otter-corg

[otter-corg]

hi it’s me, a college graduate

i don’t have much to say except that im really gonna miss my pals and my professors but i can’t wait to visit (with Puppy) next year. i couldn’t stop smiling at the ceremony, which is great considering i thought i was legitimately going to be crying the entire time. today’s mood about it all: content

i move home later this week, have a job interview on tuesday (that i’m REALLY hoping for, so prayers and good vibes please), will hopefully be getting Puppy in a month, leave for Alaska in 1 month and 17 days, and have lots else to look forward to

as mentioned, now that i’m post-grad, it’s time for me to leave tumblr behind. but i have pals here whom i love and want to stay in touch with. if you feel the same feel free to find me on:

instragram: cricketcorg (my acct is private so maybe message me on here to tell me you’re adding me so i don’t accidentally block you lol)

twitter: ottercorg

youtube: roscocinemas (for travel and puppy videos in the coming months)

facebook: good mutuals only, and i think i already have y’all. message me if you’re interested i guess

remember, i’m not deleting yet so i’ll be around in case messages come thru but the days of x files reblogs and life updates are passed, it’s actually kinda sad :’( but it’s also what need to be done considering...well i mean i’ve mentioned it multiple times now

anyway, thanks for the memories y’all, hope i see you around

[otter-corg]

so like, i had my last counseling session on friday. i think once i get settled into a new life routine post-grad i’ll find a new counselor (since this one is thru campus services so i can’t keep going) and keep growing but im not sure

and my counselor told me something incredible. she told me that she is 42 and has had 2 boyfriends, that’s all. no husband, never married. and the first boyfriend did not come along until she was 34, about 2 years after she started to look inside herself and understand why dating was so hard

i was absolutely floored. here is a woman who has helped me, for the last 5 months, understand the depth and reality of my insecurities and “inability” to date (my deep fear of rejection, my deep-rooted belief that i am not enough on my own to be good for someone, my hyperfixation on one person at a time bc the previous two beliefs cause me to think that im not enough for more than one guy to be interested in at a time) when at the very same time, she has been dealing with the very same stuff

“i kept wondering what was wrong with me, why did it come so easily to all my friends but it wasn’t happening for me? i felt like i wasn’t good enough and thought maybe it would never happen”

like? i was genuinely speechless. psychologists have every right to turn patients away to a different psychologist if they feel that cannot deal with what the client is presenting, and i know in my heart that this woman could resonate exactly with what i was feeling and im sure it brought up a lot of  past pain, but she still helped me. and i’ve grown so much.

in moments that seem like failure (being in a room of new people to meet and potentially date, and being too frozen with the anxiety of rejection to open my mouth) she has taught me to see the victory (at least now i know what’s troubling me, rather than being left in the dark to figure out why it’s happening). she has taught me to look inside myself and find worth that exists all on its own, completely independent of what others think of me.

and i never would’ve had any idea that we had such a similar story, because so freaking often i victimize and pity myself, acting like im the only freaking one that feels unwanted and unworthy, and that was such a slap in my face - much needed. and i was so touched that, like i said, she would continue to help me knowing that it might hurt her in the process. what an angel.

as i said, i can’t keep seeing her because i won’t be a student anymore, but she encouraged me to keep working. she didn’t start dating until she started seeking counseling for these issues. it’s scary because my family doesn’t know i’ve been seeking counseling (im too prideful - they knew every detail about my counseling freshman year, but i don’t want them to know i sought counseling bc i felt like i was incapable of getting a date) and i wouldn’t know how to hide it once i move back home. but i want to keep growing and also be able to talk with an understanding psychologist about asexuality? i guess? i loved this counselor but because she is rooted in Christianity i just felt like i couldn’t mention that part of me without getting a Biblical speech and this is just an area where i don’t want that. so maybe i’ll try finding a more open psychologist that i can sit with and work through that aspect of my life. because it’s certainly another huge factor in my underlying fear of dating that prevents me from...dating. and maybe im not asexual? maybe it’s something else? i genuinely don’t know and that’s why i want to talk about it

but anyway. that’s all.

[otter-corg]

Imagine being a bear. No bills. You can scratch your back on a tree whenever you want. Seasonal weight gain is necessary. No judgement for sleeping 3 months at a time. It would be beary great.

[otter-corg]

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

[otter-corg]

[otter-corg]

Custom Patch Embroidery - find me at halfm0onhead on IG

[otter-corg]

[otter-corg]

Why I Refuse To Support PETA

As most of you know, PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) produces lots of sexist, racist, fatphobic, and even ableist ads. Their ideologies match, unfortunately. They are incredibly unreasonable, too, and they effectively want to remove companion animals from human contact entirely.

Members of PETA have done the following to me.

Attempted to take my service dog’s leash

Threatened to take him away

Sent me death threats

Threatened to euthanize him out of “mercy”

Claimed that I am a “slavedriver” and “active participant in the speciesist h*l*caust” (Ah yes, please tell the romani-german-native girl that she’s basically a Nazi. Good idea.)

Left threatening voicemails on my phone.

Scared me so badly that I had to move house at one point

Grabbed my service dog

Tried to pry my hand off of my service dog’s harness

Threw paint on a faux fur-lined coat I was wearing (the paint got matted in my hair to the point where I had to shave my head)

Speaks openly on their hatred for service dog handlers.

[otter-corg]

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

[otter-corg]

alien: *abducts me*

me: omg huge fan thx

[otter-corg]

did I write this

[otter-corg]

“Are you ticklish” is such a loaded question. If you say no they’ll test it. If you say yes they’ll test it. Just tickle me. Get it over with. Subject me to this horror soon so that I may begin my healing process. 

[otter-corg]

very ridiculous that i am expected to graduate college and then do something else after that

[otter-corg]

HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY

[otter-corg]

hey reblog this post with your 2 am song…like that song you always end up listening to really late at night while you lie in your bed and stare at the ceiling and just exist

[otter-corg]

Blood vessels of a real person who dedicated their body to science for display