scenes into something . and then I look at what's happening in the world and I'm like oh yeah there's a massive puritan shift and censorship wave happening. why on earth am I feeling guilty for writing self indulgent fanfic lmao. I think I will make the characters do it sloppy AGAIN !!!!!

[orionlancasterr]

BORN TO DIE

MOJAVE IS A FUCK

我爱女人 Kill Em All 2281

I am trash man

410,757,864,530 DEAD LEGIONARIES

[orionlancasterr]

my migraine #mygraine