otomelea - Tumblr blog

[otomelea]

[otomelea]

i would like to thank this man for being consistently excellent ✨✨✨

[otomelea]

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this is like so funny but terrifying¿ im laughing partially out of fear

[otomelea]

[otomelea]

[otomelea]

the babadook is the gay icon we didn’t know we needed

[otomelea]

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I HAVE NO WORDS

(ALSO this seems to be the op, on youtube)

[otomelea]

[otomelea]

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The Judy Garland one omg😳👏

[otomelea]

[otomelea]

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A post shared by Darlinghill Glastonbury (@jasper_the_dalmatian)

[otomelea]

lauren will you tell us a story

ok heres something

around a year ago someone asked me to draw danny devito as a kitty, spawning this terrible terrible image 

time passes. a lot of time passes. then two months ago i get an email from a group of people called FPOAFM doing a pottery installation event, and theyre going around gathering artwork from artists to put onto cups and dishes to sell for an event, in exchange for a few pieces with the artists work on them

and i said SURE you can use some of my stuff … . but in exchange.…  i want something with kitty devito on it. i dont care if you put it on anything else, but one item that i get in return has to have this cat man abomination

i give them my address and a few images and months pass. i forget about it. THEN literally two days ago i get this big package on my doorstep, and INSIDE OF IT…. is the holy grail

in addition to two plates is this incredible porcelain cup with the fabled kitty devito on it, proudly grinning his terrible cat grin

the thing that pushes this cup into the Far Reaches of Awful isnt just the image stamped on it. its that it is one hundred percent made from a mold of a styrofoam cup

its finger pressees on the rim, those little lines going around

and all this jargon on the bottom, right under the glaze. the amount of effort that went into reproducing this styofoam cup is incredible and i can stick it in my shelf and drink soup from it at four in the morning with danny devitos smug cat face looking out over everything i do, forever. follow your dreams

[otomelea]

Heather’s Phases

For as long as I’d known Heather, she was into her beauty treatments. Manicures, pedicures, makeovers, all that stuff. I don’t even know the words for half of them. Whatever they were, they helped her feel better. She’d always had body issues.

When we first started dating, I noticed she wore an inordinate amount of makeup. It wasn’t really my thing, but hell, if it made her happy then who was I to judge? She wasn’t a big fan of eating, either. Whenever we went out, she’d get a salad or a small piece of chicken or fish. Never anything good like burgers or steaks. It was obvious she didn’t want to put any weight on.

We dated for a few years, then I proposed. She said yes. Our wedding was gorgeous, and afterward, we settled into marital bliss.

For a while.

Continue reading.

[otomelea]

You know, in a horror movie, everyone always responds with a flight response when they see the monster. But that’s not the only thing that happens when people get scared. I want to see someone choose the fight response. I want to see a character turn around to see the killer right there, scream in terror, and start punching them in the face repeatedly.

[otomelea]

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when a baby is crying in the background and you use slow it down on snapchat

[otomelea]

I’m dying bc his profile pic say “insecure" 

[otomelea]

i work at mcdonalds and one time i was working really late on drivethru and these guys came through and they were obviously high and the one in the passenger seat asked if i wanted to hear his rap so i said sure and he started rapping about how much he loves gingers and then he told me he loved me and i said it back and he was like ‘YEAH THE MCDONALDS LADY LOVES ME’ and asked for my name but then his friend drove off