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091019, 20:40

hello! it’s be a while since i’ve kept note of anything on tumblr... and a shit ton of things have happened (good and bad) since i’ve last posted... but i guess i just wanted to remember today... although nothing of amazingly gr8 significance came with today (other than joseph saying ‘love you’ to me), um.. idk. louis didnt msg me goodmorning, and i decided not to, too.. idk. i’ve been praying rly hard for God to help me let this pain go, and trust in Him... knowing that if louis and i are meant to be, He will lead us back to each other in time... so... today i’m okay. i.. have been doing better :-) thankfully. and God has rly been here for me. comforting my heart and all. today was a fun day, w molau and ojob, meeting john and other palauans.. then the black-out night w the gang :-) although bax n tim were missin, im gr8ful for today. oh! i also got my workstudy approval again today yayeet! so so blessed <3 

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07022019, 01:01

..i caved n commited a toxic trait that i’ve stayed away from for months n honestly it hurt so bad. it’s felt disgusting n painful.. then it was sorta a wake up call to get my shit together actually. and so i’ve decided to get my shit together. but man.. it’s 1am n i wish louis loved me tbh.. or well, still loves me.. 😔

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1 John 1:5 ‘The Lord is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.'We should never doubt the Lord’s goodness towards us. Even if we are going through difficult times, His goodness remains. There is no darkness in Him at all, so let go of the mistaken tone of distrust.  Reject every unwarranted suspicion regarding His faithfulness and believe that is He is always good and always righteous. PRAYER: Lord, You are my light and my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid. I will believe that You are good and that there is 'no darkness’ in You. In Jesus’ Name,  Amen.

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07012019, 01:25

hola!! we are half way through the year and u know what!! i thought i’d have my shxt together by this time! and i! do! not! :D i literally spent the first three hours of this morning sobbing bc of Louis :D or like.... honestly. he just seems so happy w/o me and.. i dont think he’ll ever wanna be w me again and that breaks my heart :D but.. he did promise that we’ll always be gr8 friends. i couldn’t bring myself to use the term bestfriend, despite how much i was aching to do so, after all the hurt i’ve put him through.. so yeah. but honestly he’s always one of mine. and we promised to always be there for each other. i pray this friendship lasts. but man, my heart rly hurts lol 

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06072019, 12:44

hola guys! hahaha “guys” i know no one sees this (yet, anyways). but i just wanted to state that jic came over yesterday... mind you, after all the bullshit he put me through, including the ghosting and talkin to/fuckin w other girls... i still let him back in. 

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060219, 22:38

just came from a visit to louis’ place.. my heart hurts. i don’t deserve their kindness and love

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05302019, 23:56

honestly, i think i have he coldest heart known to man

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“I don’t ever want to feel, like I did that day.”

— Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge (via music-and-quotes)

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Ask God For A Strategic Plan

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P H I L I P P I A N S 4 : 8

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Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.

Albert Camus (via philosophyquotes)

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#louisandrej

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Nice things Italians say

(or, a random list of italian expressions that i felt like sharing with the world)

“Se son rose fioriranno.” (literally, “If it’s roses, they will bloom.”) It’s usually used to calm down someone (or even oneself) who’s anxious about a certain situation (for instance going on a date), and it means that if something is bound to happen, it will, and hence that there’s no use being nervous.

“Non s'ha da fare.” It means “it’s not to be done”/“it’s not to happen”. Although this construct is strictly typical of the Florentine dialect, this fixed expression has become widely used in the Italian language after one of the most famous scenes in Alessandro Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi (The Betrothed), in the line “Questo matrimonio non s'ha da fare, né domani, né mai.” (“This wedding is not to be celebrated, not tomorrow, nor ever.”)

“Hai scoperto l'acqua calda.” (literally “You have discovered hot water.”) Used to ironise about someone’s obvious remark by calling it a revolutionary discovery.

“Morto un papa, se ne fa un altro.” (literally, “Once a pope dies, another one is elected.”) It’s usually used after the end of a relationship and it means that once you lose a lover, you just find another one. It can also be used in other situations with an equivalent meaning.

“Una volta ogni morte di papa.” It literally means “Once every pope’s death” and it’s used as an informal synonym for “very rarely”. (e.g. “Mi ammalo una volta ogni morte di papa.” -> “I get sick very rarely.”)

“La mamma è sempre la mamma.” It means “Mum will always be mum.” and it’s just an expression to state how your mum will always be there for you and will always be your home.

“Che pizza!” It literally translates “What a pizza!” but it has the same meaning as the English “Nuts!” (e.g. “Piove.” “Che pizza!” -> “It’s raining.” “Nuts!”). In the same way, the word “pizza” can be used as an adjective to describe an annoyingly boring person (e.g. “Sei una pizza, non vuoi mai fare nulla.” -> “You’re so boring, you never want to do anything”).

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Everybody wants a flame, but they don’t want to get burnt.

James Blunt, Bonfire Heart (via music-and-quotes)