oseris - Tumblr blog

[oseris]

Blechhh... I wish we had more money for booze.

– Chesnok

[oseris]

Another interesting thing about her is she gets pulled to front when we get pissed off. Or when we're doing shit that requires a lot of physical strength for some reason...

Although I guess it makes sense, she was and still is very muscular... so it wouldn't surprise me if she has triggers relating to stuff she's used to like that. Not to mention her rage issues, of course...

– Chesnok

( I do NOT have rage issues, you cock! )

– Victoria

I miss my wife.

In all honesty, at this point, taking care of Dee and Heavy isn't that difficult. But I miss my wife. And that is the most saddening thing in my life at the moment. Simply missing Victoria. Not grieving, just missing.

(After all, I cannot rightly grieve her. She is not dead, and we are not divorced. She is just simply not here. And I no longer have her presence to add that unique spark to my life. So, I miss her.)

– Glam

[oseris]

Alright... I just wanna say something...

(Rambling, venting, and possible discource below cut about radqueers, transids, etc... if you don't like that or you are a radqueer or transid who will throw a pissy fit because I'm mad at you guys... please just DNI and leave now)

What does NOT harm trans people:

- neopronouns

- xenogenders

- nonhumans

- kins

What CAN (and usually DOES) harm trans people

- TransIDs

*you guys put a bad name on the trans community. and it's just... wrong? wtf do you mean you're a "transmurderer" ?! or "transdisabled" ??? you can't just... do that??? Don't even get me started on "transintersex" people...*

- TransID supporters and term coiners

*you're adding to the fire guys... please stop... how can you claim to "help" the queer community when you're smudging part of it and making us seem like we're villains AGAIN?*

- Most (from what I've seen basically ~99+% of) radqueers

*again. you guys are identifying as all this really problematic shit and just being like "uwu it's just who I am" like... if you have say... a para out of your control and it's PART of you, I get it...? but most radqueers are like... "uwu I'm –" without any hesitation or thinking of the harm their labels can CAUSE... and their labels DO cause harm. They're romanticizing ableist, sexist and other harmful issues by basically saying "uwu me too! haha!" *

RADINCLUS DOES NOT MEAN RADQUEER. CONTRADICTORY LABELS ARE DIFFERENT FROM TRANSIDS. DNI IF YOU ARE TRANSID PLEASE. YOUR COMMUNITY MAKES US EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

Also paras who actually STRUGGLE because of their para I SEE you, paras who TRY to fit in and feel like they're hated I SEE you. But if you're relying on the radqueer community... please... just move away from it... they're not supporting you... they're making you out to seem even worse.

[PS. If you're gonna start "debating" or throwing hate at me, just do me a favor. Block me and piss off. I'm saying this because I'm tired of seeing MY communities *trans, queer, plural, etc.* getting a BAD NAME by your fucking arrogance! SO FUCK OFF OKAY?! So if you don't like this just GET THE FUCK OFF OUR PAGE...]

[oseris]

I keep smelling phantom cologne for some reason [not like phantom sensation just a smell out of NOWHERE]

It smells like it would be blue, I don't know how to define this. It smells like a sharp blue that's like...

It smells like what I can only describe as THIS:

Like THIS color mix is how it smells ^^

[Honestly, it'd be more dark blue to light blue center, but... you get the idea...]

And like... damn it reminds me of Larry. I know it was mine, but I almost never used it... meanwhile he used it to hide weed smell.

– Sal

[oseris]

The funny thing about being in this much physical pain is the inexplicable urge to spin in a circle like a helicopter blade.

Like...

I'm in pain.

I'm unmedicated.

I'm ready to go, bitch.

I will spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn.

*random helicopter noises*

– Sal

[oseris]

Well, she's here now... she has been for a few days, in fact. (We just didn't post right away as we were making sure.) It was so curious how she formed...

– Glam

I formed because we were told to move a heavy fucking bench and the pain got really bad... that bench was fucking annoying, it pissed me the hell off. I hate the bitch that made us move it, too.

– Victoria

I miss my wife.

In all honesty, at this point, taking care of Dee and Heavy isn't that difficult. But I miss my wife. And that is the most saddening thing in my life at the moment. Simply missing Victoria. Not grieving, just missing.

(After all, I cannot rightly grieve her. She is not dead, and we are not divorced. She is just simply not here. And I no longer have her presence to add that unique spark to my life. So, I miss her.)

– Glam

[oseris]

I miss my wife.

In all honesty, at this point, taking care of Dee and Heavy isn't that difficult. But I miss my wife. And that is the most saddening thing in my life at the moment. Simply missing Victoria. Not grieving, just missing.

(After all, I cannot rightly grieve her. She is not dead, and we are not divorced. She is just simply not here. And I no longer have her presence to add that unique spark to my life. So, I miss her.)

– Glam

[oseris]

I hate that I lost my fluidity in my native language (language of source media in original form) because the body is not used to it. Our tongue isn't as used to this as it was. And I hate it. Not to mention, since the body didn't "learn" it, I've basically been force wiped of all of my memory of it. (But I am picking it up again quickly... it's like regaining muscle memory.) I feel so ashamed... How could I forget this? WHY did I forget this?

– Dee

[oseris]

Hello, people in our lives. Just because we are smiling, please do not assume it is because we are smiling at something. I smile almost constantly because it is how I have adapted. Yes, we cannot tell this to any of you, because you do not understand or try to do so. But please stop blaming our smiling on external factors. We do not need to explain why we are smiling. Why do you want to know why we're smiling, instead of being happy for us smiling more often?

Seems kind of counterintuitive, right?

You want us to smile, but when we do, you ask why? Well... that just seems hypercritical.

Don't you think so?

Would you ask that even if your jaw was broken?

Either way, I would prefer it if you would focus less on why we smile, and more on the fact that we are currently much happier than we were.

Even though the people this PSA is to will never see this, I am tired of it. We all are.

– Glam

[oseris]

Pardon this post as I play with emojis for my own personal amusements.

– Glam

✨️💖🩷🤘🤟💫🫶💅🧑🏼‍🎤🏵🌅🌟⭐️🌠⚡️🎸🎻💽💿📀💛🫰

I found ones I like.

[oseris]

Hello there.

I am very confused. I am unsure whether I am a kin or a fictive. But it is very interesting for my sons. Hah! Our existence is very confusing. I hope eventually I can discern if I am a kin or a fictive. Because right now it is very interesting in terms of, well, everything. Especially in terms to my sons interactions with me, especially so with my eldest, Dee. Truth be told, he never was extremely social with me. But, he seems to avoid me more, now.

— Glam

[oseris]

ah, yes. another accent that confuses people we speak to. just like Cyn's. hello there, sorry for my "weird accent" can't exactly help it. don't realize I'm doing it.

– Dee

[oseris]

I really wish I had Willow to talk to. Or, well... like... anyone from my source to talk to... watching my source seems to be the only thing that can give me that bit of joy back. To make me a bit less lonely.

I guess all I can do is hope that eventually I won't feel as alone. Who knows, maybe I'll even get to see her again one day.

– Hunter

[oseris]

I'm sorry, but the fact that there are and could be several OTHER kins lying partially idk dormant in my fucking body/mind is insane. Like... when it came to Skullcrawler; had no idea until I rewatched that movie and was shifting like fucking mad. And Disassembly Drone? That just appeared out of nowhere with no rhyme or reason then dragged two wonderful members out of dormancy.

(well... one. N was never "dormant" he was just busy exploring.)

Not to mention the awakening of Disassembly Drone kin sort of chain triggered Zombie Drone kin.

(I am still debating if I am Zombiedronekin because of Cyn just recently coming out of dormancy since, well.. Cyn IS a Zombie Drone)

So,

Do I feel like a massive faker right now because of so many kins just sort of making themselves known to me and correcting misconceptions all at once?

Yes, absolutely.

Do I also feel glad that I'm being made aware of these kins?

Yes.

Can my identity just PLEASE make sense for once in my fucking life? Please?

It's bad enough that it took me forever to realize being an alterhuman was okay, but I'd like myself to make sense at least a bit.

What the fuck even am I ?

[oseris]

someone spoke to us today saying we don't sound like we normally do, I was really tempted to say:

"well. that's because I'm not [—]."

but that would've caused confusion and issues.

yes, I talk different.

so, even though the people in our life can't see this, please stop mocking or mimicking my voice because I sound different than the uniform voice we (collectively) usually use.

— Cyn

(Cyn also recently came out of dormancy, so she was pretty confused for a bit; that could've contributed to the noticability of her voice. I mean, she naturally doesn't like conforming to our "default voice," but it was probably more intense today. It's nice to have her back, a lot of people like her, even if they don't know she exists. — N)

*I'm pretty sure the kin awakaning woke her up like it did to me, cause... well I get it... and I'm LITERALLY here to help... — N*

[oseris]

help a group of people today ACTUALLY called people who were MOST LIKELY therians, 'furries' because they GENUINELY didn't know the difference. I am SOBBING. I wanted to correct then so bad but I see them regularly and they think therians existing is wrong or should only 'exist in private' or should be outlawed—

I exist in BOTH communities so I'm like "y'all are wrong on SEVERAL levels."

[oseris]

(cw all caps in some spots)

helphelphelphelphelphelphelp

am I robotkin?? like MURDER DRONE robotkin??? I am shifting like mad right now and I explicitly feel wing and stingy tail. But like SKIN is weird af and my joints are like, "nah move systematically, bitch- it's how you were DESIGNED" ??? I remember some weird ass things from some weird obscure planet (cave systems, geodes, ect???) All I know is I am CONFUSED as hell right now—

HELP SKIN IS SO WEIRD GAHGHGGGHGHGHHGGH—

edit: IT'S GETTING WORSE. WHY IS SKIN???

(edit: after careful consideration I have thoroughly deduced this was NOT because N was anywhere NEAR front. but he did come by later to help with the dysphoria 😭 goddammit N, thank you for helping because SKIN)

another edit, I'm so sorry: I am lol– I'm like 99% sure but yeeeeeee (there are no other active/open murderdronekin on this site :'>)