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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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me giving my pet chihuahua two kisses: chimuahmuah

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I first read this story on Reddit several months ago but in the time since then it has absolutely haunted me and I regularly remember it as I’m laying down to sleep and without fail even thinking about it will make me laugh hard enough that I wake my sleeping boyfriend and I have to explain “I thought about the what fart again” and apologize

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You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you. And one day the sun will come out - you might not even notice straight away, it’ll be that faint. And then you’ll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who’s only yours. And you’ll realise… that this is where your life is. — Brooklyn (2015) dir. John Crowley

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Funny Marriage Tweets (see 15 more)