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Just watching Castlevania season 3 when...

Wait, Is that..?

Goddamn

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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, I make memes on company time.

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“Can I copy your homework?”

“Yeah. Just make sure it doesn’t look the same.”

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Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

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healer_linhardt.jpeg

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honk

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Me pleading with me at 3am: go to bed go directly to bed do not pass go do not collect $200

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things english speakers know, but don’t know we know.

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yayo

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It’s genuinely amazing to me that a Mediocre White Man can spend 20 years creating shows and movies that treat bigotry as a joke, but because the motherfucker donated some money to LGBTQIA groups and stumped for Bernie, he’s hailed as a progressive.

Seth MacFarlane created shows that dealt heavily in anti-black racism, antisemitism, ableism, Ace Ventura-levels of transphobia, rampant and vicious misogyny, normalized rape culture, abuse as a joke, pedophilia as a joke, and violent Islamophobia. He actually fought really hard for a scene where Quagmire rapes Marge Simpson to be aired on live TV – FOUGHT FOR IT, TOOTH AND NAIL – and is still angry that FOX wouldn’t let him get away with it.

He taught generations of young white guys that this shit was okay to say and believe because it was “just a joke” – hell, I’ll bet there’s a good Venn diagram between Family Guy fans and Trump supporters – and anyone who criticized him was just some boring, humorless PC police asshole.

And now people want to call his poorly-written, aggressively bigoted shit “satire” and give him brownie points for *appearing* progressive instead of actually being progressive.

Like, please demand more from your progressive allies than some fucking rich, white jackass who screams “Bigotry is cool! (Kidding)” in all his work, and does the bare fucking minimum every few years to be progressive.

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He’s 37 years old I-

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mother of god

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me in my morning robes walking to the kitchen to get some orange juice