orphidian

[orphidian]

I will never have all the joy sparked by seeing you in any of your accounts 💓

[orphidian]

hey idk how many of you are still here, idk if i’ll ever get back into the swing of rping, but if you wanna keep up w/ me my personal/art tumblr is @ninerivens (feel free to DM me if u follow from a personal account so i can follow back my notifs are kind of ridiculous rn bc of the twitter shit and i’m missing ppl in the shuffle)

[orphidian]

everyone look at this beautiful portrait of the emissary that @mercysought / @captainskells gifted me! these colors and textures, the way she sculpted the features, skells is just so insanely talented and it’s been such a pleasure and a privilege that she’s been sharing her art journey & i can’t believe she painted this for me, love you skells 🥺💛

[orphidian]

i miss writing here! i miss talking to you guys!!! ahhhhh!!!!!

[orphidian]

simultaneously having a blast with dares of eternity while mentally sobbing over the lack of emissary/orin lore

[orphidian]

some of youse don't know that time is NOT linear nor even a flat plane once you are no longer bound to your mortal flesh & it shows!

[orphidian]

THEY KEEP ASKING ME IF I WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I KEEP ASKING WHY THEY WANT ME DEAD

[orphidian]

𝙲𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝟷𝟼 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙴𝚂𝚃

warmth                          |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%  ( supportive, comforting ) intellect                          |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%  ( cerebral, analytical ) emotional stability         |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%  ( level headed, calm ) aggressiveness             ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%  ( controlling, tough ) liveliness                       ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%  ( wild, fun-loving ) dutifulness                     |||||||||||| 38%  ( untraditional, rebellious ) social assertiveness      |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%  ( uninhibited, bold ) sensitivity                       ||||||||||||||| 50%  ( touchy, soft ) paranoia                         ||||||||| 30%  ( trusting, easy-going ) abstractness                  ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%  ( strange, imaginative ) introversion                    ||||||||| 22%  ( open, friendly ) anxiety                           ||||||||||||||| 42%  ( confident, self-assured ) open-mindedness          |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%  ( curious, exploratory ) independence                |||||||||||||||||| 54%  ( outgoing, social ) perfectionism                 ||||||||||||||| 46%  ( disorganized, messy ) tension                           ||||||||| 30%  ( relaxed, cool )

tagged by:  @contrabends ily <3 tagging:  @darlingdeadest @cllgood @drifthope @knghtlock @wdzmn @blzna @mercysought (the gentleman) @slaytra @acehuntd + whoever else is reading this <3

[orphidian]

cleaned up my blog a bit (as much as i ever clean up my blogs) and unfollowed a ton of inactive blogs which. if ur secretly still active and not posting anymore and would like me to follow back again just dm me lol 

[orphidian]

“You will burn and you will burn out; you will be healed and come back again.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov (via saloandseverine)

[orphidian]

sorry i’ve been so inactive on my blogs lately, in between working on commissions, mental health junk and just more interest in writing on discord i just haven’t had the energy to answer things on here BUT i hope u all have been well 💛

[orphidian]

[orphidian]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘: 𝑩𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬 𝑬𝑫𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵!

rules: bold what consistently applies, italicize situational does your muse, while fighting …

fight honorably / fight dirty / prefer close-quarters / prefer range / chat during / go silent / low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance / attack in bursts / attack steadily / go for the kill / aim to disarm / fight defensively / strike first / provoke easily / provoke their opponent / tease / get visibly frustrated / shout while attacking / use strategy / focus on their battle / experience conflicting thoughts during battle / rush in recklessly / try to read their opponent before fighting / fight wildly / fight calmly and, or apathetically / fight with anger / fight with excitement / fight because they have to / fight because they want to / fight without regard to wounds / run away when wounded / hide wounds / take a blow to protect another / prefer a blade / prefer a gun / prefer to use their ability / prefer a bow / prefer a shield / prefer a pole arm / prefer a personalized weapon / prefer magic or spells / prefer their fists / their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional / transform for battle / fight as they appear / rely on strength / rely on speed / use everything they have / hide their full potential / exhaust quickly / high stamina / doubt their strength / proceed with caution / behave arrogantly / brag after landing a hit / belittle their abilities / use psychological tactics / use brute strength / avoid civilians / strike down civilians / damage surroundings / avoid damaging surroundings / signature fighting style / making it up as they go / mastered skillset / learning their skillset / use improvisation / fancy footwork / sloppy footwork / messy fighter / elegant fighter / accept defeat / refuse defeat / beg for mercy / compliment their opponent / insult their opponent / use unnecessary movements ( flips, twirls ) / move efficiently / barely move / prefer to dodge / prefer to block / defend their blindside / has no blindside / use all available advantages / strictly use one main method / play around / hold back / fight ruthlessly / show mercy / wait for opponent to be ready / strike when opponent isn’t ready / fear death / fear pain / fear killing / has PTSD / avoid fighting / has lost a fight / has won a fight / has killed / refuses to kill / want to die standing / would succumb slowly.

tagged by: @imbricare <3 tagging: @drifthope @proviidence @glorykill @knghtlock @wdzmn @desiccation (yor) @exilegend @sylluna @contrabends + whoever is reading this <3

[orphidian]

i’m being bullied by @nezhnosts​ :/ 

[orphidian]

fuck all the other times i needed help, this sets the bar.

I had a stroke in july that thankfully left me 95 percent undamaged, but the medical cost of trying to figure out what caused it in the first place is killing me, and it couldnt have been more ill timed than now. ive already had to miss three days of work (thats an entire work week for me, i work twelve hours so that has actually taken hundreds of dollars off my check lmao), and half another because i had a scare last week contrived of psychosomatic symptoms brought on by sheer terror. My landlord two months ago decided that he was going to sell the property out from under me and my roommates under the pretense that its too much of a hassle trying to renovate around four people living in the house, so he's forcibly making us vacate. i was under the impression me and two of my roommates were going in on an apartment but their inability to maintain steady communication is proving to be less than beneficial for me, and im trying to find housing on my own, which hasn't been very fruitful due to the stringent requirements set by property management companies and landlords; ie i have bad credit in their eyes. if i dont move into someplace soon here in my city, i will have no choice but to move in again with my strictly (and batshit insane) conservative, anti vaxx abuser who lives inconveniently for someone like me who cannot drive because of a pre existing mental condition, in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, making it very difficult for me to get to work as my commute will devolve into a two to three hour trip, and a lyft ride that will cost me 200 dollars for just a single fucking day, and thats just going in, not including coming back. I just cant do it. It isnt feasible. i might have to quit my job, and im petrified by the notion. I cant live like that again. im not strong enough right now. all of my medical help is here in seattle. its just not something i can maintain.

On top of everything i might have a hypoplastic vertebral artery, which means the main vein to my brain is potentially clotting, which means that if i dont have a stent put in to clear it, the next stroke i have could possibly kill me. i might need brain surgery. so thats cool.

As it stands im frantically trying to find somewhere to move into. I have to be out at the end of september. I have a friend who says theyre willing to lend me their couch but theyre wishy washy as it is, and i dont trust. this stroke is draining me financially, and i just need some help to try and put money together to give as a deposit, and the first and last month of rent for a place. i dont know how im getting through the day with all of this happening at one time. i just have to. i dont know how i can stay positive like i have been but its a miracle that i can even say im happy. you just have to be when it comes at you like this. life is bizarre lmao. im still alive to say so.

anyways, heres my paypal, i appreciate anything and anyone who passes this along. i hope youre doing okay. its gonna work out.

[orphidian]

just thinking about post!emissary orin and post!aphelion namqi nobody look at me