oruborusforever

[oruborusforever]

monday june 23,2025

grateful for: getting sewing done even during orientation , having a job with benefits??? it’s kinda crazy actually rlly grateful for that, getting yummy food for dinner, my darling boyfriend, locking in together, making things & the sense of accompaniment i get from it, AC, fans, showers, my life

[oruborusforever]

sunday june 22,2025

grateful for: having crazy sex with trans ppl!!!, spontaneousness, saying yes, not letting anxiety control & win, meeting new ppl, hanging out with kapka!!, my lovely sexy wonderful bf, how much i learn from him, what a good team we make, him making food for me today, having an awesome 3 way with someone with him <3

[oruborusforever]

sun june 22,2025

grateful for: basil, sewing & making things, the little things, the bunny i saw, the party down the street (i was not there but it’s nice to know ppl r still getting together), grateful for AC & fans & ice cream, that i’m not worked (immediately) abt getting attacked or bombed—- today scary horrid things happen it’s hard to cope but day by day, feeling less sick than yesterday

[oruborusforever]

wed june 18,2025

grateful for: my therapist & her giving me helpful advice, talking candidly & openly with basil, running around town & doing a bunch of errands, summer thunderstorms, basil letting me having umbrella, him also giving me head

[oruborusforever]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[oruborusforever]

tuesday june 17,2025

grateful for: first beach day!!!, hanging out with ziccy @ the beach & going in the cold cold water & playing with rocks & chilling & talking, watching the storm roll in over the lake, the little gray kitten i saw on the street, vivi for giving me cat food so i had some to give to said kitten :,), my sweetie pup tucking me in, being unemployed, summer; the little things, puppy buying groceries & treats <3

[oruborusforever]

mon june 16,2025

grateful for: getting chores done & also doing my creative projects !!!!!, being unemployeddddddd, sewing ! making my first garment, the wonderful weather, eating dinner out in the university campus with my bf, seeing so many bunnies, walking & treats, my sweetie angel, living together, him coming home to me

[oruborusforever]

sat jan 14,2025

grateful for: seeing kapka after a long while, attending the no kings even if idk had a lot of criticisms it was at least good to see ppl angry (?), napping, nice cool summer day, gay ppl!!!! queer ppl!!!! sexy ppl!!!!, drag! & selling my art & meeting new ppl & going to new parts of town!, puppy doggyyyy

[oruborusforever]

fri june 13,2025

grateful for:

seeing david again!!!, reconnecting, colleging together, the proximity of the grocery store to our apartment, getting a lot of things done today, journaling, making food for ppl, mimi giving me paper, being so close to him, puppy bf

[oruborusforever]

tues june 10,2025

grateful for: the people of chicago, showing up & showing out, seeing friends in the crowd, going with my friends, napping, vivi making us dinner <3, my sewing machine

[oruborusforever]

sun june 8,2025

grateful for: old queer people, hearing cynthia’s poem & her talking abt being trans, hearing alison bechdel speak yesterday—— it gives me hope im desperately clinging to, going out last night & seeing friends & having fun, my sweet & lovely bf, him by myself side, us together, im so thankful for him—- things are so scary in this world right now but im so thankful for my friends, for my lover, for myself & trying to continue to make a community & a better place for myself & others, grateful for the revolutionaries right now fighting ice in LA, grateful for the bravery of the revolution, i am trying to be brave too, grateful for meeting artists & ppl buying my bags today (compared to yesterday the contrast was just so stark)

[oruborusforever]

thursday june 5,2025

grateful for: being unemployed, the time & energy it gives me, sewing & making things, the grocery store being so close to me, the nice emo at sallys, my puppy & crafting w him & making out & cuddling & kissing

[oruborusforever]

wed june 4,2025

grateful for: my sewing machineeeeeeee love u girl, my creativity & craft, being unemployed, rainy day inside & also walk, getting things done, seeing bonnie & them being over bulgogi & kim chi, the area we live in, our apartmenttttt

[oruborusforever]

tuesday june 3,2025

grateful for: my sewing mah one, ramiro & him fixing out shower that’s so awesome actually, smoking weed by the creek & talking to ava in the park, sweetie pie making dinner, taking w our neighbors & him giving us the roach of his joint

[oruborusforever]

mon june 2,2025

grateful for: seeing sophie!!!!!!!, grateful to know someone as long as her, the facts she’s till in my life, weh i miss her :<, seeing hannah, collaging with sophie, getting my paycheck & saying bye to my coworkers ( i have to go back tomorrow too tho 😭), taking walks, seeing so many kitties today & feeding this tomcat, my bf & him making me lunch & bringing me advil & breakfast in the morning, gay sex

[oruborusforever]

sun june 1,2025

grateful for: 1st day of unemployment!!!!, waking up early & getting things done, hanging out with my brother !, my sewing machine, my sweetie pup, napping, taking a walk, climbing a tree & standing on the creek bed & watching the birds, natures tenacity to survive

[oruborusforever]

sat may 31,2205

grateful for: finishing working at sushi restaurant!!!!!, wow—the ppl i got to kno there, the free food, feeling weirdly sentimental,proud of myself for holding a job for that long, having another job lined up, gay sex, my bf massaging my feeets. going to ari’s birthday party yesterday & my friendship w them, not getting too drunk, geri t another play piercing yesterday too, going out on a little adventure by my self, my independence & my relationships either others