orvlle

[orvlle]

You're the one that brought up marriage. That's just the natural progression of things.

Jesus christ Ed.

[orvlle]

yeah. and right after i found someone in our bed with someone else.

words said shortly before our wedding

[orvlle]

wow kermit. we're really in it now.

[orvlle]

you know what ? probably not the best to comment on someone's dimensions. that's my bad.

[orvlle]

wow. you're like. flat. that's crazy. and you're a shape. that's crazy. that's - wow. hold on. hold on.

[orvlle]

are you gonna let me infodump or not ?

[orvlle]

hey , have you ever read flatland ?

[orvlle]

You don't know that.

I - you really want me to practice flirting on you ? Doesn't that defeat the purpose ?

oh, no! i'm stating you overthink. there's a difference.

well, you won't know unless you try it! do you want me to close my eyes so i don't see you, or?

[orvlle]

. . are you implying that i overthink ?

( Will's pause catches him off guard , and he blinks a few times. ) No , it's not - ( It takes Ed far too long to catch on to what he's doing. He clears his throat. ) . . Y'know , I think that works a lot better when you do it.

i think you think too much but agree to disagree. coy, hm?

( he himself pauses for a moment before his eyes widen just slightly with a soft gasp. ) are you .. is that a new jacket you're wearing today?o - oh, it's not? how silly of me! it just .. it's sort of embarrassing, but i think you look so handsome, i thought maybe it was the clothes, but .. ( a chuckle sounds, paired with a hand shyly raising to cup his own cheek. the giggle forms a small smile once it ends. ) it's clearly just you, eddie.

[orvlle]

( His mouth opens and closes again. It takes him a moment to really think about it. ) . . Coy ? I guess ? I don't really think about it when I flirt. ( A bold - faced lie. )

it's been around for so long and yet you have none. c'mon! what's your type of like, flirting? i'll teach it to you. are you bold and confident, innocent and coy .. ?

[orvlle]

. . rizz ? that is ancient slang. what is that , twenty first century ? crazy.

that's more like it! you're not going to get any if you don't ask! where's your cool? where's your.. rizz?

[orvlle]

. . ok - i'm not going to get any. that's just not how it works.

is this true or are you doing one of your lying to yourself tricks

[orvlle]

. . no , I suppose not.

[orvlle]

( he thinks about it for a while. he shakes his head. ) It.. uh . . just feels hypocritical of me. I guess.

[orvlle]

i don't think i need to get any.

YOU NEED TO LOCK IN ED!!!!!! ED YOU NEED TO LOCK IN YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY STAFF LIKE THIS

[orvlle]

. . sorry. i just . . my wife. y'know. ( he gestures vaguely. ) iiiiiii - no you're not interrupting at all ! I was just about to leave. Actually.

[orvlle]

( guy trying to wrap his mind around that concept ) you what ?